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So.....what do you think about blacks that use the N word referring to each other, but are OFFENDED when they hear it from a non-black???? Yeah, WRONG is WRONG and if something is offensive, it is ALWAYS offensive, not selectively.
THAT IS the true definition of racism....when it is OK for someone of YOUR ethnic group to do/say, but you do not accept it from another.
Since when is this the definition of racism???
Jade and JrzDefector answered your ridiculous question quite nicely.
To the OP,
I have white friends and this has never happened to me - to my face at least. Perhaps you are still friends with them in some attempt to show them that you are "different"?
Kick them to the curb and find new friends. You can tell them before as a warning, either they quite it or things will change. When people make you feel bad, you distance yourself and cut them off. It should be easy, not like they are your immediate family.
I have notice this too, and i blame the entertainment field and the ghetto music field, I notice the past twenty years it has gotten bad, like they was taught to hate, they dont know why but everybody telling them to hate. I beginning in my old age just to quit talking to anybody of another race just because i dont know if they going to blow up.
so its not you, its everywhere, everybody has a chip on their shoulder
May I ask what race are your friends? Sorry if I missed it in the thread. The reason I ask is because the behavior between the history of the races may be the pulpit of the comments. It's not right that they mention your race but I've heard comedians and general talk about Black's and White's. There is a difference between the other races as well. But, I know you are mad when it happens each time. However, if you have been friends with them through thick and thin for that many years then I still say hang in there. The way I see it is they are honest to tell you how they honestly feel towards your race. But, if they felt that way for real you wouldn't be around still. Sounds like they really want to say things to others that are upsetting them but you are the closest to it. I can tell you to kill a cat with kindness. Ignore what they say mention some positive people you know of your race. It may be others they know that are angry they are hanging out with you and the pressure is on them. If they have been down for you through thick and thin- pray for them and be there. Because some friends of your race may hurt you even worse. True-
What bothers me is that I know these people did not start out as bigots. 2 of them I have known since we were teenagers, the other one is mixed and she has white mom, and i have known her for years. I know they had friends of other races besides me. It's just been like gradually over the years I have noticed them changing to be more narrow minded and only want to be around people just like them. That is what bothers me.
Believe me I have tried to explain like you have, that not everyone of a certain race is bad or evil or violent. It just annoys me that I seem to have to even bother explaining to them because I know they didn't used to think that.
I did know someone when I was a teenager who was that bigoted who went to our same school, and I tried to be friends with her for a while but it got on my nerves how she constantly talked about how much better her race/religion was than everyone else's and had criticisms all the time for my race/religion. It got on my nerves so much I couldn't be friends with her anymore.
Sounds somewhat like the girl who called me the "N" word out of the blue. I knew her since middle school. We had our beefs, but I never heard that word come from her. I can't really explain the change in some people like that.
The older I get, the less patient I am. I get tired of having to explain stuff to other people. I know that I'm not a thug. I know Black people who aren't thugs. One reason I cringe when I hear about some Black person who did something stupid. I understand what the statistics say. I also have personal experiences that thuggish behavior can come not only from Blacks, but from Whites, and Hispanics as well. I gets old having to explain "not everyone is like that". It gets old to hear someone else talk in categorical terms, to talk in terms of "Blacks keep doing this " or "Whites keep doing this".
Sometimes walking away is best. I've had to do so because I basically feel "punked" when trying give a bigot the benefit of the doubt. I don't do that. I don't care what made someone like that. The very fact that you (or me) is standing in front of said person, showing the very opposite, showing that you (or me) are not that stereotype, such proof should be enough. If it isn't, sometimes it's best to walk away.
I remember meeting someone who had an interesting view on prejudice. To this day, I still don't understand why. Said person admitting to having a friend who was in an anti-Black hate group. Ironic to hear a Black man being friends with someone who is part of an anti-Black hate group. I had to think "why are you friends with someone who is part of a hate group that basically hates your race and views you as inferior"? According to him,his rationale behind it was "when some people feel threatened, they do, say, and join things that make them feel a sense of security". Essentially, he was giving someone the benefit of the doubt. According to him, even a racist should be judged as an individual.
I look at it like this. If someone who was suppose to be my friend ever joined the KKK or some Neo-Nazi group, I'm not talking to that person again. I know said groups would want to kill me, as a Black man. I am thinking about my survival. I'm also thinking of this in a "never again" kind of mind frame. By tolerating someone's Klan membership, I feel like I'm being punked, taking a position of "knowing one's place". I've read about this chapter in history, the Jim Crow days.
Yes, this is kind of how I have been looking at it for years. It's not like they make these racist comments on a daily basis. it's only once in a while and so it would seem to be mean of me to not talk to them based on that. I have been trying to show compassion and to show that I am not the stereotypical "annoying white girl" or what have you. I have had arguments with one of them about whether or not all German people are Nazis, that type of thing. Just sweeping stereotypes that you see on TV, they pick them up and then it becomes up to me to disprove the stereotypes. It gets annoying.
Welcome to the real world ... You're dealing with ignorant, stupid, easily-lead people. Walk away and don't go back. Don't give an inch. Just be careful they don't get together to jump you.
I don't use the n-word or condone it for anyone. It is generational. I flinch when I hear my black peers use it. But there is a purpose of reclaiming it. Other groups know it is racist and it doesn't matter how down you think you are, you aren't allowed to use it end of story. That's not racist, a little misguided. But sorry white people, just because you like Jay-Z, Beyoncé and Kanye doesn't mean you can go around yelling n's in Paris. And please stop pretending you don't know that one generation ago your family was complaining about the n-words moving into the neighborhood. We haven't passed the era of people using the word as a slur. My parents certainly experienced it enough.
You choose to take my remark personally, and it is not meant that way. ANY race of people (white, black, blue, green) that find something offensive from someone not of the same race is being racist IF they do not find it offensive when said by someone of their own race....I only gave an example.
And NO, my parents NEVER complained about anyone of any color living in our neighborhood, but then I grew up in a military family where all colors worked together as a team, especially when you flew as my father did. There was far more "division" in my world based on officer/enlisted members then there was color....my friends who were officers kids could not go to the enlisted pool and us enlisted kids could not go to the officers pool. As a kid, not being able to spend the day at the pool with your friends because of your dad's rank (or lack there of) was a HUGE deal. Likewise, officers wives did their thing with other officers wives, and enlisted were not to "fraternize."
Last edited by Paka; 09-27-2015 at 01:43 AM..
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