Need help with my life (wife, gossip, introverts, socializing)
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Hmm… open ended questions, could I at least get an example or 2
Being a teenager and all,history, news and such just don't blend with me.I can't promise you much about those
Music, definitely
It doesn't hurt to try though
By the time I was in middle school, I could tell you more about the Titanic, and the Battle of Midway, then you would ever want to know. Still can!
I'm not saying that you have to fake an interest in history that you don't actually have. What I am saying is, don't let yourself get boxed into stereotypical "teenager stuff" if you want to explore other interests. There is nothing wrong with a teenager being interested in history, or current events, or classical music, or horticulture, or cooking, or anything else that is not traditionally thought of as being of interest to that age group.
As for open-ended questions:
"I see that you're reading Harry Potter and the Endless Chain of Sequels. What's your favorite part?"
"I've been debating between a Samsung Worm Hole and an iChatty-Chat 27, and since you have the Samsung, what made you decide to choose it?"
"You know that new law that Congress passed? The one where all males ages 18 through 35 have to either join the Army or else know how to find the Middle East on a map? How do you think that will affect us?"
"If you were in Admiral Nagumo's shoes, what would you have done when Scout 4 first located the American fleet?" (Oops, sorry, that's one for me.)
See how it works? None of these can be answered with "yes" or "no"; they all require thought and discussion. And once a discussion gets started, it can be added to and taken in all kinds of different directions . . . including "What you're saying is really interesting to me; would you like to continue this discussion over [coffee/drinks/dinner/whatever]?"
By the time I was in middle school, I could tell you more about the Titanic, and the Battle of Midway, then you would ever want to know. Still can!
I'm not saying that you have to fake an interest in history that you don't actually have. What I am saying is, don't let yourself get boxed into stereotypical "teenager stuff" if you want to explore other interests. There is nothing wrong with a teenager being interested in history, or current events, or classical music, or horticulture, or cooking, or anything else that is not traditionally thought of as being of interest to that age group.
As for open-ended questions:
"I see that you're reading Harry Potter and the Endless Chain of Sequels. What's your favorite part?"
"I've been debating between a Samsung Worm Hole and an iChatty-Chat 27, and since you have the Samsung, what made you decide to choose it?"
"You know that new law that Congress passed? The one where all males ages 18 through 35 have to either join the Army or else know how to find the Middle East on a map? How do you think that will affect us?"
"If you were in Admiral Nagumo's shoes, what would you have done when Scout 4 first located the American fleet?" (Oops, sorry, that's one for me.)
See how it works? None of these can be answered with "yes" or "no"; they all require thought and discussion. And once a discussion gets started, it can be added to and taken in all kinds of different directions . . . including "What you're saying is really interesting to me; would you like to continue this discussion over [coffee/drinks/dinner/whatever]?"
Ty
So like there are many forums,what interests you about City Data that made you join it?
How'd I do?
Ty
So like there are many forums,what interests you about City Data that made you join it?
How'd I do?
Originally, I came to City Data because I was interested in getting some demographic information about some cities I was interested in. But then I discovered the forums, and I was hooked. I loved that I could read up on the cities I was considering and find out about what it's like to live in the places I was interested in.
In particular, I focused in on Castle Rock, CO and South Jordan, UT. Even though I've spent my whole life living in the East, I've visited the West a number of times and I find it to be really appealing. I poured over the Colorado and Utah forums and learned what I could. I've also visited those places, specifically. I've come away thinking that either of them would suit me well as a place to live. I actually like Castle Rock a little bit better. But I think that the overall social trends are heading more favorably (for me!) in Utah than they are in Colorado. So that would have to factor into it as well. In any case, I'm secure where I am right now, so I don't think I'll be relocating in the immediate future. But it's still very helpful to have learned what I have.
Anyway, as I kept on poking around City Data, I came across the other forums. At first, it seemed kind of odd to me, finding forums such as Non-Romantic Relationships on a website designed for relocation information. But I really came to appreciate the "one-stop shopping" aspect of it, where I could ask questions and get answers about a whole range of information about life in general, in addition to "Is City A better than City B?". Plus, even though there are occasional flame wars and the like, in general I find the average City Data poster to be more civil and polite and helpful than those on some other sites I've gone to.
So, how 'bout you? What drew you here?
[See how it goes? And that's just the opening volley. Good job!]
I was in my normal bored state(coincidence) when I Google overcoming boredom, it brought a lot of options but for some reason, u wound up here,looked at the threads,topics and I liked how things are here,registered and personalized my experience
I had once decided to join the Gaia forums but I had issues registering and moved on
I am also on the wartune forums, it mostly deals with games
I was in my normal bored state(coincidence) when I Google overcoming boredom, it brought a lot of options but for some reason, u wound up here,looked at the threads,topics and I liked how things are here,registered and personalized my experience
I had once decided to join the Gaia forums but I had issues registering and moved on
I am also on the wartune forums, it mostly deals with games
And here's where a just-started conversation can take a fork in the road. On the one hand, you strike me as a nice, personable guy, so I might enjoy continuing to chat with you. But on the other hand, I have no idea what the Gaia forums are, and I'm not interested in online gaming. So how things would go from here depends on whether my finding you to be appealing would outweigh my lack of interest in your interests. (This works both ways, of course; you might not be in the least bit interested in the Titanic or the Battle of Midway; you may find me interesting and want to keep talking, or you may find me boring and want to quit.)
This will happen in any conversation. Some might just sputter out; some might take the tack of "I'm not familiar with Gaia and wartune; tell me about them," and some might want to keep talking, but about something else. Observe the cues and listen to your gut, and go from there. And if the conversation dies, don't fret about it; enjoy it for what it was and move on.
I don't know why, but I get a teaching vibe about you. I'm a woman, and when I was your age, I was ONLY attracted to reed-thin guys who were NOT involved in sports and tended to be modest, intelligent, but always interested in music. In fact, I'm still the same way!
Try to put yourself in a position of showing someone how a certain game works, how to create music electronically (using software) or anything about gaming and music technology, and you'd make instant friends. They will need your assistance, support, and encouragement.
I think you need to feel appreciated, and it might be easier to start conversations with people you know are into this stuff but aren't as advanced as you are. Talk about these things; they interest you, and plenty of people are interested in the same thing but have different ways of going about it or don't know shortcuts or strategy. The key is to get out among real people instead of behind a keyboard to communicate.
I think you sound like a really nice, well-rounded person, and you just need one nudge to get yourself out there and then just start talking. Maybe you could help someone who struggles with this in school, if that's your situation. At any rate, you seem like a natural teacher to me. Just a hunch!
One other thing: develop a keen sense of self-deprecating humor so you can begin to train yourself not to take things so seriously and not worry so much. If you can laugh at yourself, the world laughs with you, as the saying goes, and it's true.
At 17 it is okay to be an "introvert". Maybe you're one of those creative kids and you don't know it. Or maybe you already do and you left that info. out in your post.
Try not to use your peers as a gauge, so to speak, about how and where you should be. Eventually you will meet girls and guys who think and act like you do. Friends.
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