Over 30? What advice would you give to your 20-something self? (jealous, judgmental)

[Zelpha]

Dear 25-year-old me: You are at the peak of your professional life. You are in your prime.

One Monday in May you are going to suddenly fall severely ill and will end up unable to eat or stand up for at least a week. You will be alone & scared in bed in your apartment.

DO NOT CALL ANYONE FOR HELP.

If you go to the hospital and survive this illness, your life after recovery will take a sharp downward turn personally, professionally, financially, and functionally, and you will never fully recover or thrive again.

Take your ticket to Heaven now! You'll be so glad you did!!

[bus man]

Be prepared to accept the fact that some things that are very important to you now won't matter later, and some things that aren't even on your radar now will be very important later. Accept that your lifestyle and desires will change as you progress through various life stages. Don't fight it; embrace it.

A calm, stable life with an "average" person who loves you and cares for you is far better than a chaotic, dramatic life with an "exciting" person whose idea of "love" is to create loads of drama for you to navigate.

[jmarchand1981]

I opened this thread, read a couple of posts and the closed it. Once I closed it the following is what came into my head. I had to post it because I wold probably have done things differently.

Being the father of a daughter I would tell my 20 year old self that every woman is also a daughter.

To a much much lesser degree I would also tell myself to learn to live with structure. It will help in the coming years.

[pythonis]

Save your money, dont get married (to a certain person), dont be afraid to be yourself, and get used to not having any friends.

[geebabe]

Keep up your exercising to stay physically fit!!!!!!!! It takes work to stay hot!!!

[Vectoris]

To me in my 20s this would have changed my life:

Believe in yourself 100% and have the confidence to be single, not to latch on to someone who is 'better than nothing'. Don't be afraid to be alone, to live alone, to make your own life, before preparing to share it. Those talents that you have, use them. Life is not all about a career and money in the bank. You want to learn to play the piano properly- so do it. Find a good teacher. Keep going with your music studies. You can do that AND have a job that pays the bills. Before you know it you will be too old and too tired, and you will notice your brain doesn't quite accommodate you the way it once did.

When you have your children, spend more time with them and less time working. A big fancy house is not that important, and neither is a late model car. You will look back and see how unimportant those things really are.

You pay too much attention to what other people think of you. Stop that immediately. Have belief in yourself and don't be afraid to make mistakes.

[Utopian Slums]

Originally Posted by maus

Same here, my stubborn younger self would have ignored most any advice from anyone else, including the older ME.

Me neither!

But if i could tell her stuff, she would probably listen to factual and practical "If - Then" like info. Such as:


-- Put all of your cash into the markets now, with heavy emphasis in energy funds. Pull out in August 2008. The market will crash in Oct 2008.

-- When your mother tells you a decade from now that she is going to help you care for her mother or at least compensate you financially for it, don't believe her!!! She is lying and still has Borderline Personality disorder.

-- When you get put on steroids and end up feeling insanely horny 24/7. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOUR ROOMMATE!! It will be the most sexually unfulfilling experience ever, you will never NOT be able to see him as "an extremely selfish person with an extremely small penis" again, and you will get in a cycle where you keep doing it "in hopes" that it will get better. IT WON'T!!!

-- When you get your first job out of grad school, it will be the perfect job for you but you will take it for granted. DO NOT QUIT!! The grass is NOT greener!

-- DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR CYMBALTA!! If you do, you will basically waste a year of your life in bed feeling suicidal.

-- DO NOT BUY THAT USED MERCURY!! It is more money than worth and the head gasket will blow a few months later.

-- DO NOT DO YOUR UNDERGRAD AT THAT EXPENSIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL! You change careers anyways.

-- HEADS UP: At that party when you are 20 and everyone is drinking beer (which i know you won't drink) on a Sunday and you can't get liquor, the weed you smoke will be out of a crack pipe and thus laced with crack!

-- DO NOT leave ANY summer earnings alone in that cottage or your roommate at the time will steal them. Better yet, pick a better roommate that summer!

-- BUY A HOUSE ASAP! Real estate prices are gonna rise so fast you won't even believe it!!

-- DO NOT MARRY "Joe Blow." He keeps getting fired but doesn't even care. He plays video games 24/7 and gains over 100lbs! You will NOT be happy in the situation!!

[ohio_peasant]

Looking back, the persons who'd benefit most from such hypothetical advice are my parents, rather than the younger me. If I could travel back in time, having a conversation with my parents when they were young, I would have said:

1. Don't have children.
2. If you can't avoid having children, don't wait until middle-age.
3. However much your country happens to be corrupt, perfidious or uncouth, don't emigrate.
4. If you can't help emigrating, move to a certain small country along the eastern coast of the Mediterranean, and not a large country with one coast on the Pacific, and another on the Atlantic.
5. Intellectuals will never be at peace. Think about that, as you raise your children. And even better,
6. Respect Rule #1.

[Harpaint]

I would tell her not to worry so much and get away from her family of flakes.

[maniac77]

My advice to a 20-something me would simply be "kill yourself now." It would've saved me years of misery and heartache.