Why do people get annoyed when you call them Sir or Ma'am (affection, senior)
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The bolded part is true in YOUR experience, but there are definitely geographical differences, as others have pointed out. Where I grew up, "ma'am" was used only for elderly women.
Here's a specific example. My sister-in-law (in her 50's) recently posted on facebook:
"Someone called me ma'am today. Must be time to get my roots touched up!"
Exactly. I believe the man you're addressing is a true Southerner: born, raised, and still living in the South.
No doubt he will argue that he's travelled extensively, has some prestigious career qualifying his opinion, etc., etc....
That's just hot air. It's not the same thing as growing up in a different region (or regions) of this country. He simply can't really and truly relate. Period.
Unless you have spent many years living in other areas of this country (and I don't mean just travel), you haven't a clue. For the majority of us who grew up elsewhere, the address is impolite. It's also considered obnoxious.
Last edited by picklejuice; 05-18-2015 at 07:22 AM..
I live in the South and this honestly drives me insane. People all the time try to correct me and tell me to call so and so "Mr" or "Sir." First of all Im 30 and will not call someone else sir, nor do I expect to be called sir. Im not a Knight nor is my wife a Lady. Secondly respect is earned, Im not going to respect my elders simply because they were born before me. I know plenty of people older than me that are complete scoundrels.
Now rant over, its just an older model of manners that luckily is dying off.
What i hate is when people say mr. adam or miss sue. Using there first name instead of their last name. I noticed this has become more prevalent.sounds completely stupid if you ask me.
In the south, those terms are considered respectful. Once you get up into the northern states, they can be considered insulting. My daughter said, "Yes ma'am" during role call on the first day of school in WA, and her teacher about had a fit. Here it's more of a sarcastic thing, "Yes, MA'AM," in a sassy tone. It isn't considered polite here, although it depends on who is saying it, and why.
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Yes, sarcasm is the other use for ma'am where I grew up. I know it's hard for some people from the south to grasp the difference. When I moved to Louisiana (lived there about 18 months before moving to Texas) I had a conversation with someone about the fact that up north, children aren't raised to say ma'am. She said, "Don't you care about manners? Doesn't it bother you that you that children up there are allowed to be so disrespectful? My momma woulda BEAT us if we ever just said Yes instead of Yes ma'am." She just couldn't grasp that ma'am does not universally convey respect.
Where I grew up (Indianapolis), two uses for ma'am: elderly and sarcasm.
Because much of that is regional - especially the "Mister Jason" or "Miss Mary" - which I cannot imagine a grown adult using toward another adult. I personally find it very awkward from anyone other than a very small child. If someone is going to address me formally, I'd prefer Miss Jones/Mrs. Jones.
I see it and get it all the time. My husband's twenty something employees that are from the south call me "Miss BlueHerons". I'm late 40s.
My 99 year old grandmother is Miss Liza to EVERYONE. Including my parents.
As a child, it was pretty much drilled into me that I should respect my elders. It seems as if everytime I try to be polite and formal to strangers by addressing them as Sir, Ma'am, Mister "Jason", or Miss, they prefer not to be addressed that way, but instead their first name. It becomes a habit that's hard to break for me.
If something like this was supposed to sound, polite, formal and professional, why do people prefer not to be addressed that way?
Nothing wrong with Sir or Ma'am, but "Miss Convextech" when I am married and 50, sounds ridiculous.
As a child, it was pretty much drilled into me that I should respect my elders. It seems as if everytime I try to be polite and formal to strangers by addressing them as Sir, Ma'am, Mister "Jason", or Miss, they prefer not to be addressed that way, but instead their first name. It becomes a habit that's hard to break for me.
If something like this was supposed to sound, polite, formal and professional, why do people prefer not to be addressed that way?
I "sir" and "ma'am" everyone. I do not refer to adults as "Mister Jason" or "Miss Mary," though. That's childish.
My nephew does call his stepmother "Miss Sally", though. I don't have much interaction with children but I do not think it's polite for a child, especially one under the age of 12, to refer to me by my first name. "Miss Jessica" or "Miss Smith" is appropriate.
As a child, it was pretty much drilled into me that I should respect my elders. It seems as if everytime I try to be polite and formal to strangers by addressing them as Sir, Ma'am, Mister "Jason", or Miss, they prefer not to be addressed that way, but instead their first name. It becomes a habit that's hard to break for me.
If something like this was supposed to sound, polite, formal and professional, why do people prefer not to be addressed that way?
I hear you. I find presumed familiarity to be off-putting on a good day, offensive on a bad, and don't want others to presume familiarity with me, especially if they're not my peers (ie., children, salespeople, servers who looked at the name on my credit card). Therefore, I don't presume familiarity with others.
However, if someone wants me to call him or her by a fist name, I oblige. It's tough for me at times, though, because I interview a lot of physicians and PhDs, and my natural way of speaking to them is to call them "Doctor."
I do not care for a host/hostess/waitress, etc. referring to my wife and I as "you guys".
I use the term "folks" before "guys".. Unless of course, it is all guys...
I am 52.
Mike G
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