Mom always criticizes my appearance and hates my glasses! (member, present, gatherings)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wasn't sure whether I should post this in Non-Romantic Relationships or Fashion and Beauty, but I settled for F&B. Anyway, my mom is always criticizing my appearance. I wear clean clothes that fit well, practice good hygiene, wear a little bit of makeup, etc., but that's never good enough for her. She especially hates my glasses. They aren't huge or thick or anything like that, but she just hates the fact that I wear glasses because she thinks they make me look older and nerdy (I'm in my early 30s). I usually don't wear my glasses when I go on dates, but I wear them at work, at home, and pretty much any other time because I see better with them. She doesn't want me wearing them at family gatherings which really annoys me because I don't understand why I need to look so hot for my extended relatives. Who CARES what they think? She seems to think my looks represent her and she acts like she's embarrassed to be seen with me unless my looks are up to her standards which I think is pretty sad. They're just glasses! One of my cousins asked me to go on a double date with her- I already knew that I had ZERO interest in the guy, but I was just going to go because my cousin really wanted me to go, and I don't get to hang out with her that often. So I tell my mom about it and she goes, "Well, I hope you make an effort to look good when you go out with them." I said, "I'm not even the least bit interested in this guy and I'm going to look the way I look all the time. If that isn't good enough, too bad!" lol Gosh, she's annoying!
Does anyone else get criticized for stupid stuff like this?
I've gotten a few "Is that what you're wearing?" as a teenager when I chose something wrinkled or too tight or something, or a remark if I needed to brush my hair, but nothing that I can recall in the way of criticism about not being pretty or attractive enough. That's pretty thoughtless of your mom, but I bet she is like that in many areas of life. Does she act hurt if you admonish her and tell you she is just trying to help?
I've gotten a few "Is that what you're wearing?" as a teenager when I chose something wrinkled or too tight or something, or a remark if I needed to brush my hair, but nothing that I can recall in the way of criticism about not being pretty or attractive enough. That's pretty thoughtless of your mom, but I bet she is like that in many areas of life. Does she act hurt if you admonish her and tell you she is just trying to help?
No, she's not the type that would be hurt because she believes she's always right. I've told her many times that I'm fine with the way I look so I'm not worried about what anyone else thinks, yet she continues to make comments, so I don't think she'll ever stop.
I wasn't sure whether I should post this in Non-Romantic Relationships or Fashion and Beauty, but I settled for F&B. Anyway, my mom is always criticizing my appearance. I wear clean clothes that fit well, practice good hygiene, wear a little bit of makeup, etc., but that's never good enough for her. She especially hates my glasses. They aren't huge or thick or anything like that, but she just hates the fact that I wear glasses because she thinks they make me look older and nerdy (I'm in my early 30s). I usually don't wear my glasses when I go on dates, but I wear them at work, at home, and pretty much any other time because I see better with them. She doesn't want me wearing them at family gatherings which really annoys me because I don't understand why I need to look so hot for my extended relatives. Who CARES what they think? She seems to think my looks represent her and she acts like she's embarrassed to be seen with me unless my looks are up to her standards which I think is pretty sad. They're just glasses! One of my cousins asked me to go on a double date with her- I already knew that I had ZERO interest in the guy, but I was just going to go because my cousin really wanted me to go, and I don't get to hang out with her that often. So I tell my mom about it and she goes, "Well, I hope you make an effort to look good when you go out with them." I said, "I'm not even the least bit interested in this guy and I'm going to look the way I look all the time. If that isn't good enough, too bad!" lol Gosh, she's annoying!
Does anyone else get criticized for stupid stuff like this?
Yes. OP, your mom has a problem, probably not news to you. She sounds narcissistic, in that she identifies with your appearance and considers it a reflection of her. Narcissists often have no boundaries between them and their family members; their minds cause them to see their kids as extensions of themselves, rather than as separate individuals. It's an illness, but it's surprisingly common. Especially between moms and daughters.
As for glasses, they can be cool! I like to get jiggy with them, and pick out-of-the-ordinary designs. A few are available remarkably cheaply, others are expensive, but you can pick them up at half price when there's a sale, or a close-out.
Sorry you have this to deal with. Do you live at home? Look forward to the day you can move out, and when you do, keep contact to a minimum.
Yes. OP, your mom has a problem, probably not news to you. She sounds narcissistic, in that she identifies with your appearance and considers it a reflection of her. Narcissists often have no boundaries between them and their family members; their minds cause them to see their kids as extensions of themselves, rather than as separate individuals. It's an illness, but it's surprisingly common. Especially between moms and daughters.
As for glasses, they can be cool! I like to get jiggy with them, and pick out-of-the-ordinary designs. A few are available remarkably cheaply, others are expensive, but you can pick them up at half price when there's a sale, or a close-out.
Sorry you have this to deal with. Do you live at home? Look forward to the day you can move out, and when you do, keep contact to a minimum.
Every time I see my mother, she always making comments about how skinny I am and I would look much better with belly
Can we get a pic with your glasses on, sugar?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She seems to think my looks represent her and she acts like she's embarrassed to be seen with me unless my looks are up to her standards which I think is pretty sad. They're just glasses! One of my cousins asked me to go on a double date with her- I already knew that I had ZERO interest in the guy, but I was just going to go because my cousin really wanted me to go, and I don't get to hang out with her that often. So I tell my mom about it and she goes, "Well, I hope you make an effort to look good when you go out with them." I said, "I'm not even the least bit interested in this guy and I'm going to look the way I look all the time. If that isn't good enough, too bad!" lol Gosh, she's annoying! 
