Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So the pastor gossiped with you about another member of the church? Very unprofessional. It was pretty clear that you wanted to tattle on this woman from the get-go and you got your wish. I'd be hesitant to confide anything to the pastor in the future since it's clear he isn't hesitant to gossip about other members.
I'm not getting it - what interest is in discussing things you already agreed upon?
Are you thinking that they're only talking about things that they have the same view on?
I think nowadays people would benefit more from observing communication boundaries, everything is so balkanized that there's so much tension around. I don't really get why people need to get all controlling or why they get off putting others down for not having their views.
I don't know. In my 50 plus years on this earth, rare is the person who is this abrasive to a virtual stranger in a church.
Who made her the keeper of the gate?
Update - We had our meeting about transfer of records to this church today. The pastor is awesome. Friendly, smart, and very wise. He has good intuition about people.
We had decided not to bring up Betty incident - as most of you recommended, but after discussing a few other things, we thought it might be a good idea to ask the pastor if hers was the prevailing view point in the church.
His answer was absolutely NOT! He is not a Fox News fan. However, he said there are some in the church and others who think differently. It isn't a "political church". Which was what I had thought.
What happened next was surprising - he said I saw you on Sunday and I know who you are talking about. She has some very strong opinions, and apparently, not only about politics.
He said that she is new to the church. I was shocked and said that she said that she told me that she had been attending for several years. He said no. She left for two years, and visited different churches.
She likes to be in charge and when she doesn't get her way at other churches she returns because this church is pretty easy going and tolerant.
This was the first he had heard of the political view point. But he wasn't shocked. He also wasn't shocked by how rude she was.
She apparently has a problem with people who do not dress up for church and with anyone who is overweight. She wanted to set up an etiquette class in the church.
He told me that on Sunday he would have some very nice "old timers" escort us to our table after we get doughnuts and coffee, so that she doesn't come in for the kill.
So I felt relieved that my experience was somewhat validated.
That pastor is extremely unprofessional! That is NOT RIGHT to talk about his parishioners like that!
And wait, transfer of records? This isn't a doctor's office, for God's sake. Did you have to prove you tithed to your last church or something?
OMG. So much wrong with this picture.
You DO know that you don't have to pay for God's love, right?
So the pastor gossiped with you about another member of the church? Very unprofessional. It was pretty clear that you wanted to tattle on this woman from the get-go and you got your wish. I'd be hesitant to confide anything to the pastor in the future since it's clear he isn't hesitant to gossip about other members.
Exactly, he had no business doing that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
That pastor is extremely unprofessional! That is NOT RIGHT to talk about his parishioners like that!
And wait, transfer of records? This isn't a doctor's office, for God's sake. Did you have to prove you tithed to your last church or something?
OMG. So much wrong with this picture.
You DO know that you don't have to pay for God's love, right?
Yeah, I don't get the transfer of records. It's not like there are kids attending school there if there was a school.
Sheena, you handled the luncheon perfectly, it should have stopped there.
In a way you kind of did what this woman did to you, you brought up politics when it wasn't appropriate.
And if the pastor was so "free" to talk about this woman, rest assured he will pass along to others what you and your husband said to him. For all you know he was just telling you what you wanted to hear and in fact is avid Fox News watcher.....LOL.
I can almost hear it "did you see the two liberals who just left my office, they just joined and already starting problems".
What's not to get? I don't want to have heated political debates at church - or anywhere, for that matter, with people who are so intense and hateful in their beliefs that they change the TV channel if the pres. is on or they cut his likeness out if he's in the paper.
That's nuts.
Me either! If I want political discussions, I can join some sort of issues discussion group. Church is for spiritual things. Members meet to worship and have fellowship. The idea is to love one another, not dissect each others' politics. And, along with loving one another goes respecting others' opinions.
I don't know. In my 50 plus years on this earth, rare is the person who is this abrasive to a virtual stranger in a church.
Who made her the keeper of the gate?
Update - We had our meeting about transfer of records to this church today. The pastor is awesome. Friendly, smart, and very wise. He has good intuition about people.
We had decided not to bring up Betty incident - as most of you recommended, but after discussing a few other things, we thought it might be a good idea to ask the pastor if hers was the prevailing view point in the church.
His answer was absolutely NOT! He is not a Fox News fan. However, he said there are some in the church and others who think differently. It isn't a "political church". Which was what I had thought.
What happened next was surprising - he said I saw you on Sunday and I know who you are talking about. She has some very strong opinions, and apparently, not only about politics.
He said that she is new to the church. I was shocked and said that she said that she told me that she had been attending for several years. He said no. She left for two years, and visited different churches.
She likes to be in charge and when she doesn't get her way at other churches she returns because this church is pretty easy going and tolerant.
This was the first he had heard of the political view point. But he wasn't shocked. He also wasn't shocked by how rude she was.
She apparently has a problem with people who do not dress up for church and with anyone who is overweight. She wanted to set up an etiquette class in the church.
He told me that on Sunday he would have some very nice "old timers" escort us to our table after we get doughnuts and coffee, so that she doesn't come in for the kill.
So I felt relieved that my experience was somewhat validated.
To the OP, you've been posting here since 2008 and have somehow missed the entire back and forth of most of the politics on CD I guess. People like the woman you've described are in plentiful supply in what has become a more vocal right wing in America. Fess up and tell her to control her urges to proselytize her ideas of what constitutes a worthwhile political view. Some people are so surly that a large amount of backtalk is sometimes called for. At last resort tell her you've "crossed her off your list"...
Just say that you are not interested & don't want to bother talking about it. If she insists, cut her off. If you are not decisive enough to cut her off, then sharpen up your mind to make a decision. Or just talk about the topic & grow interest in it. Whatever.
I think the pastor was fine. I needed to know if there was an "expected political view point" in this church. I did not want to waste anymore time there, if there was.
There isn't. However, the pastor did guess who we meant.
He does not tolerate intimidation in his church. Political or any sort.
It's also strange that she would say that she had been a member for several years. I never mentioned the woman's name, nor did he. He saw her talking to me during the coffee hour. He wants this out in the open, because she has apparently scared off other people in the past.
He did need to know that this was occurring.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She wanted to set up an etiquette class in the church. 
