People that volunteer you to do things

[sansea]

Busy-body aunts can be such a nuicense.

When something like that happens, just smile... and get auntie out of the room.

Then say to grandmama, "Is this something you would really like me to do, or would you rather I visit with you?"

Older people genuinely need help in their homes, and it would be lovely of you to sincerely ask her when she's alone with you what she needs help with. One day you'll wish you could.

Then when the busy-body-auntie comes along, you can say that you've already made plans with grandma, and you're sure auntie "can manage just fine" without you.

Of course, if you're a lazy one, or reluctant to offer help, then people could try to enroll you because you irritate them.

Only you know for sure where the truth lies.

[rosebyanothername]

Originally Posted by rentalwarrior

I'm laughing because my grandma is always complaining about her house lol. She's convinced it's dirty when it's honestly not. They were actually both commiserating about how "dirty" their houses are and that's when my aunt volunteered us.

And no, on my vacation days I would rather not clean lol. Just my preference. Oh, and my grandma and I both do a lot for each other. This last time I paid for dinner and she had bought me a new comforter for my new house. She doesn't care if I clean her house. She normally prefers to do it on her own, to be honest because she knows how she likes the place according to her. I was more annoyed with my aunt because she spoke for me and I was wondering the reason behind her doing that.

So yes, I'm a jerky granddaughter :P Geez. Surely this has happened to someone else!

This would have been the perfect opportunity for you and you missed it.....
All you had to say was, "Gee, Aunt (such-and-such), I know that grandma feels strongly about cleaning her house on her own because she has expressed to me that she knows how she likes the place. I really didn't come prepared to clean her house. Now, Grandma, do you want me to help you clean your house and if so, can we plan on doing it the next time I come to see you?" (And I would smile sweetly over at the aunt after this has been said.)

Now, if you really do not want to help her clean her home, then you can leave out the last two sentences. Your aunt, although well intentioned probably, is somewhat of a well intentioned control freak. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to be controlled by someone else. If it happens one time, that is one thing. However, it is my own personal experience, that once you let someone like this get away with it once, they will continue to do it. It will then get harder to be assertive, and if you are able to, it may be when you are fed up, angry and end up in a confrontation.
I am one who believes that it is a very good thing to help others who need our help....and especially elderly people and even more so elderly relatives. I helped a friend move some furniture recently because I am just like that. The furniture was very heavy, and I probably had no business moving it because I have a bad back and am not a young 'un. It is a good thing when we want to do it and decide to do it either on our own or if the person needing it done asks us directly. It is very rude and thoughtless to have another person volunteer our services.