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I don't put much stock in first impressions. And I usually know exactly why I don't like someone. My best friend is someone that a lot of people don't like upon first meeting her. She can come off as cold, crude and insensitive. But she is also one of the most ethical and giving people that I know. Anyone who really takes the time to get to know her ends up absolutely adoring her.
I don't put much stock in first impressions. And I usually know exactly why I don't like someone. My best friend is someone that a lot of people don't like upon first meeting her. She can come off as cold, crude and insensitive. But she is also one of the most ethical and giving people that I know. Anyone who really takes the time to get to know her ends up absolutely adoring her.
I used to trust my initial reactions but then I grew up and realized the basis for discrimination of all kinds is based on fear of the unfamiliar. Now I try very hard to have a true basis for forming an exclusionary opinion before I rule out someone.
I moved to the Dallas area in the 70's when the city wasn't as cosmopolitan. My in-laws disliked me because I was "too Yankee" and to this day some of the original unfair bias against me with that group lingers. It wasn't fair then and it is even less fair now. I am a very kind person and have encountered cultural bias many times. I truly believe sometimes when one "can't put my finger on" why the dislike, its just a dissonance that has no basis to the individual's character.
For me it's what come out of peoples mouths and their sense of doing what is right.
Generally, I don't like anyone who subscribes to ideologies of either the extreme left or extreme right. I am a centrist, and am open to differing opinions but I hate the spreading of ignorant ideas not based in fact. I don't like hyperbolic speech.
2 examples
Right: "Obama is destroying this country, and he is going to confiscate our guns."
Left: "Cops are bunch of thugs and murderers who hate people of color."
or even if it isn't political:
2 examples.
"Christians are a bunch of anti-science morons who are stupid enough to believe in an imaginary sky man controlling everything."
"Atheists are immoral sodomites and the homosexual agenda is destroying the fabric of this nation."
MOST people I interact with in family, neighborhood, church and work settings are average. They are fine, just average people, who I don't like or dislike.
But there are some people I am forced to interact with I just don't like. Something about them just bugs me. I can't put my finger on exactly what I don't like about them, but I find their personality and persona just negative. They don't insult me verbally, they don't physically hurt me, they don't try to discredit me, or lie or cheat. But something about them just irks me. I just don't like them.
Do you have people you just don't care for but struggle to understand why?
Unless you have innate biases towards certain people or mannerisms (you would know this, I wouldn't because I do not know you), then I believe it is your instincts kicking in. Intuition/instinct/gut feelings about people are important (if this is truly what's happening).
You'll have to take notice if there are certain manners of speech, certain clothes worn, certain mannerisms in the people that you don't like. If there are, more than likely it is a bias. If there aren't, those are your instincts talking to you and warning you so take heed (lol). Most people who step out into the world put their best faces forward. You'd be surprised at how people grow up and what goes on behind closed doors to the average person.
Trust your instincts regarding people. I don't believe they will lead you astray.
I can pretty much tell within the first five minutes whether I will or should have anything more to do with that person....
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