Ladies, has dealing with mean girls affected female frienships? (girlfriend, boyfriend, person)

[Degausser]

Just curious if any other women here have ever had a similar issue. Growing up, for whatever reason, I was ALWAYS the target of the mean girls. I was called ugly and fat by other girls not the boys, it really affected my self esteem and got so bad I even started cutting myself, I stopped but not till after I graduated HS and was 19.

Ever since I have been VERY weary of other women and find making friends with them and trusting them. Yes, I admit I was one of those girls that had pretty much only guy friends, hell, I married one of them

Not just at school but even at various jobs I had I would get bullied! I don't know why I have always been a target, could it be due to my height (6'0), my shyness, or something?

I do try to be polite but when I am it's as if other women view me as weak and take out all their frustrations out on me! Sorry if I am rambling lol.

Anyway, just curious if anyone else has dealt with a similar thing.

[Stagemomma]

I don't think I was bullied as much in school as I was in the workplace.

But yes, mean girl stuff has made me less trusting of women friends. It isn't that I seek out men friends more. I'm fairly introverted and don't feel a need for a large social circle.

I heard some women dishing on the cause of my divorce once when they didn't know I was around. One of them told her daughter who told my daughter there was another woman. They were 13 at the time and really didn't need to know that. I'm still plenty friendly, I just share fewer personal details.

[ocnjgirl]

I was bullied, too, but it doesn't affect my friendships with other women. I think it's quite easy to tell who the mean people are and avoid them but the vast majority of adult women do not IMO fit into that category.

OP, all you're doing is continuing to give those girls power over you...they are dictating your actions years later...they made you a victim back then, but now it's you making you stay a victim of them.

[tottsieanna]

I had to deal with mean girls in school and the work place. I learned to ignore it. Looking back now that I'm older I realized the mean girls and women had insecurity issues.

[prospectheightsresident]

Mistreatment by mean girls has made me weary of women. Period. Especially the "pretty girls" as these were the worst offenders growing up I won't write people off completely before getting to know them, but I do have my guard up.

[HappyRain]

Not really. I was talked about by girls in school.

But by the same token, guys picked on me as well, and were actually meaner than the girls ever were.

At the time, it was upsetting, now I kinda stopped caring. One of the boys who teased and talked about me, I found committed suicide a year or so after graduation.

But ultimately, as time passed I just never cared about people's opinions of me in general, unless it's a man I am attracted to. Otherwise I am pretty indifferent for the most part. I have had women complimenting me, either on hair or looks in general. Didn't particularly care. Had guys interested in me, but wasn't attracted to them, so again, didn't really care.

[purplepanini]

I am a teenager now and yes, there are lots of mean girls (and boys). I used to be friends with a group of girls, and I always felt like their therapist. I was always comforting them at some ungodly hour of the day, giving them honest advice, and offering them a shoulder to cry on. The problem is, they didn't do the same for me. At the time, a few family members of mine had suddenly been diagnosed with lung/breast cancer, alzenheimer's, and parkinson's, and I remember feeling alone, even if I shouldn't have. I thought I wasn't alone, but these people couldn't even give me the time of the day if I didn't want to talk about their problems (which was mostly complaints about their boyfriends, homework, etc).

I cut them off, but there's still a sense of wariness I feel anytime I talk to a girl and she seems nice-what if I befriend her and she sees me as just another human emotional dump? And I can't say the same for any male friends, because I don't have any.

[WorldKlas]

I was never directly targeted by mean girls. I was in the cliche for a while and it just went against my grain to be involved in the petty and mean behavior -- even in Jr. High school I realized the waste of energy and lack of humanity involved in being in the Kewl Girl Club. So I stopped hanging with those girls and to this day I avoid those kinds of people.

However both my granddaughters are in circles of popular girls and I always mention my own experiences to them and my decision to remove myself from any events that my gut told me were just plain mean. They say their friends are not like that. I find that hard to believe, but also do like that both kids have lots of fun and view themselves as pretty and popular. But in the end, I wish i could believe they dont't succumb to the mean girl group behavior. Hummmm......

[erjunkee]

No.

They were an issue when I was growing up...looking to find acceptance and wanting to "fit in."

But my own path in life has lead me to find a great group of very close Christian girlfriends who are a great blessing to me...Also, I'm a lot more confident in my own skin as an adult female. So, I never worry about seeking out close relationships with anyone these days.

I'm sure there are mean girls that cross over the same petty behavior into adulthood, and inevitably into the social and work arenas...However, I'm at a point in my life where I don't care and definitely don't notice.