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If you are telling the truth, then I just want to hug you and tell you that everything is going to be alright. But it's going to need some tough decisions on your part.
If abortion is not an option, then please, please, please consider a private adoption. You can choose the parents, your medical bills will be taken care of, and some arrangements can be made for housing while you are pregnant. The baby will go to a couple who are desperate for a child and who has the financial resources and stable relationship to raise a child successfully (forget "Juno", ok?), and you will be able to move on with your life and make decisions for YOU, not the two of you. You will be able to take care of yourself, by yourself, much easier than having to make compromises to take care of a baby. And if you specify an open adoption, you will be able to be a part of the baby's life, within reasonable limits. It's not just snatching your baby from your arms and you never seeing it again. It's a true act of love.
I know you want to be loved. But that's a lot of responsibility to put on a kid. Your mother probably felt the same way . . .
And while your mother may be disappointed -- she can't beat you up emotionally more than you have already beat yourself up. Take a deep breath, make a plan, and then tell her what you, as an adult, are going to do to solve your problem. She may have an opinion -- but YOU are the adult, and YOU make the decisions. She may be angry and disappointed. Well, that's on her, and frankly, it's a waste of time on her part, but you can't control how she spends her time or emotions. You need to focus on what you need, and what is best for you and the baby.
Talk to Legal Aid in your area and see what can be done about the ex-boyfriend. It's libel. Get a restraining order, a cease-and-desist order. AND NO MORE NUDE PHOTOS? Ok? If a man wants to see you nude, then he needs to earn the privilege.
. Besides I really want to keep this baby, I want someone to love and take care of since I have nobody.[/quote]
That is the worst possible reason to go through with a pregnancy.
I can't help but wonder how old the OP was when she sent the nude photos. If she was under 18, that ez shouldn't be posting those around or threatening to send them to people... that's distribution of CP.
All she needs to do is throw that back at him and I'm sure he'll stop posting flyers pretty quickly...
If you are telling the truth, then I just want to hug you and tell you that everything is going to be alright. But it's going to need some tough decisions on your part.
If abortion is not an option, then please, please, please consider a private adoption. You can choose the parents, your medical bills will be taken care of, and some arrangements can be made for housing while you are pregnant. The baby will go to a couple who are desperate for a child and who has the financial resources and stable relationship to raise a child successfully (forget "Juno", ok?), and you will be able to move on with your life and make decisions for YOU, not the two of you. You will be able to take care of yourself, by yourself, much easier than having to make compromises to take care of a baby. And if you specify an open adoption, you will be able to be a part of the baby's life, within reasonable limits. It's not just snatching your baby from your arms and you never seeing it again. It's a true act of love.
I know you want to be loved. But that's a lot of responsibility to put on a kid. Your mother probably felt the same way . . .
And while your mother may be disappointed -- she can't beat you up emotionally more than you have already beat yourself up. Take a deep breath, make a plan, and then tell her what you, as an adult, are going to do to solve your problem. She may have an opinion -- but YOU are the adult, and YOU make the decisions. She may be angry and disappointed. Well, that's on her, and frankly, it's a waste of time on her part, but you can't control how she spends her time or emotions. You need to focus on what you need, and what is best for you and the baby.
Talk to Legal Aid in your area and see what can be done about the ex-boyfriend. It's libel. Get a restraining order, a cease-and-desist order. AND NO MORE NUDE PHOTOS? Ok? If a man wants to see you nude, then he needs to earn the privilege.
This is what I was wondering. I don't know about adoption, but I thought in some cases a single mother could look at some different people and chose the parents they feel would give a baby the best home.
So I was wondering if that was the case, or not. So I was reluctant to say.
You are in for a rough life if you keep this baby. It is not easy being a single parent. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is on your shoulders, and there is no one to give you a break when you need it, unless you have a very good support system (which it doesn't sound like).
When you are ready to start another relationship, you'll run into 2 kinds of men - the ones that are good for you but bad for your child, or good for your child but unsuited for you. Unless you get lucky, but it does narrow the field quite a bit.
You may be wanting someone to love, but a child takes more than it gives for quite a while. Unless you have a good job, money will be tight. You won't be able to afford everything you or your child needs. You will need to consider child care expenses and the hours you work will have to be compatible with whether or not you can find child care. Stripping is usually done at night - you may have problems finding someone to watch your child during those hours, and you will be in an atmosphere that is full of drugs, liquor, and sex. Not exactly "mom" material.
I left my husband when I was pregnant, and already had another child, but I knew bringing another child in an abusive marriage was not doing the children any favor. Being a single mom was not easy. Please speak to someone who can help you make a good decision, and best of luck.
OP, have you read any of the posts here on this forum? There are quite a lot from people who are now adults that hate their parents for making really bad choices when they were growing up. The environment a kid grows up in can destroy a person's outlook and make them grow up bitter and angry adults. Just read the posts here and you'll see. Just because you want to love a baby doesn't mean that baby is going to grow up loving you back. There's this little thing called Free Will that all of us have, which means that your kid may or may not grow up to love you. But I guarantee that if you raise them in poverty being a stripper or something then they will grow to resent you and your choices that you made in life. And they'll end up bitter and angry like the people who've posted on here about how much they hate their parents.
Blame it on the strict catholic upbringing, I don't think I am strong enough/physically to have an abortion. I think it is fine if other people want abortion, but I just know if I get one I'll probably feel guilty for the last of my life for committing "murder." You would too if you had that drummed into your head by your mother since you were young. Besides I really want to keep this baby, I want someone to love and take care of since I have nobody.
Not strong enough to have an abortion because keeping a baby is just so much easier than a ten minute abortion....oh please!!!!
Please OP if you're for real choose adoption or abortion. If not, I have great sympathy for your future child as you will be dooming it to a miserable life.
Also, please don't get a dog; you're not responsible enough right now to raise a child or a pet. You have a lot of growing up to do first.
Have you ever watched the Teen Mom series on MTV? If not, I highly recommend you check out a few episodes. It's a relatively accurate view into the lives of young single mothers and I haven't seen one episode yet that made teen/young motherhood look like anything other than a life of misery. And it's a life of misery for all involved, the baby, the mom, the baby daddy, the grandparents, etc.
Yes you can probably get a job as a stripper but you will have to stop stripping once the baby bump appears and you won't be able to start again until you've lost all the baby weight, have a flat stomach and aren't nursing anymore, so probably at least 6 months to two years after the birth assuming you don't get stretch marks. If you get stretch marks, you will have to wait at least a couple of years before they fade enough for you to be allowed back on-stage. And if your chest area (the girls) get too saggy you will need to have a surgical lift before you could resume stripping. Basically, what I'm saying is don't count on an income from stripping to support you and your child.
Last edited by patches403; 04-30-2015 at 02:42 PM..
Thanks for some of the answers. I really want to keep the baby, but I won't of I can't provide for it. I'll see how the next few months play out. And yes I was of age when I sent the nude pics, my ex is a horrible person but not stupid. I am not a troll, some people are just unlucky to have a religious nut jobs as a mother. The friend who got me pregnant is no longer a friend, he hates my guts.
Not strong enough to have an abortion because keeping a baby is just so much easier than a ten minute abortion....oh please!!!!
In the back of my mind I will always think I committed murder. I can't help it.
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