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She's not a gossip or anything like that. It just seems like she's hiding something but I can't figure out what. She's seems overly scared things. She believes in consperacy theories, so I think she is suspicious of everything.
I do keep some things close to my vest so I am careful of how much I tell her.
It's just that I find her strange in how private she is but yet tries to get to know me and make me think she's a friend.
Luckygal15, you have a lot of threads about problems like this with coworkers. Do you enjoy the drama? Some people do.
What is there for you to figure out? You're not a detective working on a case, this is a woman you work with. You're only concern should be if she is slacking off at work and if it is directly impacting something that you're working on....other than that there is nothing for you to figure out.
Personally I always found it best to keep work and your private life separate. You can be friendly, go out to lunch with people, but don't talk too much about your personal life. JMO, but I find it's better that way.
You simply say as I said earlier "why do you ask?" That will stop most people in their tracks, because now it is back on them.
If that doesn't work due to her being too thick, than you say "look I have decided like you I prefer not to discuss the personal details of my life" and change the subject.
As already written one doesn't have to share details just because questions were asked. I think asking the person why they are asking for details or simply saying that you don't want to share is the best way to handle the situation.
I know someone (a "light" friend, not someone I hang out with) who does this. She marches to her own drummer and lives a different life from her friends, and some of us have caught on that she focuses on others to keep the attention off herself.
GOSSIP and 2 face. I've worked with many of these type of women, in the few years that I worked in corporate America. These types are the very reason I don't miss working at all lol. And if you don't share personal details about your life with them, you're stuck up. Like I used to be called behind my back. I even had a twit at my last job ask me on my 2nd or 3rd day there "Oh, so who do you like and don't like from our group. You can trust me." Yeah moron, I'm sure anyone over the age of 12 would trust you..
What is up with people who want to know all about you but when it comes to things about them, they are very secretive?
I work with a lady who is very nice and sweet but she always wants to know what I'm doing in my personal life, and other things about me. Then I think she is my friend (although work friend and I do know the difference).
Now her parents of 50 yrs are going through a divorce and when I asked why, she just said she couldn't talk about it.
If the shoe was on the other foot, she would definitely ask me.
She has done this with other stuff, asked me stuff but is very cagey when I ask her the same.
I don't get people like this. It's like she's hiding something.
I generally wouldn't trust a person who's cagey like that (not sure if this is an isolated incident), but she could mean I can't talk about this meaning: "I can't talk about my parent's divorce at work right now, because I get too sad" so she puts on her professional face.
If she was a genuine person truly wanting to just get to know you, I would judge her true intentions by the other personal things about herself she shares and makes relevant to you when she tries to relate. But, if she's not open book either, and only asks, then yes she is a conniving backstabber, and you guys don't have any business talking about deeper things but to really keep a distance. Big time. People like that are scary.
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You're not a detective working on a case, this is a woman you work with. You're only concern should be if she is slacking off at work and if it is directly impacting something that you're working on....other than that there is nothing for you to figure out.
