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It's common. Couples tend to like doing things with other couples. Sometimes groups of friends will be distant when someone gets matched off, or becomes single again.
Me personally, I prefer being left out. I would hate being invited somewhere and everyone is coupled up. I don't care for being the extra wheel. My friend would sometimes invite me out with her and her boyfriend. I usually made an excuse and declined. If she was going somewhere with other girlfriends, then sure.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
It's common. Couples tend to like doing things with other couples. Sometimes groups of friends will be distant when someone gets matched off, or becomes single again.
Me personally, I prefer being left out. I would hate being invited somewhere and everyone is coupled up. I don't care for being the extra wheel. My friend would sometimes invite me out with her and her boyfriend. I usually made an excuse and declined. If she was going somewhere with other girlfriends, then sure.
I do the same also. Otherwise, I end up feeling like the 3rd wheel
It's pretty common. The majority of couples (especially married couples) tend to do "couples friendly" activities and get-togethers with other couples. When kids enter the equation, this becomes even more true...as couples tend to do "family friendly" activities with other couples w/ kids (e.g. the kids play with each other while the grownups chat and laugh and stuff over drinks). It just tends to naturally happen as folks enter their "settled down" phase of their lives.
Also, in general once people get into their late 20s (or older), get into long-term relationships, marry and maybe have kids...their primary priorities are (a) their significant others, (b) their kids if any and (c) their jobs/businesses. That doesn't leave a whole lot time for getting away hanging out with friends. Most social activities are either done together as a couple, and if one is getting together with friends solo then they let their SO know in advance (FYI that is NOT the same as "asking permission"). Social get-togethers sometimes have to be scheduled well in advance to work around everyone's adult responsibilities...the days of ringing a buddy up and telling him "hey dude let's hang out today and play some pickup ball!" are pretty much over.
Keep in mind that most people who are in happy relationships consider their partners to be their best friend.
There's nothing malicious about it. I doubt they harbor any ill-will towards their single friends. It's just that...
a) They feel that their single friend(s) may feel out-of-place at the event or venue. In other words they don't want their single friends to feel awkward, which may trickle down to other attendees also feeling a bit awkward, therefore decreasing the overall potential enjoyment of the event. Conversations are likely going to revolve around "couple-y" stuff, kids, etc. Not last night's wild party where half the patrons are **** drunk and grindin' against each other on the dance floor. They've likely progressed past their partying years, while their single friends (if they're the partying type) may not have made that progression yet.
b) It gets easier to connect with and more importantly RELATE to other couples and families, and more difficult to relate to folks their age (or older) that are still single, including their single friends.
c) If one (or both) partners are insecure and easily prone to jealousy, then they may feel a bit more safe and comfortable spending time with friends and acquaintances that are also in long-term relationships...ideally happy ones.
One of the biggest benefits in getting coupled up and married between the ages of 25 and 35 is that most people in general, including many friends/coworkers/colleagues, also get settled down at around that same time. Put another way, they all enter their new stages of life at around the same time.
Marrying much younger than the average age range OR remaining single (as in no BF/GF/spouse) much older than the average age range may make it harder to relate to a lot of folks around your age. Most young folks, even those with girlfriends or boyfriends, may not quite "get" married life...and many older married people may have some difficulty wrapping their minds around someone their age that's still single...especially if that someone seems like a good catch.
My advice to the OP is two-fold: (1) Just try to get used to it and accept that coupled friends who seem to drift away and focus more on their relationships is just a part of life, and a part of growing up and maturing. (2) Seek out new friends who are single. There are plenty of older singles out there, especially if you live in an urban, progressive city. Perhaps look into events and activities that are popular among folks who are single, or at least popular among both singles and couples.
Whatever you do, don't withdraw into a shell and become a loner. Keep putting yourself out there.
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