Texting and I.M. etiquette - goodbye or silence? (person, messages, conversation)
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I don't text a lot, I don't use instant messenger that much, but lately have been using [mod[edit[/mod]another messenger. I do find myself wondering what is a conversation and what isn't, and when one drops out of that conversation, is it normal to just disappear and not respond to any more messages till a few days/hours later, or is it expected to say 'Ok, I have to finish my shopping now as I am standing at the cash..."
I know a lot depends on who is in the conversation and what it's about.. But if one person feels like it's a dedicated conversation that will last a few minutes, and the other feels it's just random messages and they're talking to 6 other people at the same time, I see why a farewell message would not seem necessary.
So I guess my question is - when does a text message change into a conversation, and would you personally feel obliged to give it a proper ending? Do you have friends who leave you hanging wondering if there is more to say or whether you can step away from the pc or phone or tablet if the gap of no messages has exceeded a certain time?
Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-26-2015 at 05:37 PM..
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I don't text a lot, I don't use instant messenger that much, but lately have been using FB messenger. I do find myself wondering what is a conversation and what isn't, and when one drops out of that conversation, is it normal to just disappear and not respond to any more messages till a few days/hours later, or is it expected to say 'Ok, I have to finish my shopping now as I am standing at the cash..."
I know a lot depends on who is in the conversation and what it's about.. But if one person feels like it's a dedicated conversation that will last a few minutes, and the other feels it's just random messages and they're talking to 6 other people at the same time, I see why a farewell message would not seem necessary.
So I guess my question is - when does a text message change into a conversation, and would you personally feel obliged to give it a proper ending? Do you have friends who leave you hanging wondering if there is more to say or whether you can step away from the pc or phone or tablet if the gap of no messages has exceeded a certain time?
Depends totally on who you're talking to and your relationship with them. If it's someone I don't talk to much, a goodbye or talk to you later is much more common than if it's two close friends talking.
Either way, don't read too much into it. The whole point of IM/text vs a voice call is that you can come and go and reply at your leisure. With how much I used to make quick facebook checks in college, I'd often carry a convo over an entire day with only 5-10 total messages exchanged.
If it's a formal conversation that's based on catching up with someone, normal conversation etiquette would be more appropriate (staying at the computer, saying goodbye) whereas if it's nonformal with someone you talk to often, the interaction will be less structured and will be more fragmented over time. Friends often send things to me with "hey look at this!" or just a video/article, and I'll check it out without even replying, and we'll talk about it later.
No matter what, if someone takes the time to reply to me multiple times, them not giving the talk a "proper ending" isn't going to ruin it. If you can still talk, don't say goodbye.
Regardless, it all depends on who you're talking to.
The line seems to be blurring between email and instant messenger. I used to enjoy the freedom of just sending someone an email, that they could respond to at their leisure, within a day or two or three. Now, some email programs convert to instant messenger, and you can see whether it's been 'seen' or not. Sometimes I want to respond without being 'caught' or trapped into a dedicated conversation. I suppose it also depends on age. I'm in my late 50s and my kids are still rolling their eyes at our landline. lol. My mother on the other hand, would be apt to start a text message with Dear Linda, and end it with Yours sincerely (each message).
If one is having a back-and-forth conversation, whether it is in person, on the phone, or by text, the polite thing to do when ending it is to properly end it, not just leave it hanging. Actually, I think this is even more important when texting, because, unlike the other forms of communication I mentioned, when texting one cannot see or hear what the other person is doing.
I do both and people have done both to me. Sometimes it's a bummer when I'm having a nice conversation and the person vanishes but, eh. What can ya do?
I have a couple friends that text me regularly and it seems that they ALWAYS have to get the last word in. I text "Gotta go, real busy" and they text back "You free later?" I reply "after 4" and a second later "BING" and a smiley-face or "Ok" pops on my screen. Drives me absolutely nuts.
I don't text a lot, I don't use instant messenger that much, but lately have been using FB messenger. I do find myself wondering what is a conversation and what isn't, and when one drops out of that conversation, is it normal to just disappear and not respond to any more messages till a few days/hours later, or is it expected to say 'Ok, I have to finish my shopping now as I am standing at the cash..."
I know a lot depends on who is in the conversation and what it's about.. But if one person feels like it's a dedicated conversation that will last a few minutes, and the other feels it's just random messages and they're talking to 6 other people at the same time, I see why a farewell message would not seem necessary.
So I guess my question is - when does a text message change into a conversation, and would you personally feel obliged to give it a proper ending? Do you have friends who leave you hanging wondering if there is more to say or whether you can step away from the pc or phone or tablet if the gap of no messages has exceeded a certain time?
If the conversation is at an end as far as I'm concerned, I just text OK. I do like to signal that I've read the message, so I text OK a lot. I might also text Thanks or Great! or some other simple end to the conversation. Then I am not obligated to keep communicating back. I wouldn't do this if discussing something important, and unresolved though.
I would never end one without at lest typing the letter "b" , for "bye", if the conversation has obviously wound down, or somethng like "gtg" for leaving suddenly.. If the other person did something similar, I would consider etiquette to have been met.
Well I wish I knew. I've noticed if I go blank, people seem to ignore me for a while
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