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Normally I would tend to agree that the problem is with your mother, but it seems throughout your very short posting history all of your relationship problems/concerns/issues are the fault of others. Perhaps it's time to take a look at yourself, how your react to people, and how you feel about yourself.
I don't read these as a horrible fault by her (and really, the texting thing was more of a corroboration, not out right complaining). It reads as someone who is unsure and sensitive. If I had a mom like this, I would be, too.
Have you ever had counseling to help you navigate the loss of your father and abandonment of your mother? Even now, it might be a positive thing, or at least reading some of the previously suggested books.
Seriously, distance yourself from your mother and focus on your husband and boys.
Normally I would tend to agree that the problem is with your mother, but it seems throughout your very short posting history all of your relationship problems/concerns/issues are the fault of others. Perhaps it's time to take a look at yourself, how your react to people, and how you feel about yourself.
Wow, you had the time to dig up every single one of her posts/replies? I didnt read everything but in text etiquette she was responding to a question about people who do not end their text conversations lol. I havent visited that thread before this, but frankly that annoys the crap out of me too. End the conversation for goodness sakes so I dont have to keep checking my phone!
Wow, you had the time to dig up every single one of her posts/replies? I didnt read everything but in text etiquette she was responding to a question about people who do not end their text conversations lol. I havent visited that thread before this, but frankly that annoys the crap out of me too. End the conversation for goodness sakes so I dont have to keep checking my phone!
I was waiting for that. First, it's a pretty recognizable user name. Second, I have a good memory when it comes to details about people. I can remember odd things about people from decades ago. Finally, she only has 12 posts. It took all of 30 seconds to see them all.
My position remains the same. It's time for the OP to take a long, hard look at how she reacts to people and how to change that. It obviously bothers her enough to consistently complain about people. I believe that we get to choose our reactions to people. They can only bother us if we allow them to do so.
Wow, you had the time to dig up every single one of her posts/replies? I didnt read everything but in text etiquette she was responding to a question about people who do not end their text conversations lol. I havent visited that thread before this, but frankly that annoys the crap out of me too. End the conversation for goodness sakes so I dont have to keep checking my phone!
Honestly, I thought the OP was you. The life stories are almost identical.
Honestly, I thought the OP was you. The life stories are almost identical.
Nah, I would say similar but not identical. These are the type of stories that a lot of people could relate to if you end up with crappy mothers, and in this day and age, there are a ton of them. I guess thats why I posted in the first place, because I do see the similarities between us.
I think the difference between us is that their parents got divorced and she lived with her dad whereas both my parents walked off on me and I was raised by relatives. My nephew (dont know what else to call him, but we are not blood related) also has the same identical fate as me. Mom walked off on him when he was less than 3 years old (1 or 2? I dont remember), he lived with grandparents until he finished elementary and went on to live with his dad. He had a happy ending though because his dad and his dad's side of the family adore him and he's happy to be where he is.
My mom loves to brag about her kids, especially the overachievers. She brags about them to me too. She and my dad split up when I was a baby, and I ended up living with my dad instead. My dad passed away in a car accident right before I graduated high school. I had no financial support in college, and worked 40 hours per work on top of going to school full time. My grades slipped horrendously. I used to be a 4.0 student in high school. Then I met my husband. We dated for 2 years and got married. I was so stressed with the work load plus having to keep up with school so one day I just put my hands up in the air and surrendered "pshh, forget school. I'm taking a break." I always knew that I would go back, after I take a breather.
Well, shortly afterwards, I had my first baby and my second soon followed. I was occupied with the two kiddos and wanted to stay home with them. I worked part time and my husband was (and still is) the primary bread winner. I make good money though gotta say, $27 an hour. At least its good enough for me. So I finally went back to school since last year and my mom is always belittling me, comparing me to my step cousins and now my sister who is a junior in college. She keeps saying that my sister will be finished with school soon, and if I had tried harder, I probably would've had my degree a long time ago. Those words dont help...at all. Yes, I know I've screwed up, but at least I am trying my best now. Its almost like she is putting salt to the wound. I adore my sister, but also dreading the day that she graduates because I wont hear the end of it.
I asked her to babysit the kids so I could go take an exam, and when I came back and stayed for awhile, I heard her talking to my stepdad. My stepdad was surprised that I was back in school and asked my mom what I was studying. She responded absentmindedly "probably examining corpses." Had no idea where she got that from. Basically, despite me going back to school, I am being treated like an outcast just because I didnt graduate on time and took the traditional route. My siblings who grew up with her (from her second marriage) are entitled. They only work 8 hours a week to earn pocket money. They dont pay rent or bills. She brags about how they do well in school. If my dad didnt pass unexpectedly, I'm pretty sure he would've offered me the same lifestyle. In my case, its called tough luck and I just had to do what I needed to do to survive.
Gosh, I wish people, actually its only my mom who's giving me a hard time, other people can care less, would give me a grip.
Your mother sounds like my mother - lol.
(smh)
It sounds to me like your mother is feeling guilty about something... hmmm, wonder what that could be. (hint, hint)...i find it interesting that your dad raised you and not your mother...
You sound like an upstanding person and you have nothing to be ashamed of. So many people put too much emphasis on college degrees these days. You became a mother, and now you're working AND going to school, on top of being a mom...I applaud you.
I have a coworker who is constantly bragging about her daughter. I don't care about her daughter, yet I am forced to know that she is now a physical therapist and a DOCTOR...oh my! I feel sorry for her son, because any time anyone asks about him, her tone instantly changes and she barely talks about him...why? Because he has struggled to find a job in his field. He went to school, graduated, sounds like a good kid, but because he's not a DOCTOR starting his own practice, she's embarrassed by him. I feel sorry for kids of parents like this, including you.
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