How do I master the poker face? (father, person, business)
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I've often been described as someone who wears her heart on her sleeve (others often mention that they can tell when i'm sad, happy, excited, pensive etc) This is not a bad thing when i'm in the presence of supportive, well- intentioned people. However, it's a horrible thing around toxic people - especially at work.
I have a potentially tough meeting coming up at work; it is going to be with the most toxic people in the place (who have been trying so hard to build a case against me). Therefore, I NEED to come off as composed, calm, , emotionally NEUTRAL and above it all/unfazed.
So how does a fairly emotional/animated person like me master the art of the poker face?
Concentrate on what your face feels like in various expressions and practice relaxing your facial muscles completely. Put on a serene face in the mirror and really pay attention to what it feels like in your forehead, cheeks, and mouth. You still have all the emotions, but with mindful practice you can keep them from affecting your facial muscles.
I've often been described as someone who wears her heart on her sleeve (others often mention that they can tell when i'm sad, happy, excited, pensive etc) This is not a bad thing when i'm in the presence of supportive, well- intentioned people. However, it's a horrible thing around toxic people - especially at work.
I have a potentially tough meeting coming up at work; it is going to be with the most toxic people in the place (who have been trying so hard to build a case against me). Therefore, I NEED to come off as composed, calm, , emotionally NEUTRAL and above it all/unfazed.
So how does a fairly emotional/animated person like me master the art of the poker face?
"Think God Father" and The Sicilian Black Hand.
Give these people something they WON'T EVER expect, The "nothing personal, strictly business" look..
Concentrate, look directly at the color of their eyes, focus on that and stay focused as you look through their eyes.
Just like you would when looking at your girl, only these people aren't your friends, no smiles..
Practice some breathing techniques & meditation for a few minutes everyday & right before important events. Your body language is a reflection of your state of mind. Calming your mind will automatically reflect calmness on your face. You have to be a very good actor to break the link between mind & body. Maybe you can control your face but movement of your hands, legs will give away what you are feeling. Not everyone can read body language but we are built with a certain 'sense' to know what's going on in others minds. That's why we feel uncomfortable in someone's company or dislike someone for no particular reason or feel a bit scared when someone's around. Its because we are catching up on certain signals from their body & have a hunch that something is not right with the person even though they appear to be friendly & calm. They are hiding their true intentions & keeping up an appearance but their body betrays them.
I have a potentially tough meeting coming up at work; it is going to be with the most toxic people in the place (who have been trying so hard to build a case against me).
If you can let go of any preconceptions about the outcome, you're less attached emotionally to whats hurled in your direction.
Practice some breathing techniques & meditation for a few minutes everyday & right before important events. Your body language is a reflection of your state of mind. Calming your mind will automatically reflect calmness on your face. You have to be a very good actor to break the link between mind & body. Maybe you can control your face but movement of your hands, legs will give away what you are feeling. Not everyone can read body language but we are built with a certain 'sense' to know what's going on in others minds. That's why we feel uncomfortable in someone's company or dislike someone for no particular reason or feel a bit scared when someone's around. Its because we are catching up on certain signals from their body & have a hunch that something is not right with the person even though they appear to be friendly & calm. They are hiding their true intentions & keeping up an appearance but their body betrays them.
Wow. Thanks. You just explained my issue (and human psychology) perfectly. Very insightful! Now you have me thinking about all the people in my life who i've never quite felt comfortable around- despite their seemingly "nice" demeanor.
Meditation is a wonderful thing, for many reasons, but it does take some practice and it sounds like you don't have much time.
Letting go of preconceptions? Maybe. That's also hard to learn to do consistently on short notice. If you want this meeting to go well a positive expectation could actually help; but if you can't generate a positive expectation, then at least let go of the bad ones.
Another suggestion. Pretend you are a robot. All your thinking and communications are dictated by logic alone, and emotions play no part whatsoever.
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