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I think it's fine. If she makes you feel bad, or awkward with some behavior or comments, then best to let it go. No hatred, just moving on.
I did it with my friend. I'm black, but have albinism, so my skin is white, hair is blonde, and eyes are green. So some can't tell what I am by just looking. My friend, when we were in HS together got along fine. We were both late on learning to drive, so whenever we hung out, usually an adult was around as a ride. She was fine. But when she started driving and got her own license, and we got together more, some comments started to come out. And it led me to believe she was either slightly racist, or very ignorant and buys into stereotyping. So finally, I deleted her number, and didn't respond to any calls. Currently I haven't spoken to her since Feb. of last year.
I don't hate her. Have no ill will toward her whatsoever. But she did make me feel uncomfortable with some of her comments. So I just went separate ways of her.
Sometimes it happens. You can be close for a while, but eventually someone changes or shows a different side, and it's not always great.
Oh and lastly, the event that caused me to lose my last ounce of respect for her: She met a guy that she admitted she wasn't attracted to him, said she will make herself like him, had sex with him and didn't like the sex. She did not want to tell him she only just wanted some company because she was bored and lonely and tried to string him along.
I convinced her to tell him the truth, and she finally asked him (VIA TEXT BTW) if he wanted to be just friends. Of course he was hurt and did not agree to that, and she was bummed out. So she feels she lost a chance to have a companion to hang out with and make her feel special.
I don't believe in using people for company and stringing them along. I told her because she was never truly interested in him in the first place, is why it was so easy to lose interest in him. If you knew you wanted to be just friends with benefits, do not tell him you want a relationship.
Very rarely do asians have double d's even when overweight. The weight never makes it there. But yeah she could be very mean. She never made remarks on penis size to the guy, she would dump them and talk trash about how worthless he was.
This is the friend from hell. And backing away slowly, silently, as you have done, is one legit way of dealing with such people. You move them to a back burner. You find people with better character who truly care about you, and put them on your front burners. You don't have to make a big announcement about it, just let her figure it out. Or not figure it out. No loss to you.
Your first paragraph is all that was needed for me to say that this person is not a good friend. Nice people do not say these things to anyone, let alone a friend.
You are better off without her. You didn't go back on your word, as far as her being a maid of honor. You just saw the light, and realized she is not capable of a true friendship.
I don't even understand how this person would be labeled "friend" at any point. Is there some new definition I don't know about that's exactly the opposite of what a friend actually is?
I should probably remove her from my facebook, actually. I thought that would be low of me if I did that so I left her on there.
Change her "relationship status" to RESTRICTED. Also stop with the guilty feelings. Anyone who was so insensitive and rude does not deserve to be your friend. Let it go. Don't answer phone calls or emails. In fact don't read any that she sends to you (marked them as JUNK). You don't owe her an explanation and AFA being your maid of honor, why would you want someone who hasn't been very nice?
The type of "friend" whose words or actions bring you down.(whether you realize it as intentional or not) The type of friend you ought to cut off but don't cuz...they're nice... good ...you've had good times with them. U know...they're good people that you can count on to bring you down again sometime in the near future.The friend you may or may not have cornered about their quicksand like ways and keep around because "its in the past"...and so was one minute ago. The person that will continue to bring you down until you demand better for yourself.
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You don't need someone like her in your life. Don't feel bad about changing your mind about her being your maid of honor. As another poster pointed out, should you make her your maid of honor, she will do her best to bring you down during one of the happiest days of your life.
Think about the literal meaning of "maid of honor". This person would seem to be the precise opposite of a real "maid of honor": she is not exactly "maidenly", nor is she a person of "honor".
Do not pursue any connection at all with her. If you encounter her by chance, be cordial but distant. Become very, very busy with activities that do not involve her and are unlikely to involve her. If she calls, cut her off as quickly as you politely can. "oh, really?" can be a convenient phrase to use if she starts her critical comments again. Also "Hmmm, that's interesting". Repeat as needed.
But find kinder people to hang out with. This person does not deserve your friendship.
No disrespect intended, but just the fact that you're wondering if cutting her off is the way to go shows that the moment she confronts you--assuming she does--you'll fold. I will never, EVER understand people's inherent need to be 'polite' to people they secretly cannot stand. People will kiss the ass of a person who denigrates them, then complain about the person afterward. Amazes me.
She's a miserable person who has a punching bag. That's all she is, she puts you down to uplift herself. Either cut her off completely--and shut her sorry ass down if she DOES call you--or continue being the doormat of a person who is not remotely worthy of having you as a friend.
And I mean taking this seriously to the point of happily driving by and honking were you ever to see her with a flat tire on a darkened, lonely highway, with a pickup truck full of inebriated, 'Deliverance'-style rednecks waiting at the red light behind you.
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