The much-despised "ma'am" word (females, personality, mother, males)

[bus man]

Originally Posted by ocnjgirl

I don't like it, in fact I hate it, but I don't get "bent out of shape" nor do I say anything (except a store clerk several months ago, who managed to use the word "ma'am" to me like 15 times in a 3 minute transaction and I finally said "please stop with the Ma'am's already)

Normally I say nothing, but I DO give a "thanks for that" when a clerk calls me "miss". I also give a secret extra bonus tip if the server calls me Miss.

Of course, the clerk or the server are in a no-win situation, because there are other women who would be annoyed at being called "Miss."

All this reminds me of one time when I was on one of those small commuter planes, and we were being served by a young flight attendant, probably in her early 20s. When she was taking drink orders, the middle-aged gentleman sitting next to me addressed her as "ma'am," and she playfully said something to the effect of "I'm too young to be called ma'am." So then she asked me what I wanted, and I said with a grin, "I'll have a Coke . . . ma'am." She probably wanted to throw me right off the plane!

[ocnjgirl]

Originally Posted by bus man

Of course, the clerk or the server are in a no-win situation, because there are other women who would be annoyed at being called "Miss."

All this reminds me of one time when I was on one of those small commuter planes, and we were being served by a young flight attendant, probably in her early 20s. When she was taking drink orders, the middle-aged gentleman sitting next to me addressed her as "ma'am," and she playfully said something to the effect of "I'm too young to be called ma'am." So then she asked me what I wanted, and I said with a grin, "I'll have a Coke . . . ma'am." She probably wanted to throw me right off the plane!

Most don't....at a local convenience store I once said "thanks for the Miss" when the young man behind the counter called me Miss...he responded "I used to say Ma'am but I got tired of getting yelled at.

Even in the nursing home I work in, I will refer to someone as "young man" or "young lady" and they love it. What's wrong with making someone feel flattered in an exchange?

If I worked a tip job, I would call every female "Miss" even if they were elderly.

[Bungalove]

I live in the South and also worked for the military for over 20 years, so using "Sir" and "Ma'am" towards others is second nature for me. It used to bother me a little when "I" was called "Ma'am", but at age 65 now I've certainly earned the honorific. What really tickles me though, is when an older gentleman refers to me as "young lady". That always brightens my day.

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by ocnjgirl

Even in the nursing home I work in, I will refer to someone as "young man" or "young lady" and they love it. What's wrong with making someone feel flattered in an exchange?

Because not everyone would find it flattering, even though just like you they may not say anything about it. Personally I would hate that from a younger person. When I hear my coworkers talk like that to our elderly patients I cringe a little bit because it seems so patronizing.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by DubbleT

Because not everyone would find it flattering, even though just like you they may not say anything about it. Personally I would hate that from a younger person. When I hear my coworkers talk like that to our elderly patients I cringe a little bit because it seems so patronizing.

Bingo. If someone called me "Miss" I would momentarily feel like they were being patronizing, clueless, strange, or just pandering for a tip (if they were a server).

It would seem a bit absurd to me.

That being said, I certainly wouldn't make an issue out of it, externally OR internally. It would just be a passing "note to self" in my mind, as in, "Wow, that was weird, but it beats a hot poker in the eye."

Life's too short to walk around perpetually offended by words that most people realize are simply an effort at being polite. Sheeze!

[Fox Terrier]

Originally Posted by Bungalove

What really tickles me though, is when an older gentleman refers to me as "young lady". That always brightens my day.

That's funny, I'm just the opposite! There was an older man at work who would always address me as 'young lady'. I think he was a maintenance guy, or something.

I absolutely hated that! See me? I am not young! haha

I even told him to stop using that term, but he wouldn't! OK, he's just doing it to be annoying, I thought.

Bah!

So, yes, servers must have a rough time addressing women. I would not be offended either way, except for instances similar to the above example.

[Ultrarunner]

Originally Posted by ocnjgirl

Most don't....at a local convenience store I once said "thanks for the Miss" when the young man behind the counter called me Miss...he responded "I used to say Ma'am but I got tired of getting yelled at.

Even in the nursing home I work in, I will refer to someone as "young man" or "young lady" and they love it. What's wrong with making someone feel flattered in an exchange?

If I worked a tip job, I would call every female "Miss" even if they were elderly.

A little off topic... I was traveling with my brother and his family... as we were leaving the hotel there was an elderly man with a cane at the bus stop sitting on the bench... my almost 4 year old perky niece said in a perky and clear vice... "Hello there young man... how are you today?"

The fellow was so moved and started to cry... said no one has called him a young man in 70 years... she said this little girl must be an angel...

We had to explain to her that he was crying tears of joy and was not sad...

Amazing the power of words...

[brava4]

so not a big deal for me.

[SVTLightning]

Originally Posted by NewbieHere

I can understand when they don't know the person's name. But I've been in situation when two guys were talking to each other and they called each other sir to their face. I've been called ma'am to my face and in email. When I complained about being called ma'am, I was told it's a polite thing, as if it's impolite to call by name, it baffled me, who made up these rules. If I had worked for Steve Jobs, I would refer to him as simply Steve and not Mr. Job.

I can not understand people getting upset by being called sir or ma'am lol


It must be very nice world people live in when they find something so trivial to be complaining about.

[KathrynAragon]

I'll tell you what was driving me a little batty the other day (not that it was a long drive): I had a telemarketer calling me about health insurance (don't get me started on that topic), and since I was still trying, rather unsuccessfully, to find a decent policy, I talked with him for awhile. But after about the sixth time he called me "sweetheart," I hung up on him.

He sounded like he was about 40 but who knows how old he was - anyway, he wasn't an OLD guy, which might be about the only age group I might let get away with that. But why would any man conducting business, or trying to, think it was acceptable to call a woman "sweetheart?"

Yuck.