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I had some friends of my gf over and we grilled in the back yard. It was the first time we had them over. It was a family with 2 kids.
There "reaction" was something I hadn't experienced before in any setting, whether it was food I prepared or a gathering some place else.
The mom of the family said how one of her relatives makes one of the dishes really well. Then proceeded to say how it could be improved. The daughter said she didn't like BBQs, so ate nothing. Overall, most of the food wasn't eaten. We aren't bad cooks. We cook a lot from scratch and the normal reaction would be compliments (maybe some of those are to be polite?).
It felt like a waste of effort. I decided just to not invite them over again or if we must they will get food with little effort, like frozen pizza.
If you had people like this over again, what would you do to feed them?
I wouldn't be in any hurry to extend another invitation. But if I did get an invitation, and frozen pizza was on the menu, I wouldn't rush back either. I'd at least do takeout.
When we have friends over for the first time, I usually offer up a choice of entrees with the invitation. There's no sense in making fish if nobody likes it. But your guests sound pretty rude. It's hard not to find something you like out of typical BBQ menus.
Your guests are just rude - it's not even a matter of being a picky eater in this case, it's a matter of them being unappreciative jerks. What does your GF say about this behavior? Was she surprised or is it fairly normal for them?
When I have people over for the first time, I make a variety of things to try and ensure everyone will have at least something to eat - and of course, if I'm made aware of a particular allergy or strong aversion to a food, I'll note that and adjust my plans accordingly.
It's your job, OP, to be a polite host and provide food for your guests - it is NOT your job to try and anticipate every whim and rude comment of your guests, much less have to listen to criticism of the food you prepared.
I wouldn't invite them over again, if it was my choice - but if another invitation was necessary, I'd actually put the burden on my GF to figure out a menu that works for them. They're her friends, presumably she's eaten with them before and has an idea of what to feed them.
I wouldn't be in any hurry to extend another invitation. But if I did get an invitation, and frozen pizza was on the menu, I wouldn't rush back either. I'd at least do takeout.
When we have friends over for the first time, I usually offer up a choice of entrees with the invitation. There's no sense in making fish if nobody likes it. But your guests sound pretty rude. It's hard not to find something you like out of typical BBQ menus.
Yeah, frozen pizza might be too much in the other direction. There's no hurry to invite them again. I wouldn't do most take out since that usually ends up costing more than cooking at home and I don't want to cater to their pickiness, just make entertaining them take less effort and same or less cost.
Your guests are just rude - it's not even a matter of being a picky eater in this case, it's a matter of them being unappreciative jerks. What does your GF say about this behavior? Was she surprised or is it fairly normal for them?
When I have people over for the first time, I make a variety of things to try and ensure everyone will have at least something to eat - and of course, if I'm made aware of a particular allergy or strong aversion to a food, I'll note that and adjust my plans accordingly.
It's your job, OP, to be a polite host and provide food for your guests - it is NOT your job to try and anticipate every whim and rude comment of your guests, much less have to listen to criticism of the food you prepared.
I wouldn't invite them over again, if it was my choice - but if another invitation was necessary, I'd actually put the burden on my GF to figure out a menu that works for them. They're her friends, presumably she's eaten with them before and has an idea of what to feed them.
No, she wasn't surprised. Her reaction is that is just how they are. I'm not going to invite them. But I won't tell my gf they can't come over. Yeah, I think it's going to be on my gf to feed them.
I know they are rude. If they come over again and they critique my gf's food, I'm going to say something about how I noticed that they often do that and I wonder why no one else I know does that.
Yup, for some guests a little pre-party intel on their diet is helpful.
There's so many folks these days that aren't eating one thing or another that it's hard to actually feed them. We have a pair of vegetarians who visit occasionally and I've still not figured out quite what exactly their food rules are. One will eat cheese, but only if it's goat cheese, the other one won't eat cheese but will eat eggs, but only if they are eggs from happy chickens. I hand her the hen to pet and then she will eat the eggs. Both of them will eat Korean BBQ take out (with tofu instead of meat) but neither one of them really seems to eat very many vegetables. When they visit, the first thing we do is go to the grocery and I just let them feed themselves.
Your guests were rude, but maybe they didn't know it. Perhaps the one trying to "improve" your recipe was honestly trying to be helpful. Some people even with the best hearts do that sort of thing and don't quite get that it's rude.
If those people were over again, I'd opt for a smorgasbord buffet sort of affair. An assortment of breads, condiments, and sandwich fixings and let them put together their own sandwiches. Maybe several soups, salad fixings and let them make their own salads. Chips and dips, veggie platter, potato salad, coleslaw, etc. Coffee & assorted teas, hot and cold. Of course, that's too much food for six people so invite a few more. Also then maybe you'd get better guests and perhaps your GFs friends could learn better manners.
If you had people like this over again, what would you do to feed them?
Telling you how to improve your food? They sound pretty rude, I don't blame you for not inviting them again. But usually, if I'm inviting someone over I don't know very well, I ask them what they like, or at least ask, "I'm thinking of making (X), do you and your family eat this?". These days, I always have to ask if anyone has any food allergies or intolerances anyway, so you might as well ask about preference while you're at it. My brother has Celiac, my dad and I have IBS and lactose intolerance, and my husband has Crohn's, so I'm always aware of dietary requirements and always ask first.
Yup, for some guests a little pre-party intel on their diet is helpful.
There's so many folks these days that aren't eating one thing or another that it's hard to actually feed them. We have a pair of vegetarians who visit occasionally and I've still not figured out quite what exactly their food rules are. One will eat cheese, but only if it's goat cheese, the other one won't eat cheese but will eat eggs, but only if they are eggs from happy chickens. I hand her the hen to pet and then she will eat the eggs. Both of them will eat Korean BBQ take out (with tofu instead of meat) but neither one of them really seems to eat very many vegetables. When they visit, the first thing we do is go to the grocery and I just let them feed themselves.
Your guests were rude, but maybe they didn't know it. Perhaps the one trying to "improve" your recipe was honestly trying to be helpful. Some people even with the best hearts do that sort of thing and don't quite get that it's rude.
If those people were over again, I'd opt for a smorgasbord buffet sort of affair. An assortment of breads, condiments, and sandwich fixings and let them put together their own sandwiches. Maybe several soups, salad fixings and let them make their own salads. Chips and dips, veggie platter, potato salad, coleslaw, etc. Coffee & assorted teas, hot and cold. Of course, that's too much food for six people so invite a few more. Also then maybe you'd get better guests and perhaps your GFs friends could learn better manners.
I asked my gf for suggestions. We went with what she said, then I added another meat.
I wouldn't bend over backwards to expand the menu times 3 make them happy. Just looking for minimal effort and cost to do the hosting job, if it comes up again. I'd do sandwiches alone (3 meats and 2 cheeses), chips and drinks.
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