An aquaintance came on very strong about political topics - what should I do? (husband, dysfunctional)
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It sounds like she is the problem, not you. I would say that no matter which "side" either of you are on. You tried to keep it polite and neutral. She insisted on pushing it. I don't think I'd let one person sway me from a church I otherwise liked. I'd just keep my distance from her in the future.
My response would be something along the lines of, "Well, I'm liberal enough to appreciate that we are all entitled to our opinions, including opinions like yours. However, I do not feel that I am entitled to your opinion, bless your heart. Ooh, try some of this peach cobbler. It's delicious!"
Point being she needs to shut up and if she doesn't, here's something she can stuff in her piehole so the rest of us can enjoy the gathering in peace.
Oh, and here's another good reason to attend today: if you find the other women to be similar to her, then you'll KNOW this is not the church for you and you will feel free to find a new one!
I agree with this - either she's an outlier, in which case, you can develop friendships with other church members whose views are more similar in terms of respecting each other and staying away from contentious topics.
Or if it turns out that she's fairly representative of the community, you'll know that it's not the right fit for you.
Happy Birthday to you Sheena! Please don't let one wing nut spoil your day or your luncheon.
Try and seek out other members to sit near and have conversations with.
If your new found friend continues to get up in your grill then tell her you'd prefer to discuss religion or sex, since she mentioned those were also her favorite subjects.
I bolded the part where you're wrong. This woman is not the OP's friend, the OP referred to her properly, she is an acquaintance and nothing more.
The problem is this is a small church with a woman's group, this one is going to be a problem. She is a nut job. There are right wing nut jobs, and left wing nut jobs. It's their way or the highway.
The only thing the OP could have done differently is said "I don't follow politics at all", she did try and I give her credit by saying "it's not good to discuss politics or religion"(because that is true), but it fell on deaf ears with this woman and she continued.
OP, I have a feeling given it is such a small church your views are going to be in the minority based on what this woman said, be prepared to be getting the cold shoulder and it might be better for you to find another church.
The good news is you're new to the area and don't have much invested with these people. This woman sounds like the type that is going to run back and say "I just found out Sheena is a Democrat and a bleeding heart liberal", and the cold shoulder begins.
Next time you run into this say "I don't follow politics at all" and change the subject.
Oh, and here's another good reason to attend today: if you find the other women to be similar to her, then you'll KNOW this is not the church for you and you will feel free to find a new one!
This is very good advice. It the OP gets the cold shoulder than she knows for sure. Maybe it's just the one woman but I have a feeling it most likely isn't.
I like to talk about politics early so I know whether or not to be friends with the person.
You can't be friends with someone you disagree with? I can see your point for romantic relationships--I'm not going to date someone whose values are diametrically opposed to mine. But while most of my friends tend to be of like mind, I can't imagine ruling someone out just because we don't agree on everything. That's entirely too narrow-minded and self-righteous.
Rudeness, yes. But not a differing opinion. That's what's wrong with this country. Too much partisanship.
I like to talk about politics early so I know whether or not to be friends with the person.
I think I am old school - I have no trouble having friends of differing political beliefs. I tend to think that politics is something that you discuss when you know the person better, and a friendship has been established.
She also came on so strong and nasty. I did not say anything bad about her party, but she let it rip.
I can be friends with people of all backgrounds - but I can not be friends with rude people. Or people who are so obsessed with politics that it controls every aspect of their lives.
As another person said - she seems to have a screw lose.
I like to talk about politics early so I know whether or not to be friends with the person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
I tend to think that politics is something that you discuss when you know the person better, and a friendship has been established.
That's the thing. This woman isn't "talking about politics."
She's using the topic of politics to judge whether or not you will agree with her on everything. I would see it as a quick lesson that she is not someone with whom you could actually have a legitimate political discussion.
It sounds like that's what War Beagle is doing too.
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