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Yep. No such thing as "fur children." Not even close.
I know a family who named every dog they had the exact same name.
Now that's bizarre. I'm a huge dog lover, but I can't stand the term "fur kids," and I hate the term "fur babies" even less. And lately, I've been hearing the phrase, "I've been owned by the breed X or Y," which is just as weird. I'm not owned by a dog, I own the dog. If a dog owns me, that's a big problem I need to address ASAP.
But naming several dogs the same name isn't fair to the dog. A dog is an animal, not a human, but your pet nonetheless, and each should be treated as distinct individuals. Beagle #1 is a completely different dog than Beagle #2 or Beagle #3. Why name each one the same name?
It wouldn't be something I would do but if it works for them...
Re the term "fur kids" or "fur babies". Again, what's the big deal? I have children. I have dogs. I am secure enough with both that I am not bothered by what other people choose to call their pets. Someone calling their dog or cat a "fur kid" does not diminish my children in the least. *shrugs*
Thank you all for your various perspectives and interesting replies!
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Originally Posted by Harpaint
At least he won't get caught calling the dog by the wrong name, which would be more awkward!
That's a good point.
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Originally Posted by Vall
I do know someone who remarried and named his new son the same name as his son from the first marriage. They were both named after the father. First son did not take it well
Yikes!
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Originally Posted by thatswanlady
This is one of those times where you have to take the lead from the person most directly involved. If he says he's fine with it, take it at face value and you all make yourselves fine with it, too.
Me personally? We currently have an 11 year old dog that we love very much and have ever since the moment we adopted her when she was about three years old. We also have two cats, 10 and 9 years old - have had them since they were tiny kittens, and we adore them. They all have "human" names as that's our preference. I could never imagine naming a future child or another pet the same names as these three, but that's just me and to each their own.
Thank you. That's a good point about taking the lead.
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Originally Posted by Utopian Slums
The first bolded makes me sad for the current wife.
And I think if you has a kid with ANYONE, it died, and you named the next the same, that's sick. 1. You don't expect kids to die. 2. S/he would always have to live up to that image or concept.
I don't see a big deal with the dog's name though but with the new wife.... VERY UNCOOL!!
Thank you. I was feeling the same way about it being very uncool and kind of sad for her really. This isn't the first time I've felt she's done something very uncool regarding our family but I kept giving her chances. She's territorial and aggressive and all about her world and their life. She's not very inclusive with members of his family unless it's on her terms and then she complains that no one comes around? It sucks because I'm not sure how to be around her personality sometimes. It can be very abrasive and rub you the wrong way but they have kids together and I want to be part of their life. Yet after an encounter this summer my husband really doesn't like her anymore, but he's friends with my brother, and now I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I don't think my brother's very happy either but I can't put my finger on why exactly. I hope he figures it out.
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Originally Posted by city living
Maybe it isn't awkward at all to him. Maybe it doesn't remind him of his first wife at all. Maybe he just really likes the same and would name any of his future dogs this name. Maybe he feels like the first dog was really his dog and thinks it has no association with the wife.
I do not think this situation would make me feel awkward.
No. I'm sure it does bother him. After the divorce he requested we cut contact with the ex-wife even though he remained on good terms with her parents and had a civil divorce. The first dog was his wife's from childhood. She abandoned it along with their marriage and left him with the dog in his senior years. She said she didn't want anything to do with her former life. Then her Mom came for the dog to ease my brother's pain and suffering and the dog passed away shortly after. He still loved his ex-wife and would have taken her back even after cheating on him. She was the love of his life. That's not something you get over ever. He's still friends with the father and checks on him regularly. He even came to the wedding to the second wife. Their relationship is for another thread really.
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Originally Posted by aquietpath
What a sad tale. Neither party wanted to provide a home to a companion animal that they had for 10 years?????? Gives you an idea of just how much that cat was loved and treated during those 10 years. People like that make me sick.
I feel the same way.
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Originally Posted by maciesmom
It wouldn't be something I would do but if it works for them...
Re the term "fur kids" or "fur babies". Again, what's the big deal? I have children. I have dogs. I am secure enough with both that I am not bothered by what other people choose to call their pets. Someone calling their dog or cat a "fur kid" does not diminish my children in the least. *shrugs*
Thank you. I feel the same way. Some of my friends who can't have children have fur kids and they really believe they are their babies and would do anything for them. They don't understand people who can't see that their pets mean the world to them. Some of my friends have kids and pets and they consider their pets their fur children as well and part of the family. They even take family photos with them. Other friends have pets as a way to make money and they breed them like other livestock they have on some land. They also hunt and treat their pets like animals. So there are all various spectrums to the relationships of people and their pets and people and their children.
For this couple I'd say for them it's the 2.5 kids ratio. They have their kids and then their fur kid. At the same time it's more of a pet than a child and I guess that's why it's ok with my brother that he's not bothered by the same name thing. Still I wish they would have considered how the same name would make the rest of the family feel. That my brother is a wimp for not speaking up for himself by nixing the one name that shouldn't be used and letting his wife dominate. Then again I also suspect that he's an avoidance to arguments type and maybe she has some insecurities about the first marriage and would question why it bothers him personally because she obviously doesn't care that it bothers his family. I'm pretty sure we're not even an after thought on her radar most of the time. For example, his side of the family wasn't invited to the wedding except for some immediate family. I don't think she even wanted me there and because I felt that way I didn't feel it was right I was even going but my Mom dragged me along. When the kids were born she definitely didn't want anyone else there and gave us this glowering look when we came in to see the baby.
I'm thinking maybe I should listen to my husband and let this be the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. I'll just stay away and shut up and not have anything to do with them and their family for the next 13 -15 years of their dogs life. I'll miss the kids growing up but that's really the way they seem to want it to be honest. I've tried for many years to make it work and at some point you have to take the message and walk away. I give up. :shrugs:
My brother and his now ex-wife had a dog together for over a decade. It was a bad break up. He got really depressed and suicidal about it.
My brother remarried and his new wife of seven years just got a puppy for their family. She picked the same name for this dog as my brother and his ex-wife's dog.
This is the second time my brother has a dog this name.
Everyone that knew him and the first wife and their dog is feeling awkward about the obvious comparison here.
We're thinking he didn't say anything to his current wife about it. His reply to us when asked was that he chooses not to live in the past and the name fits the dog, but now he's brought the past forward and is going to be reminded of the first wife and their dog every damn day for the next decade or so.
That's not awkward at all!
I'm perplexed.
If you had a child with your first partner and named it a certain name. Then you got divorced from that person and remarried and had another child with this second partner would you name the second child the same name as your first child? Out of all the dog names in the world why the same name?
What's your take?
I thought you meant choosing your own dog's name. I didn't realize you meant analyzing someone else's choice of name.
Now that's bizarre. I'm a huge dog lover, but I can't stand the term "fur kids," and I hate the term "fur babies" even less. And lately, I've been hearing the phrase, "I've been owned by the breed X or Y," which is just as weird. I'm not owned by a dog, I own the dog. If a dog owns me, that's a big problem I need to address ASAP.
But naming several dogs the same name isn't fair to the dog. A dog is an animal, not a human, but your pet nonetheless, and each should be treated as distinct individuals. Beagle #1 is a completely different dog than Beagle #2 or Beagle #3. Why name each one the same name?
I HATE that "fur baby" crap too! But what I hate more is that drug commercial with the words "sleep " and "wake" looking like pets. IT LOOKS SADISTIC!! If any "fur anything" looked like that, I would NOT be sleeping!!
I disagree about the names because the dog won't *know* it's got the same name. Not something I'd do myself but I might do something like if Fluffy died, and my next cat reminded me of her, call him "Fluf Deux" or "Fluffarina" or "Fluff the Second."
Honestly, sometimes when my cat is being cute and dumb, i call her "my special needs kitty" in a slurry "special needs like voice." She loves it!!
I also know a dog named "Little Bit" because he reminds them a little bit of the one before!
This isn't the first time I've felt she's done something very uncool regarding our family but I kept giving her chances. She's territorial and aggressive and all about her world and their life. She's not very inclusive with members of his family unless it's on her terms and then she complains that no one comes around? It sucks becau
For this couple I'd say for them it's the 2.5 kids ratio. They have their kids and then their fur kid. At the same time it's more of a pet than a child and I guess that's why it's ok with my brother that he's not bothered by the same name thing. Still I wish they would have considered how the same name would make the rest of the family feel. That my brother is a wimp for not speaking up for himself by nixing the one name that shouldn't be used and letting his wife dominate. Then again I also suspect that he's an avoidance to arguments type and maybe she has some insecurities about the first marriage and would question why it bothers him personally because she obviously doesn't care that it bothers his family. I'm pretty sure we're not even an after thought on her radar most of the time. For example, his side of the family wasn't invited to the wedding except for some immediate family. I don't think she even wanted me there and because I felt that way I didn't feel it was right I was even going but my Mom dragged me along. When the kids were born she definitely didn't want anyone else there and gave us this glowering look when we came in to see the baby.
I'm thinking maybe I should listen to my husband and let this be the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. I'll just stay away and shut up and not have anything to do with them and their family for the next 13 -15 years of their dogs life. I'll miss the kids growing up but that's really the way they seem to want it to be honest. I've tried for many years to make it work and at some point you have to take the message and walk away. I give up. :shrugs:
The second wife married your brother, not his family. Brother says its OK for the dogs to have the same names.
Believe him.
You are too far into your brother's marriage. It seems that she is trying to maintain a boundary between her marriage and the rest of his family. There is nothing wrong with that. It's time for you to back off and respect their choices.
You are considering breaking off communication with your brother and his family over a dogs name? Why not just stay out of their business. You can be friendly without second guessing everything they do.
My brother and his now ex-wife had a dog together for over a decade. It was a bad break up. He got really depressed and suicidal about it.
My brother remarried and his new wife of seven years just got a puppy for their family. She picked the same name for this dog as my brother and his ex-wife's dog.
This is the second time my brother has a dog this name.
Everyone that knew him and the first wife and their dog is feeling awkward about the obvious comparison here.
We're thinking he didn't say anything to his current wife about it. His reply to us when asked was that he chooses not to live in the past and the name fits the dog, but now he's brought the past forward and is going to be reminded of the first wife and their dog every damn day for the next decade or so.
That's not awkward at all!
I'm perplexed.
If you had a child with your first partner and named it a certain name. Then you got divorced from that person and remarried and had another child with this second partner would you name the second child the same name as your first child? Out of all the dog names in the world why the same name?
What's your take?
My take is that it does not mater to the dog. I love dogs more than anything, but I have never sat around thinking about what to name our dogs - or "fur children".
Dogs don't care what their names are. If you have a dog named Tuffy - shout Fluffy - he'll still come.
OP, you never posted that the dog's name is. Maybe it's a name commonly given to dogs, in which case there wouldnt be anything strange about the second wife using that name for their dog.
And, regardless, your brother said it doesnt bother him and he wants to move forward with his life. So, personally, I think you should MYOB and be happy for him.
Still I wish they would have considered how the same name would make the rest of the family feel. That my brother is a wimp for not speaking up for himself by nixing the one name that shouldn't be used and letting his wife dominate. Then again I also suspect that he's an avoidance to arguments type and maybe she has some insecurities about the first marriage and would question why it bothers him personally because she obviously doesn't care that it bothers his family. I'm pretty sure we're not even an after thought on her radar most of the time. For example, his side of the family wasn't invited to the wedding except for some immediate family. I don't think she even wanted me there and because I felt that way I didn't feel it was right I was even going but my Mom dragged me along. When the kids were born she definitely didn't want anyone else there and gave us this glowering look when we came in to see the baby.
I'm thinking maybe I should listen to my husband and let this be the last nail in the coffin of our relationship. I'll just stay away and shut up and not have anything to do with them and their family for the next 13 -15 years of their dogs life. I'll miss the kids growing up but that's really the way they seem to want it to be honest. I've tried for many years to make it work and at some point you have to take the message and walk away. I give up. :shrugs:
You are way to invested in your brother's marriage. Why would his wife even think to consider how their dog's name is going to make the rest of the family feel?! When I got my last dog, I named him. I asked my SO if he was good with the name, and that was that. I did not consult either of our families to see what they might think of the dog's name, because it has nothing to do with them.
You might think its strange that the dog has the same name as some other dog, but as long as they are both okay with it, that is all that matters.
To decide that you are not going to talk to your brother for 15 years, to not see your nieces/nephews.. because of their dog's name? Now that is strange. I really doubt the dog's name is them sending a message to you to stay away.
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