U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Covid-19 Information Page
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,396 posts, read 3,480,384 times
Reputation: 2234

Advertisements

So I have a pretty close friend turning 40 next month.

I had asked her a few months ago (maybe 2) if she planned on doing something for her bday and she said she was undecided. I told her back then to definitely let me know (sooner rather than later) as soon as she decides as I would definitely be travelling for work (and possibly having my own week of vacation traveling) around the time of her bday.

Well she calls me last week to say she did decide to throw a party for her bday in North Carolina (I live in Chicago).

It turns out I am definitely travelling to Europe for work on next week, then taking off a week vacation directly after to go to Rome since its pretty much a free trip to Europe. I'm just a tad bit annoyed as now flights to Raleigh are close to $300...her party is a themed party which requires a new(ish) costume, so I estimate the trip will cost approx. $450 all in including a gift to her, etc.

She's a pretty close friend and I really really want to go but I feel 4 weeks before a themed 40th bday party isn't enough time to expect friends from all over to fly out to North Carolina. Am I being unreasonable??
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:11 AM
 
10,194 posts, read 7,821,349 times
Reputation: 24030
Only a problem if she insisting you go. Just don't go if it's a problem. Send a card. I think a month is plenty of time to plan ahead for a party. Now if you skip it and she gets upset, that's another story.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:15 AM
 
16,719 posts, read 16,065,032 times
Reputation: 41285
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
Am I being unreasonable??
Yes. You told her you would come, and she called you with a month's notice.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,396 posts, read 3,480,384 times
Reputation: 2234
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Only a problem if she insisting you go. Just don't go if it's a problem. Send a card. I think a month is plenty of time to plan ahead for a party. Now if you skip it and she gets upset, that's another story.
Maybe I 'am' being unreasonable then. I personally would want to give people a minimum of 2 months notice if it involved flight costs and a themed party that general requires a purchase of some type of costume. Then again, I don't feel I have a lot of (maybe not many) friends that can spend $400-$500 on 4 weeks notice for a birthday party.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,396 posts, read 3,480,384 times
Reputation: 2234
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Yes. You told her you would come, and she called you with a month's notice.
Let me clarify. I did not say I would come. What I told her was that I had my one personal vacation planned for the end of Sept/beginning of Oct. And would have to travel for work around the same time. So what I said was...please give me as much notice as possible because the travel I've already planned is very close to her birthday date if she plans to do a party. Meaning if I have enough notice I may be able to go.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
5,773 posts, read 6,214,711 times
Reputation: 15130
I do think a month's notice is sufficient but if it puts a strain on your finances and ability to take the time off from work, then I would suggest that you decline.

FWIW, I just glanced at flights (using Google Flights) from Chicago to Raleigh on a random weekend in October and the cost was $184 round trip.

What is the theme of the party?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
8,224 posts, read 4,679,333 times
Reputation: 20759
Quote:
Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan View Post
She's a pretty close friend and I really really want to go but I feel 4 weeks before a themed 40th bday party isn't enough time to expect friends from all over to fly out to North Carolina. Am I being unreasonable??
Are most/all of the guests people who live out of state? If so, then a month is kind of cutting it close for providing notice. On the other hand, are you the only guest who would be flying in? Then maybe she just wasn't quite thinking about the logistics on your end.

Either way, the answer on what to do is simple. If it is within your budget to attend, then do so. If it isn't, then don't.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,396 posts, read 3,480,384 times
Reputation: 2234
Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan View Post
I do think a month's notice is sufficient but if it puts a strain on your finances and ability to take the time off from work, then I would suggest that you decline.

FWIW, I just glanced at flights (using Google Flights) from Chicago to Raleigh on a random weekend in October and the cost was $184 round trip.

What is the theme of the party?
Well part of the issue is I can't take the low $184 flights in. I don't get off until the evening.

It's a Great Gatsby theme. If I make it there in time, the night before is dinner and a party at a club/lounge. Then the 'grand'/themed party is on a Saturday night.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,396 posts, read 3,480,384 times
Reputation: 2234
I will stop being a complainypants and just book the flight. From my point of view I wanted to know sooner for various reasons...going to NC for 24 hours for the amount I will drop going there is within my budget, but when I consider it'll be one day there it's a bit much to drop that amount.

But it's her 40th and she is my close friend so I guess I am being the unreasonable one.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-15-2015, 11:32 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,396 posts, read 3,480,384 times
Reputation: 2234
Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
Are most/all of the guests people who live out of state? If so, then a month is kind of cutting it close for providing notice. On the other hand, are you the only guest who would be flying in? Then maybe she just wasn't quite thinking about the logistics on your end.

Either way, the answer on what to do is simple. If it is within your budget to attend, then do so. If it isn't, then don't.
I honestly don't know how many others are flying in...
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top