Why do people get annoyed when you call them Sir or Ma'am (female, male)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's pretty clear you can't please every one which makes the case for not using labels at all.
When a waitor or waitress approaches the table it's safest just to say, Good morning or good evening, how can I help you today. Doesn't matter how many people are at the table, it solves the problem altogether. I have always made a joke of it with waitresses rather than getting upset with it. No point in making them feel uncomfortable for something that might just come naturally to them. Though I have on occasion pointed out that avoiding the last part of the greeting does eliminate the possibility of offending anyone at all. You can usually tell if a person that will take the suggestion well or not, before you even suggest it.
At the end of the day it's probably all just small stuff, but then just as a small kindness can make someone's entire day, and small intended or unintended insult can irritate the crap out of you if you are in a bad mood. LOL
I would far rather hear myself addressed as ma'am than with a phony endearment. I went to run some errands in NC for my mother today, and the cashier at Home Depot referred to the elderly woman in front of me as "sweetie", and then called me "darling". I didn't take offense, but I also didn't think it was a proper address for a stranger.
There is nothing that annoys me more than being called Miss Firstname. I understand that it is a sign of respect in certain parts of the country, and some extended family members use it all the time, but it makes me gag.
As a child, it was pretty much drilled into me that I should respect my elders. It seems as if everytime I try to be polite and formal to strangers by addressing them as Sir, Ma'am, Mister "Jason", or Miss, they prefer not to be addressed that way, but instead their first name. It becomes a habit that's hard to break for me.
If something like this was supposed to sound, polite, formal and professional, why do people prefer not to be addressed that way?
Times change. Most of us go by first names in all the different facets of our lives. I do confess that I as an obviously senior, aged 68, I really resent being addressed as 'miss.' In London, I was addressed as 'Madam.' I liked that better. I would be insulted if an adult addressed me as "Miss FirstName." It sounds OK coming from a young child, but not from an adult.
But overall, it is best to find out from the person you are dealing with what they prefer to be called. Usually it will be the first name.
There are two things that have to be taken into consideration.
1....What is acceptable in the region of the country you are in. What is expected in one area of the country, is not expected in others.
2....You social status. The higher in the social order you are in at the time, you may be expected to say Ma'am or Madam and Sir. Especially if you are working for them, or serving them, or doing business with them. They demand it as a sign of respect and your accepting the fact they are richer or whatever than you are.
I am from the west coast and now live in the south. As far as I'm concerned any grown man whose name I don't know is "sir", and any woman of "marrying age" is "ma'am" until I am introduced and find out what to call him or her. If I am trying to tell someone something what am I supposed to call him? "Hey you"? Ma'am is just the normal form of address for a married woman whose name you do not know, and sir for a man whose name you don't know. It has nothing to do with being a lord or lady unless you happen to be in the U.K.
"Excuse me sir, could I please get by?"
"Ma'am! You left your purse over here!"
There is nothing in ANY WAY insulting about using the correct form of address, except in someone's head. I find it a little silly for someone to call me, a 50+ year old woman, "Miss", but I wouldn't bother to correct them. They have no idea if I'm married or not, nor do they care. I have no objection to being called by my first name by anyone, but in a business setting where I am the customer I prefer Ms. (or Miss, or Mrs.) Shadow. I don't expect people to guess my marital status.
I would far rather hear myself addressed as ma'am than with a phony endearment. I went to run some errands in NC for my mother today, and the cashier at Home Depot referred to the elderly woman in front of me as "sweetie", and then called me "darling". I didn't take offense, but I also didn't think it was a proper address for a stranger.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.