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My father is 63 and my parents were married for 27 years and had 3 sons (my brothers and I). It was never a happy marriage.
My father always was a philanderer. My mother caught him with several women countless times, he couldn't see a hot babe go past without trying something with her. Truth be told he was and still is a good looking guy. He has stayed active and always exercised so he looks well for his age.
He has had a great career in a major multinational company and he earned a lot of money throughout the years and spent a lot of it in nights out and women. He also showered us with gifts all the time (the latest toys, a brand new car to each one of us, etc) but didn't really play much of a role when it came to the rest. Our education was always our mother's responsability.
Long story short, my mother decided to put an end to it when she found out he was keeping a mistress nearby, paying for her apartment and for the child they had together. They boy is now 7.
If our relationship hadn't been good before, this nearly killed it. My brothers and I watched how our mother suffered so we didn't want anything to do with him. He would call on our birthdays and I just answered out of politeness. My eldest brother meets him on occasion so he can be with his grandchildren.
Well, he had a major car crash 3 weeks ago. It wasn't his fault, an out of control truck came right at him. When I saw the car I didn't believe someone could have survived it.
He had a lot of injuries and his life was at risk when I went to visit him at the hospital. He was in and out of consciousness while I was there. He grabbed my arm when he saw me and asked if I would forgive him for everything. At the time his death was a serious possibility so I saw no point in holding a grudge and said yes.
Amazingly, he recovered very fast...he's now at home and he pays for nurse care. My brothers and I check on him from time to time. The other day he told me we're being very good to him, much more than he deserves. Of course none of his hot women showed up in his time of need...typical.
I was wondering if I was weak for forgiving him...naturally I don't wish him dead, I hope he recovers. I talked about if with my mother and she said I shouldn't feel this way, that it just shows I have my heart in the right place and that as they say, holding on to grudges gives you cancer.
My father is 63 and my parents were married for 27 years and had 3 sons (my brothers and I). It was never a happy marriage.
My father always was a philanderer. My mother caught him with several women countless times, he couldn't see a hot babe go past without trying something with her. Truth be told he was and still is a good looking guy. He has stayed active and always exercised so he looks well for his age.
He has had a great career in a major multinational company and he earned a lot of money throughout the years and spent a lot of it in nights out and women. He also showered us with gifts all the time (the latest toys, a brand new car to each one of us, etc) but didn't really play much of a role when it came to the rest. Our education was always our mother's responsability.
Long story short, my mother decided to put an end to it when she found out he was keeping a mistress nearby, paying for her apartment and for the child they had together. They boy is now 7.
If our relationship hadn't been good before, this nearly killed it. My brothers and I watched how our mother suffered so we didn't want anything to do with him. He would call on our birthdays and I just answered out of politeness. My eldest brother meets him on occasion so he can be with his grandchildren.
Well, he had a major car crash 3 weeks ago. It wasn't his fault, an out of control truck came right at him. When I saw the car I didn't believe could have survived it.
He had a lot of injuries and his life was in risk when I went to visit him at the hospital. He was in and out of consciousness while I was there. He grabbed my arm when he saw me and asked if I would forgive him for everything. At the time his death was a serious possibility so I saw no point in holding a grudge and said yes.
Amazingly, he recovered very fast...he's now at home and he pays for nurse care. My brothers and I check on him from time to time. The other day he told me we're being very good to him, much more than he deserves. Of course none of his hot women showed up in his time of need...typical.
I was wondering if I was weak for forgiving him...naturally I don't wish him dead, I hope he recovers. I talked about if with my mother and she said I shouldn't feel this way, that it just shows I have my heart in the right place and that as they say, holding on to grudges gives you cancer.
Not weak at all. In fact, it's a sign of strength.
But holding grudges doesn't give you cancer.
A better way to look at it is that it's like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Thanks. It's just not in my blood to wish someone dead unless they are a major criminal...I don't believe in sudden changes but he seems different after the accident.
You know, I really get this. My dad was loyal but filled with rage that was directed at our entire family. I just didn't want to have him in my life after the divorce. A couple years ago he was hit by a car. A good firiend of his contacted me and I got back I touch with him.
Long story short, he was the same guy after he recovered as he was before. The same guy I don't want in my life. It has nothing to do with forgiveness. It's just about who I want to spend my life with, who I want to know my kids, and where I want to put my efforts.
Your mom is right. But you show your strength of character through your actions. You are a lesson of goodness and charity not only to your father, but to anyone else who is associated with you.
You did well. For you. What he does with your gift of forgiveness is up to him.
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