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What in the firetruck jaded you so much?
And I want more out of life than some mundane job.
I'm willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve these types of goals. That's what I'm doing right now.
And I thought I was negative. That's got dark brah.
As if he left me and I'd never be able to find someone else because brown hair, green eyes, 5'2" and 120 is sooooo unappealing. You have no clue what I look like or my chances of finding someone else and achieving my goals.
Someone's projecting and doesn't even have the courtesy to extend the benefit of the doubt in this situation.
Yikes!
You don't get hugged enough do you?
You are extremely naive. That might be understandable at 18, not at 26.
Seriously, this young lady is climbing back from breaking her back. It's not like breaking a leg. It affects every system. I don't know why people are piling on her for not working or what ever.
Seriously, this young lady is climbing back from breaking her back. It's not like breaking a leg. It affects every system. I don't know why people are piling on her for not working or what ever.
Because we've been advising her for 7+ years and every bit of it has been been ignored. Nothing is ever her fault. She has an excuse for everything. If she really wanted advice, she'd take some if it. She wants validation and she's not going to get it from me.
Religion has nothing to do with it. In a relationship, the woman is at a disadvantage. Marriage provides legal protections for wives. Trust me, an older woman, on this. All things are hunky dory now. But five years is nothing.
Courts exist to help with marital property and such. There are NO courts for "almost marrieds" or "sort of like married." You are roommates under the eyes of the law. If you have a joint account, and he withdraws all of it and leaves...you are NOT entitled to half of that money, legally. Because you are not married. A joint account means you each individually own it. He can take it all, and you can take it all.
If he leaves with all the property, what are you going to do about it? He's stronger. The stronger one gets the stuff. I can hear you thinking, "Oh, he's not like that." You'd be surprised how people get when going through a split.
.
I am not sure where you came up with all this outdated nonsense, but... stop spewing it all over the web.
I have had two long term relations end in the last decade. One married and one not. The one that we were not married was by far the easiest to end. I lost my butt in the divorce but I was left financially ok in the relationship that we were not married.
In a nutshell, you don't deserve the haranguing diatribes even if it's due to possible illness (mental?) on her part.
So, once the diatribe of shouting on the phone from her begins, "Click."
The only way to change the dynamic between you and your mother is directly tell her that from this day forward her interactions with you will no longer continue if they involve yelling. Let her know that you insist that she communicate with respect, or there will not be communication, and stick to it! Good luck.
No because then I'm essentially an orphan without parents to go to. My "dad" hasn't been around since I was 2. She's all I have left. I just want her to be normal.
You might be my long lost sister! Hate to break it to you, but she's never going to normal! I'm 40 and still treats me like I'm 13. I never got into trouble as a kid, never did drugs, didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't stay out late or all night, never got knocked up, never screwed the football team. I had decent grades. I started working when I was 16. I'm her problem child.....not exactly sure how I'm a problem when it's my brother who has had several run ins with police in various cities/towns over the years...not me!
I rare speak to my mother because of her mouth. She's abusive. She can't treat me like a human, then I can't talk to her. She's always going to be a b itch. There's nothing I can do about it. Once I realized that the problem was her and she needed to fix herself, I decided to severe ties. I'm much happier without her nonsense in my life!
Just because you share DNA doesn't make a person a parent.
My whole life my mom has been very over dramatic, about everything.
I wasn't a bad kid growing up. I stayed off drugs, out of jail and at 26 haven't even had a pregnancy scare.
We fought over small stuff. Clothes, make up, boys, my privileges essentially, typical stuff.
Her recent string of calls are to yell at me for everything I do and tell me I'm heading nowhere fast.
Same old song, slightly different lyrics.
I'm not heading nowhere fast.
In fact I don't even feel like I'm living life in anyway worthy of being yelled at for.
I've been in the same relationship for the past 5 years.
We live together, have two dogs and are pretty happy.
We pay our bills.
We stay out of trouble.
We're doing all the right things.
He works, I can't. He has an amazing job traveling the lower 48 and I get to go with him, along with our two dogs. We've been able to pay our bills and then some with me helping out now.
The only things she's called to yell about are me being on top of taking care of my health. (I broke my back in May of '14. I have spinal cord damage and lingering issues.)
I've been trying for the past month or two to find a doctor but between wait times and offices that take my insurance it's hard to find one. I can't even talk to the surgeon who did my surgery because I didn't have health insurance when he had to do surgery and the HI I have now isn't accepted by them.
Then once I told her how I have a plan and I'm trying to get this taken care of she started grasping at straws for other things to yell about then told me I don't use Facebook right and that I post things all the time talking about what a "b&tch" I am. I scrolled two months of post and only found two photos. One of a coffee mug I shared and tagged a friend in that had a bitchy saying and then one of Robert Downey Jr rolling his eyes with the straight outta Compton design but it said "straight out of ferks".
My moms in her 50s and doesn't quiet grasp that sharing isn't a reflection of who a person is.
I see, I laugh, I hit share.
Everything else on my feed is either photos of places we travel, selfies of myself and inspirational don't give up stuff that I tag my friend in who has spinal damage worse than me. Oh and clothes I pin on Pintrest show up on my feed.
I guess because I'm not giving her anything actually worth yelling about she has to attack irrelevant things.
Besides those two photos, that aren't even that bad, she really has zero grounds for the stuff she's said.
She's always focused on all the negative and none of the positive, since I can first remember too.
I'm 26, I figured after 6ish years of not living at home and 1100mi between us I figured she'd be able to talk to me like a normal person.
I don't know what to do.
She's been treating me like she just found me azz up in an alley with a needle dangling out of my arm, a bottle in my hand and some dudes junk in my mouth. Yet this whole thing is over things I hit share to.
What in the world do I say or do?
Or should I just accept my mom is never going to be normal and just find myself another maternal figure in my life?
Man! I am so sorry to hear this story. (although I laughed at some of it, I think you meant it that way).
Unless she may be suffering from a medical condition that makes her nasty here are your options (other than getting her medical help)
**You can either decide to allow her in your life and accept the crazy SH*& she says. Assuming you have already had discussions with her about her treatment of you and TELLING her to stop have failed.
** or you don't have to and stop contact.
I admit one day after much therapy my shrink asked me the same thing and my answer was more like a question. I have the right to cut people out of my life that are mean to me?? My mother is mean to me and I can stop having a relationship with her? Is that even allowed?? It was an epiphany that I had that right. It was pure delightful freedom and a thousand pounds lifted off my back and I could finally smile again. That was almost ten years ago and I still have never been happier. I wish her the best in health and happiness I just don;t want her in my life because she is mean to me....and I'm done with mean people!
If the weight is that heavy, let it go. Otherwise you need to be ok with how she acts and live with it.
What in the firetruck jaded you so much?
And I want more out of life than some mundane job.
I'm willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve these types of goals. That's what I'm doing right now.
And I thought I was negative. That's got dark brah.
As if he left me and I'd never be able to find someone else because brown hair, green eyes, 5'2" and 120 is sooooo unappealing. You have no clue what I look like or my chances of finding someone else and achieving my goals.
Someone's projecting and doesn't even have the courtesy to extend the benefit of the doubt in this situation.
Yikes!
You don't get hugged enough do you?
So rather than listen, you attack.
Yes, you have your looks and are oh-so-cute...now. Trust me, the cute doesn't cut it. And you're still planning to rely upon some guy who will love and support you because you are just so darling looking. In the words of Judge Judy, "Beauty fades but dumb is forever."
As the poster to which you responded above suggested, start doing what you need to do to support yourself. It sure isn't your personality that is going to keep you as an armpiece forever. Some guys actually want a partner in life who is a whole person not just a leach.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Because we've been advising her for 7+ years and every bit of it has been been ignored. Nothing is ever her fault. She has an excuse for everything. If she really wanted advice, she'd take some if it. She wants validation and she's not going to get it from me.
You're right and I'm done with this. Her mother may be going about things the wrong way but after only 7 years on here, I'm ready to scream at her, too.
Yes, you have your looks and are oh-so-cute...now. Trust me, the cute doesn't cut it. And you're still planning to rely upon some guy who will love and support you because you are just so darling looking. In the words of Judge Judy, "Beauty fades but dumb is forever."
As the poster to which you responded above suggested, start doing what you need to do to support yourself. It sure isn't your personality that is going to keep you as an armpiece forever. Some guys actually want a partner in life who is a whole person not just a leach.
You're right and I'm done with this. Her mother may be going about things the wrong way but after only 7 years on here, I'm ready to scream at her, too.
I'm not leaching. He's gone through periods of unemployment while I was working too.
He's cool with us working together. He understands I had pieces of my vertebrae poking into my spinal cord.
He cares about my recovery.
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