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Growing up, I always just called adults by their first name.
It's just more logical IMO. What if you don't know a woman's marital status? What if there are two Mr. Kings (eg, relatives)? Who gets to be Mr. King #1 or Mr. King #2? Do they draw numbers out of hat? Rock paper scissors? Can I make a nod to Star Trek and call one of them Number One?
Forget that mess. Call them Mike and Ted. They're given names for a reason.
I grew up in the 70's/80's in Canada in a culturally Caribbean household. All close friends of my parents were Auntie and Uncle First Name. All other adults were Mr and Mrs Last Name. Most of my close friends' kids call me Auntie First Name even if that's not the norm in their culture (mostly pretty casual NYers). This is at their parents' insistence, not mine but I rather like it.
We moved to the south 2 years ago and just about every child under 16 addresses my husband and I as Mr First Name and Ms First Name with no encouragement from us. I find it very polite but a little less friendly/familiar than the Auntie and Uncle designation.
Growing up, I always just called adults by their first name.
It's just more logical IMO. What if you don't know a woman's marital status? What if there are two Mr. Kings (eg, relatives)? Who gets to be Mr. King #1 or Mr. King #2? Do they draw numbers out of hat? Rock paper scissors? Can I make a nod to Star Trek and call one of them Number One?
Forget that mess. Call them Mike and Ted. They're given names for a reason.
My question is how did you even know their first names? When my children's friends came over my children called us Mom and Dad and we introduced ourselves as Ms. Last Name & Mr. Last Name. How in the world would the children even know our first names?
Just because our adult parents called our adult neighbors by their first names it would never have occurred to me or my siblings as a child at age five or ten or fifteen to call an adult by their first name. It wasn't until I was married & had children and started to interact with my parent's adult friends as an adult myself AND they asked my to call them by their first name that I ever used it. I am 63 years old and I still call several friends of my late parents Mrs. Palmer and Mr. Johnson because that is what they prefer.
I bet as an adult you call your dentist John instead of Dr. Smith, your priest Bob instead of Father Jones, your local police officer Jim instead of Officer Kennedy, your child's teacher as Betty instead of Mrs. Franklin, the BIG boss at your job Barney instead of Mr. Chandler and your Mayor Mary instead of Mayor Mongan.
Or do you use Dr., Father, Officer, Mrs., Mr. and Mayor in those situations?
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-21-2015 at 09:34 PM..
I grew up in Europe and I addressed people by Mr. & Mrs with surname.How things have changed now it is eh or hi or by first name. But in my husbands culture they still address us as uncle and auntie even if we are not related. I guess I am old fashioned and I like the respect they give to us.
I grew up in the 60s and 70s the the US. We called all adults "Mr. and Mrs or Miss" - parent's friends, neighbors, friend's parents etc.
Relatives who were adults were always addressed by a title - Aunt, Uncle, Tante, - never by their first names.
My nieces and nephews all address us as "Aunt" and Uncle". We don't think it is overly formal or old fashioned - we think that it is special and it shows respect and closeness.
My children's (18 - 21) friends call us by our first names. We are mine with that. However, I a, glad that our family members use the traditional names.
Ma'am, Sir and Miss are not used in our region of the US.
Growing up, I always just called adults by their first name.
It's just more logical IMO. What if you don't know a woman's marital status? What if there are two Mr. Kings (eg, relatives)? Who gets to be Mr. King #1 or Mr. King #2? Do they draw numbers out of hat? Rock paper scissors? Can I make a nod to Star Trek and call one of them Number One?
Forget that mess. Call them Mike and Ted. They're given names for a reason.
That's exactly what I think.
Adults call each other by their first names, so why not children? We're all human.
In WA it's by first names, which I LOATHE. I do not want some 3 year old calling me by my first name, it seems disrespectful to me.
What's the difference between a 3 year old calling you by your first name or a 33 year old? They're both humans, just in different stages of life. You're wasting your energy being mad at this.
They introduce themselves with their first name, thereby signifying to the child how they would like to be addressed. We have an older neighbor lady (a southerner, to boot) who introduced herself to my kids as Miss ___, and that is what my kids have called her ever since, because the understood that is how she would like to be addressed. All of the other adults have introduced themselves by first name, and that is how the kids address them; it's the social norm here and not considered the slightest bit untoward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
My question is how did you even know their first names? When my children's friends came over my children called us Mom and Dad and we introduced ourselves as Ms. Last Name & Mr. Last Name. How in the world would the children even know our first names?
Just because our adult parents called our adult neighbors by their first names it would never have occurred to me or my siblings as a child at age five or ten or fifteen to call an adult by their first name. It wasn't until I was married & had children and started to interact with my parent's adult friends as an adult myself AND they asked my to call them by their first name that I ever used it. I am 63 years old and I still call several friends of my late parents Mrs. Palmer and Mr. Johnson because that is what they prefer.
I bet as an adult you call your dentist John instead of Dr. Smith, your priest Bob instead of Father Jones, your local police officer Jim instead of Officer Kennedy, your child's teacher as Betty instead of Mrs. Franklin, the BIG boss at your job Barney instead of Mr. Chandler and your Mayor Mary instead of Mayor Mongan.
Or do you use Dr., Father, Officer, Mrs., Mr. and Mayor in those situations?
The polite thing to do is to address people the way they want to be addressed. I don't mind if my children call adults Mr. Smith, Mr. Tom, or just Tom, if that's what the adult prefers. But I also think it's better to start off more formally. We always taught our children to call adults Mr/Ms So-and-so. If that person then said, "Oh, call me Joe," then they did so. No problem. But most of the time the adults seemed to prefer Mr/Ms Lastname.
I worked with children (as a sports coach) for years. When I was a teen and in my early 20s, I never batted an eye when preschoolers called me by my first name. But some time in my mid-20s I started to feel uncomfortable about 4-year-olds calling me "Sue," so I switched to "Coach Sue." I can't put my finger on it, but it just felt more appropriate.
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