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Happened to me many times throughout my life at places I worked. Because I have been almost too nice, unfortunately there were those who take out their "stuff" on me. Because my confidence was never really all that great, I ended up falling apart and walking out because I was in tears and had had enough. This is with co-worker "bullying".
I never walked out when customers treated me poorly. I knew that they would not be there every day, many hours, to mistreat me. I have worked in retail and as a waitress. I had many experiences where customers yelled at me (no fault of mine most of the time--they were just rude/miserable people lashing out at me. I will say if you can work in those kinds of jobs where you can learn how to get along with the public without it rattling you too much, you can work in many other jobs. A drunk man threw up on my clothes/shoes at a place I worked at when I was a waitress. He had just finished a t-bone steak with all the trimmings and side dishes. That was worse than any verbal assault I received--ever! It wasn't fun going in the bathroom and cleaning up all the pieces of his upchuck all over me (it was in the olden days and we had to wear white dresses, hose and white shoes and I was covered!). I had to clean up the table and floor after that and work several more hours. It was by far the worst work-related experience I have ever had and there was nothing anyone could say or do that bothered me as much after that and that man didn't say anything to me except give me his order and the sound he made before he got sick on me.
"I'm curious though, when confronted with people that are very rude or treat you unfairly how do you usually react?"
I learned long ago (about 60 years ago) to simply ignore and avoid such people. Their character defects are THEIR problems, not mine, and repairing such defects is THEIR job, not mine, and any confrontation will accomplish nothing so why bother.
Besides, such people are often so full of themselves that being ignored just drives them frantic! They don't know what to do!
But then, "rude" and "unfair" are judgement calls. What in my opinion could be called such may not be considered so by others. It is best to just go on about my business and let it slide.
If my job requires me to serve them, I do so to the best of my ability, THEN ignore them and hope they will go away.
Surprised to read so many people have had issues with bullying in their adult lives.
I was bullied in grade school, but after 7th or 8th grade, that was pretty much the last time. I've worked with some really abrasive people who have tried to bully me a bit, but if you shut it down quickly and forcefully, it usually stops cold.
As far as being bullied by a boss goes, it's never happened to me. I have had bosses that bullied other coworkers, but they never did to me.
I think part of it is how much you allow your job and your work to encroach upon your life. I work to live, I don't live to work. I also keep a healthy amount of reserve savings and retirement assets that I can draw upon if I ever had to just up and quit over something that I won't tolerate. If you take a good look at your coworkers and assess them, you can usually tell just who needs their job and who is prepared to walk if they don't to deal with any BS. The people who can walk won't be bullied by management, because they know that their threats are ultimately pretty hollow.
It's important to recognize that a bully goes after "you" personally not the product, not the wait but you. I had a patients family member who attacked me personally as "uncaring". I shot back, "well man, it's not a perfect world". Naturally he called the supervisor and went on and on about my response. Big whupp. He never approached me again.
I saw a supervisor brought to tears by this bully. So when I confronted him it was with that knowledge. Any one of us can see a bully taking aim at us. "I'm sorry you are unsatisfied, let me call the manager" is the standard and excellent response. If they continue to go after you, almost all businesses have security. Call them and let them deal with the misaligned individual.
PS I have witnessed bullying to a clerk ...you bet
I opened my mouth!
"Hey, just bec you're having a bad day...it's not HER fault!"
Whoa, did she shut up...just a house wife venting...she won't do THAT again!
Was the clerk, in a classy Dept store, grateful!
I don't think she was allowed to say anything, ya know.
The last time I worked in a customer-service related job was when I was a busboy in an upscale restaurant back in high school (late 1980's). I hated dealing with jerky, entitled customers. There was one lady in particular I found very rude - if I could have, I would have dumped a cup of water over her head - of course I didn't do this This is when I realized I couldn't work in these types of jobs.
That being said, my understanding is that people that do work in customer service need to have thick skin when dealing with difficult customers. If you can't deal with this type of thing, it's probably the wrong job fit for you.
Sure, I've gotten upset with businesses that I've felt are trying to cheat me and/or haven't been responsive when I've paid good money for a service. However, I would never insult an employee personally and/or make fun of the way they look, etc. That is just a $#%# move, and completely out of line & unprofessional.
That was one thing I loved about working in a 7-11. If a customer came in and threw a hissy fit about a 69¢ cup of coffee and was verbally abusive doing it, the manager had no qualms about letting us throw that customer out on their ear. Obviously, we weren't allowed to start an argument, swear, or otherwise insult the customer back, but we didn't have to take any crap from anyone. And when it came to drunks and underage kids wanting their beer and smokes, we had a lot of people trying to give up crap.
There's a site, not a forum, that's called notalwaysright.com. If you think you deal with crazy, rude, and unpredictable people on your job, go there and read a few stories. It'll put a smile on your face and you won't think you've got it so bad anymore.
I've never been bullied as an adult, but one time when I was a little kid there was a older boy who lived down the street. He liked to use me as a punching bag. But one day he tried that when I happened to be holding a baseball bat. I lost my temper and almost killed him, I think. He never touched me again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
I've been bullied on the job in my younger years. I have 26 years in my profession now and in recent years had at least two coworkers try to bully me. I have a mouth on me and I spewed out a couple of colorful words with a raised voice. You guessed it. I was called into the boss's office for it. I pointed out to everybody within - I'm older, have more experience; many of my coworkers (and a few supervisors) are young enough to be my sons/daughters. I'm college educated and a U.S. Army veteran! Nobody mistreats me! I'll sooner grab my jacket and go home, and they damn well know this!
Just Work your hardest, show professionalism, and respect. But...don't take **** from anybody!!!!
These are probably the only two ways to respond that actually work.
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This is when I realized I couldn't work in these types of jobs.
