Should I reach out again?? (father, siblings, member, relatives)
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I reached out to my biological fathers family 2 weeks ago. My biological father has passed, and he never knew I existed. Anyway, I spoke with my uncle and the conversation went really good! He thanked me repeatedly for not giving up on trying to find him. He told me he loved me at the end of the conversation and said that he would call me back.
I haven't heard from him. I tried calling today. The suspense of not knowing if he is going to call or not is driving me insane. Anyways the phone just rang and rang, I wasn't able to leave a message as I have done before.
My question is - should I try to reach out to my other uncle or should I just let it go. I really had high hopes of having a relationship with my family and getting to know my real dad through them. I don't know if the uncle I have spoken to, has told the rest of the family or not. I don't know if I have siblings, or how my dad died, I know NOTHING!!
If it were me I would try again. He could be sick, on vacation, or just out when you happened to call. I would not assume he is not wanting to talk to me --yet. If there is no answering machine, you may not be able to talk to him if he is not picking up. (My mom does not have a message machine and even though I have gotten her one in the past, she hated it and didn't use it).
If you have his address you can write him a brief message letting him know it was a pleasure talking to him and you look forward to hopefully talking and meeting him and other family members in the future. Supply him with your address, email, and other info so he can contact you. If he chooses not to, at least you did all you could on your end and it is on his conscious if he doesn't follow through.
That is really all you can do besides try and find out more relatives going by your dad's and your uncles names. Good luck. I hope you are able to connect with your family members.
letout,
What did you talk about with your Uncle then? Didn't you ask him all those questions about your father?
I don't understand.
No, I wouldn't call him again.
If you left him your information to get in contact with you, he makes the next
move, not you.
Do some research on your own as far as how your father died.
There is no reason why you would have to talk to anyone in the family.
Sometimes people don't feel the way you think they should, but that is OK.
That is the way life is sometimes.
letout,
What did you talk about with your Uncle then? Didn't you ask him all those questions about your father?
I don't understand.
No, I wouldn't call him again.
If you left him your information to get in contact with you, he makes the next
move, not you.
Do some research on your own as far as how your father died.
There is no reason why you would have to talk to anyone in the family.
Sometimes people don't feel the way you think they should, but that is OK.
That is the way life is sometimes.
I have tried to find an obituary for him - I'm unable to find one. I am able to purchase his death certificate, but was waiting because I feel like I should get these answers from a family member.
When I first spoke with my uncle - it was a 7 minute conversation - it went so fast. I didn't really have time to ask many questions.
If it were me I would try again. He could be sick, on vacation, or just out when you happened to call. I would not assume he is not wanting to talk to me --yet. If there is no answering machine, you may not be able to talk to him if he is not picking up. (My mom does not have a message machine and even though I have gotten her one in the past, she hated it and didn't use it).
If you have his address you can write him a brief message letting him know it was a pleasure talking to him and you look forward to hopefully talking and meeting him and other family members in the future. Supply him with your address, email, and other info so he can contact you. If he chooses not to, at least you did all you could on your end and it is on his conscious if he doesn't follow through.
That is really all you can do besides try and find out more relatives going by your dad's and your uncles names. Good luck. I hope you are able to connect with your family members.
I was able to leave a message for him before on the same number, that's when it just rang, I was a little confused.
I do have his address. I chose to just send him an email a little bit ago. I was asking him about siblings, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and if they knew about me. I also asked if him or the others were even interested in knowing me. And if they wasn't I understood, but just needed to know. His response was very short "hey, sis - here is a picture of your dad. Enjoy and more to come." That's it!! He left me with all these unanswered questions still!
I do have a number and address for my other uncle, but I'm unsure if he knows about me....I would like that he does know. But, IDK - maybe I should just leave it alone.
I was able to leave a message for him before on the same number, that's when it just rang, I was a little confused.
I do have his address. I chose to just send him an email a little bit ago. I was asking him about siblings, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and if they knew about me. I also asked if him or the others were even interested in knowing me. And if they wasn't I understood, but just needed to know. His response was very short "hey, sis - here is a picture of your dad. Enjoy and more to come." That's it!! He left me with all these unanswered questions still!
I do have a number and address for my other uncle, but I'm unsure if he knows about me....I would like that he does know. But, IDK - maybe I should just leave it alone.
Also puzzled by this, unless "Sis" is your nickname.
This email does sound encouraging, but it also sounds as if it was sent in haste by someone who was very busy with other things. Perhaps your uncle has been dealing with a work deadline, or something else which take precedence over corresponding with you. Give it a bit more time.
So - thank your uncle for the picture, and tell him you are looking forward to learning more. Then - be patient.
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