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I understand where your coming from CaleWany. I was the same way as a teen. I just always felt awkward, and didn't really fit in with any groups. I had a very small circle of friends, and was shy as hell! Conversation was not my thing!
Like HighFlyingBird, I got a job at Best Buy at 18, my first job, working in sales. I was forced to talk to people if I wanted to keep a job! It took a while to come out of that shell, and sometimes, its still hard for me. I'm relocating shortly to a new city, and at 28 years old, I question if I will be able to find a circle of friends who will accept me for my quirks.
I usually find the best small talk conversations that really blossom into something intriguing are ones about music and current events. For me, small talk backfires when people start talking about movies, as I'm not a big movie buff lol
My best advice is to just be yourself. I'm sure there are things that make you unique and interesting, use that to your advantage. And although it may be hard at first, just put yourself out there. What is the worst that can happen? Don't change for anyone.
Not one person in a hundred, if that, is born with light-up-the-room charisma. But, OP, highly suggest you read How To Win Friends And Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. In that book, he details the kind of charisma that CAN be learned.
^^^^ This. My husband is in his 50's and he still reads this book at least once every 6 months. He started reading it in his 20's and he is the most social, outgoing and fearless person I have ever met. He is not afraid to fail in a social setting because it passes quickly and is a learning experience.
You are 17 and I commend you at your young age for exploring how to be a better you. Some of us wait too long and the longer you wait the harder it is. You have been given a lot of good advice and I hope more people take the time and chime in.
I was a "wall flower" and a "doormat" for many years. When I hit 30 I transformed myself through many of the things that others have already advised here. I am happy with me, have a large family, great friends and an ambitious and successful husband. Life is good. It can be for you too at a much earlier age. Good luck and much success!!!
That charisma which enables one to light up the room,seems I lack
Okay, what about joining a group, like a Warhammer group, or anime, etc?
Also, what about attending college when you graduate? You will be around lots of girls and also could be friends, just from being in the same classes or having the same major. Join the "Pre Vet Club" or the "Pre Law Club" or whatever your interest is.
Hang in there.
Skinny is cute, by the way! Lots of girls like skinny guys.
Just be good-hearted, kind, and look for others with the same good traits.
Okay, what about joining a group, like a Warhammer group, or anime, etc?
Also, what about attending college when you graduate? You will be around lots of girls and also could be friends, just from being in the same classes or having the same major. Join the "Pre Vet Club" or the "Pre Law Club" or whatever your interest is.
Hang in there.
Skinny is cute, by the way! Lots of girls like skinny guys.
Just be good-hearted, kind, and look for others with the same good traits.
I'll join the groups,somehow
About being cute- it's always good to know
Thanks
Be interesting. Do interesting things. Read, be knowledgeable about history, current events. Listen to interesting music: from classical to the newest.
If you are interesting, people will want to get to know YOU.
If you're carrying around a good book that you're reading, interesting people will find you interesting and actually start a conversation about it.
When you speak with other people, ask "open-ended" questions that require more than a "yes/no" answer. Also, when you speak to other people ask them about their favorite subject: themselves. Without hardly saying anything, pretty soon people will think you're the smartest person in the room--I guarantee this works!
You are your biggest cheerleader and support group. If you don't believe in yourself--no one else will.
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