I'm judged by how I speak? (husband, male, present, retiring)
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No, you can't expect people to "understand your viewpoints" by using your tone of voice. Your job is to express yourself in a way that people will be open to listening to you, whether they "understand your viewpoints" or not.
Now, It's true that people judge us by the words we use, and I'm quite articulate. But I was told by a couple of people that I "sound mean", in that I have the propensity to be mean and cruel and yell at people. I'm a teddy bear, and just about everybody who knows me will say that I'm a really nice guy - but I was told by these folks (those who said that I sounded mean) that I have a bit too much "bearing" in my way of talking. A little background: I'm New York born-and-bred, still have the New York tone, even though I haven't lived there in 30 years. I'm a little hurt in that some people may think I'm mean! Get to know someone before you judge them.
Just on the fact that you used the word "propensity", I would sense that you give off the vibe of being seen as mean or condescending. That is what I visualize when I read your post and it had this word in it. If I was talking to you and you said that in our conversation it would come off as sounding that way to me. For example you say to me that "I have the propensity for giving long speeches." I would be thinking what the f**k is this guy talking about and how dare he say these big a$$ words to me in an informal conversation. Do you think you are better than me or something?
No, I don't think I'm better than anyone. Actually, I'm around egotists who may think they are better than me. Just yesterday, I dealt with someone who kept repeating a directive over and over; I let it go but when I get the impression that someone thinks I'm stupid, yeah, I'm gonna speak in a thick, heavy tone.
Larry, Moe, & Curly were rich, famous for playing stooges. I'm nobody's stooge!
I really don't think it's your voice, it's the way you use it. You admit to having a temper, being required to take anger management, etc. Amd then use phrases like "I want them to understand my viewpoint" etc. You are likely a bit of a verbal bully and intimidate people. But good news, this is something you can change about yourself if you are willing to put some work in and be self reflective.
No, I don't think I'm better than anyone. Actually, I'm around egotists who may think they are better than me. Just yesterday, I dealt with someone who kept repeating a directive over and over; I let it go but when I get the impression that someone thinks I'm stupid, yeah, I'm gonna speak in a thick, heavy tone.
Larry, Moe, & Curly were rich, famous for playing stooges. I'm nobody's stooge!
How so? I'm not trying to be sarcastic here, I'm reading your posts and trying to learn something.
Well it was aggressive in the way you declared you wouldn't be a stooge...your choices of bolding specific words, your assersion other people are aggressive, not you. Showing a lack of ability to cope with someone repeating a directive (come on, suck it up, control your anger here).
I just ask that people understand my viewpoints. In my way of thinking, I could be wrong in what I bring to the table (and at times I am), but what if I'm right?
You aren't. You sound like an opinionated boor who demands attention and insists that you are right no matter what.
I'm around egotists who may think they are better than me.
They are, if they are mature adults who don't have the propensity to get loud and angry over stupid sh*t.
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