Advice moving away - worried (introvert, Christmas, introducing, conversation)

[Sickandtiredofthis]

Definitely started to notice a few subtle cultural differences between home and here:

1. English people don't say hello to strangers or even smile to strangers or in passing, for example, when you are passing someone who lives on the same block of flats.
2. They don't like strangers asking questions for directions; this one really puzzles me, even in America I never had any problem when asking people how to get someplace. When I ask a random stranger 'how do you get to such and such?', i'm usually left with weird stares as if I am somehow asking them to commit suicide. I don't know what English people do when they can't find somewhere, but in Northern Ireland we ask people how, I guess English people get lost and walk around in circles.

Perhaps these are just a Southern English things, I don't know. But I must admit it does cause me difficulty sometimes.

[norman_w]

Aw you poor kid. Here's what I did, join the theater group. You don't have to be on stage, you can do production, design, hair makeup. Everyone will like you. the rich kids, the tough kids, the teachers. Everyone loves someone in the theater group. Even at the store the cashiers will want to know how the show is coming along.

[Bottletree]

Originally Posted by Sickandtiredofthis

I keep seeing a few people who are always sitting on their own. I might sit beside them the next time!

Did you try this?

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by Sickandtiredofthis

Definitely started to notice a few subtle cultural differences between home and here:

1. English people don't say hello to strangers or even smile to strangers or in passing, for example, when you are passing someone who lives on the same block of flats.

It's not an English thing. New Yorkers don't even do this.

You are experiencing culture shock, which is often what happens when someone moves to a dramatically different place.

You can choose to hate it because it is not like home or you can set aside your insecurity and "difficulty" and learn from the new situation. Your classes are not the only learning experience.

[Londoncowboy30]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

It's not an English thing. New Yorkers don't even do this.

You are experiencing culture shock, which is often what happens when someone moves to a dramatically different place.

You can choose to hate it because it is not like home or you can set aside your insecurity and "difficulty" and learn from the new situation. Your classes are not the only learning experience.

Good post that is and a good example.

When I visited Florida people would smile from about 20 yards away and once we were about to pass they would stop and strike up random conversations. I couldn't believe how friendly the people were Moderator cut: delete

[Sickandtiredofthis]

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

It's not an English thing. New Yorkers don't even do this.

You are experiencing culture shock, which is often what happens when someone moves to a dramatically different place.

You can choose to hate it because it is not like home or you can set aside your insecurity and "difficulty" and learn from the new situation. Your classes are not the only learning experience.

Moderator cut: delete
Just to be clear, i'm not talking about saying hello to random strangers, but rather people who might live on the same apartment complex who's face you may know or who you may have seen a few times before.

I'm not insecure, I am just highlighting the differences between my home and here. I find some Southern English people difficult to 'get', I don't 'get' their cold shoulder and I don't 'get' what the problem is when I ask for directions.

I keep expecting people to say hello when I walk down the corridor of the apartment complex and it never happens, only the odd time, and most of the time it's a foreigner or someone from a different part of England. They really are very, very closed and often very, very stuck up.

Especially the ones with the upper class accent, I know that is the way they were born but I still can't help feel like they are snobs. The manner in which some of them say some things would have you think that they are looking down on people.

My Physics teacher always says 'such things' or 'in such a manner' and i'm like... please just stop and speak normally. I just can't help but feel like people like him are trying to make a statement. I don't see why they can't talk like everyone else in Southern England.

The standard accent is fine!

Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30

Good post that is and a good example.

When I visited Florida people would smile from about 20 yards away and once we were about to pass they would stop and strike up random conversations. I couldn't believe how friendly the people were! As opposed to Londonl

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Americans are nicer and I think I might find it easier to live there over Southern England, I just don't know how to get people from here, their culture and attitude to things is really, really odd. There is nothing wrong with saying hello to someone in passing.

[Sickandtiredofthis]

Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30

Well in fairness yes Florida is my only experience of America and as it was a positive one I will continue to use it as a reference

Now I'd agree ( for once ) that different parts will have different mentalities BUT have you every thought not just in the USA but in southern England that the lack of politeness might have something to do with YOU???!.

It stands to reason in my eyes and could even see a monk taking a swing at you at the best of times

No

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by Sickandtiredofthis

[mod]delete[/mod

Just to be clear, i'm not talking about saying hello to random strangers, but rather people who might live on the same apartment complex who's face you may know or who you may have seen a few times before.

I'm not insecure, I am just highlighting the differences between my home and here. I find some Southern English people difficult to 'get', I don't 'get' their cold shoulder and I don't 'get' what the problem is when I ask for directions.

I keep expecting people to say hello when I walk down the corridor of the apartment complex and it never happens, only the odd time, and most of the time it's a foreigner or someone from a different part of England. They really are very, very closed and often very, very stuck up.

Especially the ones with the upper class accent, I know that is the way they were born but I still can't help feel like they are snobs. The manner in which some of them say some things would have you think that they are looking down on people.

My Physics teacher always says 'such things' or 'in such a manner' and i'm like... please just stop and speak normally. I just can't help but feel like people like him are trying to make a statement. I don't see why they can't talk like everyone else in Southern England.

The standard accent is fine!



Americans are nicer and I think I might find it easier to live there over Southern England, I just don't know how to get people from here, their culture and attitude to things is really, really odd. There is nothing wrong with saying hello to someone in passing.
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Moderator cut: delete
Your EXPECTATIONS are the problem. We are trying to tell you that you can EXPECT people to throw rose petals at your feet as you pass by, and you will find yourself continually disappointed.

Stop asking the world what it's done for you today and start asking what YOU can do for the world. (Complaining doesn't count.)

[Miss Blue]

Moderator cut: reopening remarks

Please report insults, attacks and off topic posts..We appreciate reporting those posts. You may continue the discussion with that in mind.

ps also keep in mind that you are warned

[Sickandtiredofthis]

Well i'm into my third week.

I've been trying to make an effort to go to groups and so far i've not really got anywhere. I've been going to two groups that i've got interests in.

I totally understand the principals of not going out at all and i've been trying not to isolate myself and honestly it's not working. I make an effort every single day to go to the shop or the gym because I can't be bothered sitting inside, I don't like being alone. I do alot more than I would normally do to get out.

My classmates are totally uninterested, there's a few of them that I say hi to but that's it. The group that I mentioned are still going strong. I'm starting to regret having my own room, I don't think I would be in this position if I was in shared accomodation. From what I'm seeing most students group up with their flatmates. That's the way it seems to be here, everyone forms their groups and then it get's closed off and then they can't be bothered speaking to anyone.

Perhaps I am expecting too much too quickly, I am definitely forcing myself out there though. I don't know what I'm supposed to do if other peole are closed off or not willing to cooperate with me when I try and talk to them.

So far university has not brought me the opportunities that I expected to get, I don't know, I just feel like everyone is really closed off and not interested in making friends, NO one has really came up to me and introduced themselves, it's like they don't care.