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I don't have the patience for unreliable people. If I tell you I will be somewhere at a certain time or date I will be there. I expect you to do the same. Your friend is inconsiderate and a time waster. I had a new friend that would constantly cancel plans to do something at the last minute. She wasn't around too long. I ended that friendship after the third or fourth time she did it. I wouldn't be mean about ending your friendship. She may very well be a very busy person and absent minded. Sometimes nice people get overwhelmed, over booked and forget to do things. If she asks you to do something in the future just be too busy. I like leaving doors open and people change. If it was something spontaneous like I'm here at XYZ coffee shop come and join me I probably would if it was convenient. We teach people how to treat us and your friend needs to learn to respect that you are not there just for her convenience.
I think the bolded part is beyond rude. She should have said "I would like to include my husband is that OK?". Also sounds like she isn't too bright as you have passes. I don't care how well off someone is, most people like to save a buck when they can.
With the second one, that is just ridiculous. As High Flying Bird said this is one of the "busy busies" as I call them, they have tons of acquaintances but no real friends. Even the President could find time to have coffee with someone who asked before the end of the year, what nonsense.
I'd figure with someone who is always too busy for me, so busy she has to stand me up for events we planned, that tells me loud and clear where I stand in her list of priorities. Who needs her?
The problem with being honest and telling people you're upset with them and why, if they ever do contact you again, is that they are usually on the defensive and will not respond because they know they're in the wrong and they have no comeback that justifies their behavior. Your comment to them will be the final one in the "relationship"—unless that person messed up unintentionally like missing a date by just forgetting. But when someone doesn't tell you the date with you is off, and you find out by finally asking if it's still on, and further that the s/he has gone on to make plans with someone else....
I dropped a longtime female friend last year because the night before our planned event together she emailed me to say she'd rather go to a different event with someone else, a last-minute date with a guy (the guy part was a later explanation, by email). I did let her know kindly that her behavior was offensive and quietly decided to edge away. There are apparently a lot of people out there who constantly calculate their social engagements and rate them one over another. With these kinds of people, and thankfully I now know only two, I'd rather take a walk alone with my dogs. (I have a spouse, so thankfully I'm not lonely.)
The "overly busy friend" is a front for people with insecurities. They have to always seem busy and important. But they avoid real connection at all costs. They might have 200 acquaintances but 0 friends. Not worth the time and effort to pin down.
The one who made a plan and then changed plans to go with her husband without letting you know is beyond friendship...unless there was a miscommunication? In that case, I'd give her a second chance.
I just back away from people like that and stop talking to them. It's not like voicing your concerns will affect them or prompt them to change their behavior. If they were conscientious and considerate, they wouldn't have flaked like that in the first place. They're not worth the energy.
What would you do with a "friend" who keeps saying "let's do something together" but has her calendar too full all the time to pin anything down with you? Keep trying or cut off the relationship?
Another "friend" recently asked me by email, with enthusiasm, to go on a day trip and I procured the passes for where we were going. Didn't hear from her for many days. I emailed her today and find out she's decided to go with her husband and that "maybe we can go in the future." She didn't bother to let me know.
I'm retired, don't have the patience for this BS!
The "too full" friend - I have a bunch of those. I let it slide because it isnt personal and they are there for the important things in my life. Overall they are dependable when making a plan, it is just getting them to commit in the first place. Plus I've been friends with the ones I'm thinking of for 20+ years and they have always been consistent.
The flake friend I cant handle. I wouldnt make real plans again. If they invite me to their house for a dinner party though I'd probably go. I just do not like unreliable ppl - makes me nuts.
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