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It all depends. If I was close to these people as a child/teen and they are upstanding human beings today, I'd be happy to reconnect with them. Otherwise, I'll pass the opportunity by.
It all depends. If I was close to these people as a child/teen and they are upstanding human beings today, I'd be happy to reconnect with them. Otherwise, I'll pass the opportunity by.
I had the same thought. In fact, I discussed that with my long-time friend from 1972. I suggested that a good rule of thumb is to hold positive things in one's favor from all the way back, and negative things for about 20 years.
It kind of depends on how close we were, and whether we have shared experiences. I knew a girl in high school who I connected with recently. She lives in NYC and is some kind of New Age mumbo jumbo minister. We said hi, and nice to see you, and that was it.
On the other hand, I reconnected about 15 years ago on a site called Classmates, before Facebook, with the boy next door. He and I and some other kids had the best times together, just hanging out. He was always really funny, and as an adult had had a career as a radio personality. We corresponded, and after he and his wife moved to FL, my DH and I visited them and spent hours reminiscing. He recently died, and I am so happy we got a chance to reconnect. The memory of that visit is precious to me.
In answer to OPs question, I am open to hearing from the people I grew up with. We may or may not have anything in common any more, but I am happy to hear that they had a nice life.
I had my first experience with this when I was 19. I had moved from Alaska as an 8 year old and was back on vacation visiting family up there. I was super bored a couple days into the trip and it hit me: TRY TO MEET UP WITH OLD FRIENDS!
I did some myspace snooping and found+contacted 10 or so people that I had been friends with- but couldn't find either of my two best friends from back then. None of the people I reached out to remembered me. It was borderline offensive - I was like "WTF, I was popular!" but the realization hit me that it had been almost 12 years since I left. That's a big chunk of a 19 year old's life. A couple of them eventually remembered me, so I asked one what happened to the two good friends I had and they had both died already. Ouch. Trip ruined.
I've seen adults try to reconnect with childhood friends through social media, and it seems to go one of three ways:
1) Person reaches out, other person doesn't respond
2) Person reaches out, other responds, messages go back-and-forth about 3 times and end without a goodbye or suggestion to meet up/talk again
3) Person reaches out, other responds- only to get solicited for some stupid worthless pyramid scheme
Unless they were pretty good friends originally, the person who gets reached out to is usually pretty spooked/surprised.
OP, if you want to meet up with former acquaintances/friends, make your own account. That's step 1 and nothing will happen unless you do that. Using someone else's, you'll creep some people out- that's it. Having no friends and reaching out with your own account is 1000x better than using someone else's account.
1) Person reaches out, other person doesn't respond
2) Person reaches out, other responds, messages go back-and-forth about 3 times and end without a goodbye or suggestion to meet up/talk again
3) Person reaches out, other responds- only to get solicited for some stupid worthless pyramid scheme
Unless they were pretty good friends originally, the person who gets reached out to is usually pretty spooked/surprised.
Yes!! This is completely accurate. For me it's almost always #3, but sometimes I've had random conversations with people from years ago....nothing ever happens after that. It's always a weird, bizarre conversation.
In answer to OPs question, I am open to hearing from the people I grew up with. We may or may not have anything in common any more, but I am happy to hear that they had a nice life.
This is a nice, positive way of looking at things.
In answer to OPs question, I am open to hearing from the people I grew up with. We may or may not have anything in common any more, but I am happy to hear that they had a nice life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justNancy
This is a nice, positive way of looking at things.
When someone contacts me after several years of no contact they want something. It's almost always herbalife or some such nonsense.
I AM in touch with some childhood friends but we always maintained some level of contact thru the years. There's a big difference between that and someone who's all "Hi! How are you? It's been ages right? So do you want to make some extra money?" NOPE....I have never, not once, had someone reappear back in my life that DIDN'T want something.
Somewhat off topic, but this is why I generally ignore "Excuse me! Ma'am? Excuse me!" if someone is trying to get my attention in a parking lot, while walking along on a sidewalk, etc. 99.99% chance it is a request for money. Nope, not even wasting my time with that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusNexus
Unless we kept in touch all of these years, I have no interest in childhood friends. I'm in a far different place than I was then, and I am a far different person. Not interested in "going back around".
I realized this a few years back when I had a Facebook account. Suddenly, childhood friends I never wanted or expected to see again started showing up. I had no interest in them, and felt relieved when I closed the account.
Same here, though I still have Facebook. I initially accepted friend requests from people that I knew in high school, but ultimately unfriended anyone who hadn't been a close friend or who wasn't interacting with me. I'm not interested in being a member of someone's friend harem to pump up their friend count or just so they can see what I'm up to (nosiness).
A couple of my childhood friends and I currently live in the same area, however, we're more like friendly acquaintances than close friends now. If we see each other in the store, we'll stop and chat for a few minutes, and then be on our way. There's no offers to meet up and re-establish our past bond, because we just don't have that kind of connection anymore.
I met up with a high school friend that I hadn't seen in almost thirty years a few months ago. We didn't miss a beat. There's something about friends that you had in your developing years. I can't explain it, but it's there. I think the Stephen King movie "Stand by Me" had a perfect line about friends. If any of you have not seen that film, you should.
Maybe I've just been lucky. I've met up with three friends from " back in the day " and we all clicked. Maybe because we keep up with one another on social media, and maybe because we just had so much in common to begin with. I posted a bunch of old pictures to FB a few years back, and one of my guy friends said " Thanks. Now I have to go watch The Breakfast Club again" bwahahaha. I love those a-holes !
Last edited by NLVgal; 09-27-2016 at 04:51 AM..
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