how can a person love you if they do nothing for you

[huma281]

Originally Posted by Lilac110

The one time I ever asked for help, in what was arguably the darkest, most despairing time of my life, when I was completely alone? She said I was weak and deserved everything that was happening to me.

If I ever see that C U Next Tuesday again, I will spit right in her face.

Sounds like she's jealous of your success.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by peter921

if people respect you and love you so much then where is the love ?

Unfortunately, for some people, the love of money and time takes precedence.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by Lodestar

Interesting question. Is love a behavior or a feeling?

I think it's a feeling, but behavior supports it.

[Jay100]

Originally Posted by peter921

tough love? i dont think so, they would not help me if i got kicked out or if i needed something to help myself. they would not do anything, my sisters literally would do nothing at all for me even when i was in need. if they knew what i needed they would not help me, i had a mental illness problem and i was alone man alone at the WRONG TIME

I can't think of one relative who wouldn't help me if I really needed help. That's just not how our fam rolls.
Unless somebody is a huge f up, trouble maker, and/or a threat in any way, I just don't see rejection happening. Are you sure you're not doing something to pizzz people off?

[corgifreak]

There has to be more to this story. What was the situation, and what specifically did you want them to do for you? Have they ever helped you in the past?

Some people are selfish, even family, and only help when they think they'll get something in return (and sometimes not even then ).

[Lilac110]

Originally Posted by huma281

Sounds like she's jealous of your success.

She is. I make more money than she does--because unlike her, I didn't drink and screw my way through high school and end up knocked up at 18, married at 19, and divorced at 24 with two small kinds in tow. I haven't had half the man problems she's had--because unlike her, I didn't date separated man after separated man for years on end expecting them to finalize their divorces and then watch them all go back to their wives.

And as one person so astutely pointed out in a rep comment, she's a bitter ingrate, too.

You know why I deserved what was happening to me? Because my parents gave me a 10-speed bike for my 13th birthday and she didn't get one. Never mind that they gave me the 10-speed because I was riding around on her old Schwinn with the banana seat circa 1968 and that bike was the first major thing that wasn't a hand-me-down from one of my siblings. Everything up until that point--bed, bedroom furniture, toys, stereo, even a good bit of clothing--was once theirs. I got to go to Europe on one of those "five countries in 10 days" tours in high school. Never mind that the trip was paid for with inheritance from my grandfather, the same inheritance through which she received a cash equivalent and his car. Apparently it was my turn to have problems because I "never had any" before. Never mind that she gladly accepted a brand-new car from the eldest (the malignant narcissist). Never mind that her whole life, everyone was there to buy her things, take her places, etc., because she "had the kids" and was such a sacrificing mother.

The best part of this? She's 58 years old. I'm 48. She is still carrying crap around from when I was 13 and she was 23.

Oh, and she asked me where I was when she was newly separated with her two kids in tow, as though at age 13, I should have somehow been there to help her in some way.

She's on husband #3. Looking at his Facebook page, my guess is he's in recovery from alcoholism. All I can say is that being married to her is going to test his sobriety.