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People may be forgetting that it was not that long ago that women, even married women, could be fired or told to start their (unpaid) maternity leaves as soon as they started to show. If you "showed early" and really needed the money it be a real disaster for your family.
And unfortunately, we don't even have to look that long ago! It is particularly risky even today for a new hire to become pregnant soon after beginning the job. For one, FMLA doesn't kick in until you have worked a year (and that's only if your employer has more than 50+ employees) so your job might not be protected at all. Also, it can be very difficult for a pregnant woman to prove that she was fired because of her pregnancy in a right to work state.
I have had few people ask if I am pregnant when I packed on the pounds last year. I didn't bother me. However, I asked this other lady if she was pregnant at work and she said no. I said sorry she said not to worry about it and other people have asked her as well.
So would you be offended if someone asked you if you are pregnant when you just gained weight?
This is one of those topics that is off-limits. I would never ever ask a woman if she is pregnant, ever. I don't care if she is obviously 9 months pregnant with twins. You just don't ask out of common courtesy.
I was once asked if I was pregnant by the mother of one of my daughter's friends.
I was absolutely horrified as I had recently lost some weight and was proudly wearing what I thought was an attractive new outfit. Every time that I put on that outfit again I thought about her comment and felt awful about myself and my appearance. I finally just gave the new outfit to Goodwill.
A dear relative discovered during a routine ultrasound that there might be a problem with her unborn baby. It took almost three weeks of testing to confirm that the fetus had a condition "incomparable with life". Basically, there was a 100% chance that the fetus would die. By this time my relative was six months pregnant and wearing maternity clothes. She told her relatives and close friends the sad news and started grieving for her lost child.
But, every time that a stranger asked "when the baby was due" it was like a knife through her heart because she knew that her child would never be born alive.
She was nine months pregnant when her unborn baby/fetus died.
Even though situations like this are rare, you have absolutely no idea about the private life of woman. That is why you should never comment on a pregnancy unless the woman tells you about it first.
Oh, how horribly sad for your relative! The heartbreak of carrying a pregnancy all those months, knowing you won't be able to hold your living child. I had a baby die in utero at 5 months...she was diagnosed with trisomy 13 sndrome. I went for a checkup, and her heartbeat wasn't there anymore. The blood tests showed me as still being pregnant, but an ultrasound eventually showed she was dead. I had to schedule a D & C...but the time until the procedure was hell, because people were asking/commenting on my pregnancy. That was only a few days...your relative had to endure it so much longer.
when I was younger I was asked once, awkward! More recently I have been asked by a male store clerk why I was in a wheelchair. That actually bugged me more.
What business is it of yours if i had unprotected sex with my husband/partner? That is personal and if i want you to know, then I will tell you.
Also, as others have stated, the baby might have already been born a few weeks prior (it takes 9 months to carry the baby and about nine months to get back into shape), there might be a miscarriage, or a tumor, or in my case stubborn belly fat.
A woman's body shape IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! If the person doesn't know you well enough to ask you about your bowel movements and how many times a week you have sex, then you don't know them well enough to ask if they are pregnant. Get over your nosiness.
I don't understand why some of you think this is such a personal question. I don't ask because I'd be mortified if I was wrong. If the woman is obviously showing, it isn't a secret. It isn't the same as asking how often they have sex or or about your bowel movements. Having a baby is hopefully a joyous life event. Other moms and grandmas want to congratulate soon-to-be moms. There is no harm meant.
Not me personally, but my history teacher was asked this question a few times by clueless students (they weren't even trying to be nasty). Apparently it's not because she's overweight, but all of her body fat is primarily concentrated in her torso area.
That would be me. All I can say is I'm glad no one's ever come up to pat my stomach. I hate strange people touching me anyway, so I'd probably react as if it were an assault.
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My husband asked this of a client he knew well...
