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If it was ME, I'd want to know. If I had a friend or sister know or even suspect my husband was cheating and did not tell me, well I would be extremely angry with them. I can't understand women or men who say they would NOT want to know. I would probably cut my own sister out of my life for not having my back. It would hurt me more if my sister did not tell me than the cheating itself! As far as best friend, that would make me feel they don't have my back and they let me get blind sided not giving me time to prepare.
I guess the best thing to do is think about your friendship with this person. Is this person close to you? Do you have history? Would he tell you? What is his personality? Is he the type that you think would want to know? If yes, then tell him you saw so and so when you were out to lunch. You didn't get a chance to say hi to her and her friend. Hopefully this opens up the conversation. If he says who was she with? You say some dude.
If all else fails and you can't get this off your mind then tell him that. Say, man I'm kinda in a weird position right now. It's probably nothing and I may be way off base here and I probably should mind my own business but this is bugging me.....then just say I saw so and so and it looked cozy from where I was sitting.....
I was at lunch and saw a friend's wife at lunch with a man who was not her husband. They seemed rather intimate. Snuggly & kissing, having some drinks with their food. They didn't see me. Should I tell him?
I would tell HER! "Whassup?"
Then, decide from her reaction when she knows you know...or maybe
it wasn't what it seemed...maybe she did have a fling...
and was breaking it off...boy, that could be a marriage broken from one mistake...
that didn't need to happen....maybe...just a thought
Last edited by Miss Hepburn; 05-05-2015 at 08:58 PM..
You had better be sure of what you saw before you tell him. If they were simply eating and drinking at lunch, they could just be co-workers. You said they were kissing, was it a quick peck like "hello" or "goodbye" peck? Could it be that the man is a sibling or relative and they were just visiting? If you are sure that it was romantic and not just a casual peck, if you are a good friend you should definitely say something.
Personally, if I was CERTAIN about the inappropriateness of the situation, I might have approached the table and said "Hi Sally, I don't believe I've met your friend. I'm Bamablue, Sally's husband's friend from (insert where you know husband from)" and stick out your hand. It would be fun to watch the color drain from her face. Then of course I might let her sweat it for a day or two before I go see her hubby. But that's just me... On the other hand, she might just say in reply "Hi Bama, good to see you again. Have you met my brother from Chicago".
All I can say is they were doing the kind of kissing/snuggling that appeared romantic, boarding on inappropriate (to me) in public. If they are related, it's creepy.
Caution!!! You may end up getting the surprise of your life by telling him!
Perhaps? "Thank God! I enjoy my selfishness! I just don't have the time to meet my wife's incessant demands and needs! Good for her! They can even come back to the house and rendezvous in our bed if they like!"
Be a friend, and tell. My guess is that if someone say your spouse in a similar situation, you would like to be told. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
OP - what about getting together with your friend going out for pizza and just kinda casually say something like, "there's a guy I work with and saw his wife at lunch with another guy and they were clearly together, what should I do" ? Just kinda throw it out there this way, see how he responds. If he says, oh I wouldn't want to know if it was me, or I would definitely want to know. He may also say that he has a feeling his wife is cheating. Whatever he says this will give you a better indication what to do.
Snuggly and kissing? That is actually worse than having unprotected sex under the office desk! It's worse than an orgy! [extreme sarcasm]
Mind your own business, dude.
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