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I tried to redirect the conversation, to no avail. She had invited me to a women's luncheon today and the threatened to "cross me off the list" - she actually couldn't do that because she isn't an officer of the club.
That tears it. This person is not worth your time. She is a political incontinent, and worse yet, she is a politically incontinent evangelist. Not only does she squat down and take a politics when civilized people are attempting to have normal conversations, she demands that you squat next to her and have the same function. She's attempting to intimidate you into playing along with her game. You are not required to be bullied. Any social situation she has the power to ruin for you is not worth your time and energy, since that means everyone else tolerates her crap.
If she comes to talk at you, I suggest a novel approach: no answers at all. She is not owed discussion. She is not owed anything. Receiving no response at all will frustrate her more than anything you say, and anything you say will just be seized as a way to take verbal jabs at you. If she finally comes close to losing it, and you want to sting her, you can tell her you aren't responding because you believe in not humiliating the mentally challenged, since they have enough troubles as it is.
I have a cousin like this. I just don't associate with him anymore. He's abusive.
Are you thinking that they're only talking about things that they have the same view on?
I think nowadays people would benefit more from observing communication boundaries, everything is so balkanized that there's so much tension around. I don't really get why people need to get all controlling or why they get off putting others down for not having their views.
It seemed to me that the OP enjoys such kind of conversation about politics.
Well, I see this situation (as well as many others) as a set of several conflicts, and I see conflicts as a moving agent of everything, and I literally mean everything. So, we develop when we deal with conflicts. The OP likes this woman. It means, that strong interest in politics is a part if this interesting personality. Otherwise, she (politically agitated woman) would be different and, maybe, not interesting for the OP. One can't befriend a part of someone else, so for the OP the question is simple: have such friend or don't have her. If she decides to have, she can either develop a tactics for political talks (sarcasm and absence of meekness in defending her own opinions, along with logics and knowledge, would help), or develop a resistance to this woman's style of communication. For this woman, politics is important, so there's probably no way to avoid the subject. I bet she doesn't like beauty topics as much as she likes discussing political issues.
I could use some advice! First let me say, that I do not need political advice. The problem is not political. In real life I have friends of every political stripe. Depending on the person, we may just not talk politics, or talk about issues that we agree upon.
Recently, I met a woman though church, who I found to be very smart and amusing. She likes clothes and dressing well. She uses the same hairdresser as I do, and we both enjoy reading. I was surprised to learn that her eldest child is only five years younger than I am.
I am still relatively new to my area (NE Ohio) and I find the area friendly. I am still open to expanding my circle of friends - as I always am. The more the merrier!
After the service, we went down stairs to the fellowship hall. We were talking about other matters - pleasant and interesting - when rather abruptly she asked "Do you watch Fox News?" I responded that I do not. She persisted and asked WHY I didn't watch Fox. I said that I did not enjoy it. I would think that she would have stopped pressing me, but instead she said "WHY?' I responded, meekly at this point, that I am a life long Democrat.
She sincerely looked rather horrified and said "how did that happen?" as though I had contracted a deadly disease. I said, semi joking "well, I hope that isn't a deal breaker" - she said "it could be", in a kind of bitter and disjointed tone.
I tried to redirect the conversation to another subject and I said "there's an old saying that advises against discussing sex, politics and religion"
She let out a bitter laugh and said "Those are my favorite subjects!"
I said "Oh". I tried to keep the conversation neutral and I told her that there were many Republicans for whom I had a great deal of respect - (she cut me off before I could name names) and said "Well there are NO DEMOCRATS who I respect!" She went on about her sheer hatred of the President and how she changes the channel every time he is on TV and cuts out his picture from the newspaper because she wouldn't have his likeness in her house.
Then she said "Well I'll work on you! We'll change you! - you'll see!" I said that I doubted that would happen. I also said that my staunchly Republican father respected my viewpoint, and never tried to change my mind.
She then said in this very sarcastic tone "So who are YOU voting for the the primaries - Hillary Clinton the Liar - or that COMMUNIST from Vermont?"
I tried to redirect the conversation, to no avail. She had invited me to a women's luncheon today and the threatened to "cross me off the list" - she actually couldn't do that because she isn't an officer of the club.
The luncheon is today, and I am afraid to attend. I don't want to be involved in another contentious conversation. What if she singles me out as "our token Democrat". Or continues yesterdays harangue?
I recently started attending this church because it is closer to my house. I also am afraid that she will ruin this for me. There are only about 100 in attendance each Sunday.
What would you do? My stomach is in a knot over this. And to make it worse - today is my birthday.
I have strong political views and know others who do, too. My father and brother have strong opposing political views. Also, my father is a "born again" religious person, which adds to his fervor.
I think that woman is Big Trouble for you. I've never run across someone who has said the things you say she said. That means she is off the charts wacko political. Don't count on her to stop it because that's the way her brain works. She can't stop it...literally.
She's a church lady, so you're bound to run into people like that in a church environment. Even if you changed churches, there would likely be someone like her in the new church (although probably not that rude and irritating and hostile).
You could change churches, not go to the luncheon, or keep to yourself at that church. Or ignore her, counting on others not being like her. I think the latter is a strong possibility.
I would ignore her for the time being, and absolutely refuse to discuss politics. At all. It's none of her business who you vote for, what your political views are, or anything.
Keep your distance from that wacko. Her behavior is anti-social. She is bad news. Intolerant, negative, hateful even. Nothing good would come from trying to be her friend or even casual acquaintance. You don't want a "friend" like her.
HOWEVER, if that group is insistant on not liking others with a different view, then that is the situation. No point in you trying to pretend you're something you're not. You would then need to move on and try to find people who are nicer or think more like you.
I'm sorry this is causing you stress and derailing your birthday. I'm not sure if I would go to the luncheon today so I don't know what to tell you about that.
That woman sounds like she has a screw loose. It's terrible that she has such a lack of boundaries and is so pushy and judgemental. I don't blame you for being confused and chagrined by her rude behavior. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you are able to enjoy your birthday.
I have not read through entirely yet, not knowing the outcome, but liked what you said. This is a type - I've seen it and is amazing how some think nothing of dictating how another should think or feel, in such an overbearing, controlling and aggressive manner. How dare someone approach others in this way.
I can't imagine a friendship developed, since this immature Con would only have been comfortable surrounded by her own kind. People may differ, but adults do not coerce others to go against their beliefs.
I think the pastor was fine. I needed to know if there was an "expected political view point" in this church. I did not want to waste anymore time there, if there was.
There isn't. However, the pastor did guess who we meant.
He does not tolerate intimidation in his church. Political or any sort.
It's also strange that she would say that she had been a member for several years. I never mentioned the woman's name, nor did he. He saw her talking to me during the coffee hour. He wants this out in the open, because she has apparently scared off other people in the past.
He did need to know that this was occurring.
And you think this guy is going to tell you the truth? He's hoping to make money off of you. Of course he will lie to your face and say whatever he thinks you want to hear.
I could use some advice! First let me say, that I do not need political advice. The problem is not political. In real life I have friends of every political stripe. Depending on the person, we may just not talk politics, or talk about issues that we agree upon.
Recently, I met a woman though church, who I found to be very smart and amusing. She likes clothes and dressing well. She uses the same hairdresser as I do, and we both enjoy reading. I was surprised to learn that her eldest child is only five years younger than I am.
I am still relatively new to my area (NE Ohio) and I find the area friendly. I am still open to expanding my circle of friends - as I always am. The more the merrier!
After the service, we went down stairs to the fellowship hall. We were talking about other matters - pleasant and interesting - when rather abruptly she asked "Do you watch Fox News?" I responded that I do not. She persisted and asked WHY I didn't watch Fox. I said that I did not enjoy it. I would think that she would have stopped pressing me, but instead she said "WHY?' I responded, meekly at this point, that I am a life long Democrat.
She sincerely looked rather horrified and said "how did that happen?" as though I had contracted a deadly disease. I said, semi joking "well, I hope that isn't a deal breaker" - she said "it could be", in a kind of bitter and disjointed tone.
I tried to redirect the conversation to another subject and I said "there's an old saying that advises against discussing sex, politics and religion"
She let out a bitter laugh and said "Those are my favorite subjects!"
I said "Oh". I tried to keep the conversation neutral and I told her that there were many Republicans for whom I had a great deal of respect - (she cut me off before I could name names) and said "Well there are NO DEMOCRATS who I respect!" She went on about her sheer hatred of the President and how she changes the channel every time he is on TV and cuts out his picture from the newspaper because she wouldn't have his likeness in her house.
Then she said "Well I'll work on you! We'll change you! - you'll see!" I said that I doubted that would happen. I also said that my staunchly Republican father respected my viewpoint, and never tried to change my mind.
She then said in this very sarcastic tone "So who are YOU voting for the the primaries - Hillary Clinton the Liar - or that COMMUNIST from Vermont?"
I tried to redirect the conversation, to no avail. She had invited me to a women's luncheon today and the threatened to "cross me off the list" - she actually couldn't do that because she isn't an officer of the club.
The luncheon is today, and I am afraid to attend. I don't want to be involved in another contentious conversation. What if she singles me out as "our token Democrat". Or continues yesterdays harangue?
I recently started attending this church because it is closer to my house. I also am afraid that she will ruin this for me. There are only about 100 in attendance each Sunday.
What would you do? My stomach is in a knot over this. And to make it worse - today is my birthday.
She sounds awful, not to mention rude and very obnoxious - a bully. This is not a friend you want to have. If she singles you out, just say "wow, don't you think that's kind of inappropriate?" Be polite and gracious, but reserved towards her. Be friendly and warm to people who approach you with respect.
Do NOT let the stress ruin your day or your attempts to befriend other people. The issue is hers. And if others are sheep enough to follow her lead, they are not people you want in your life. But cross that bridge when you come to it.
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