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Years ago I worked for a Korean company in New York. I remember the office manager telling me one day that she liked my outfit but it really made me look fat. Another day I came in on a bitterly cold day and a group of them laughed hysterically because my nose was red from the cold. They were all related to the owner and knew they'd never be disciplined - the American borns were the outsiders. There are cultures where people have no issue commenting on people's weights and appearances. They think we're the ones who have the problem because we're too sensitive.
Years ago I worked for a Korean company in New York. I remember the office manager telling me one day that she liked my outfit but it really made me look fat. Another day I came in on a bitterly cold day and a group of them laughed hysterically because my nose was red from the cold. They were all related to the owner and knew they'd never be disciplined - the American borns were the outsiders. There are cultures where people have no issue commenting on people's weights and appearances. They think we're the ones who have the problem because we're too sensitive.
Maybe, but it may be that the office manager meant well even if it didn't come across that way. It is one of the duties of managers to see that employees dress appropriately, and maybe she felt that your outfit made you look less than professional.
OTOH, the group that laughed at you was just plain nasty and rude. That's NOT a cultural norm but rude behavior that they knew they could get away with because of office politics.
The OP's comments were also just plain nasty and rude.
Just to add something else. I also had my tires slashed 4 months ago at work and I had no idea who did it. Now I am suspecting she might have been the one who did it?The camera didn't capture who did it so we had no idea who did it.Now I am suspecting that there is connection.....hummm..
Or it might have been the co-worker you insisted on taking to church.
People KNOW what they look like; you don't have to point it out to them. Pretty sure everybody in the world has access to a mirror on a daily basis....
This type of comments are common in my culture. I didn't think much of it until she told me that she was very hurt by it. I apologized and she seemed fine around me afterwards but she wasn't as friendly and warm before the incident .She will respond whenever I say hi to her
Now months later,i say hi to her whenever I see her but she now ignores me and avoids me. it because of the comments I had said before?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
You "just say" what's on your mind, right? Try to look at this as her "just saying" what she wants to say to you, but with her mouth shut.
^^^great reply
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Originally Posted by MissmamaAnnie
she lost the weight again and went back to her original size.Even when she put on weight,she wasn't fat.She was just cuvier than before
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33
In what culture is it appropriate to comment on another person's body size, especially about that person when she is standing right in front of you? Really, we want to know.
Regardless, in the typical American culture it's considered extremely impolite comment on a woman's body size or shape. If you want to say "You look great!" then say just that.
Now I'm also curious what culture thinks making comments like this is ok. I wouldn't say hi to her
either - who knows what she would like to criticize next.
To the OP, I saw in another thread u commented to somebody about them being pregnant and they weren't and u couldnt understand why they were upset by that.
Do you go around looking to make a note of when people look heavier?
You mentioned that people have noticed your weight gain. Is it possible you live in a world of misery wants company?
I understand your way of thinking but some things are better not said.
I was recently told I put on some weight and I took it as an observation - nothing more
.
With a guy you can tease him little bit about weight, beer belly, etc with women it is very sensitive.
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