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Is there a polite way to ask my roommate (also technically my landlady though - I pay my rent to her ea month) to stop asking me re: starting salary for a new job (which I already told her, is more hourly salary than last job..) I have lived here only three months and have paid my rent early ea month (plus the security deposit) so there have been no issues, in that regard. We work for the same company (kind of), but different locations, but basically the same role...I believe she is getting a raise Jan 1 (I will not get a raise until I work there for a number of months...)
salary is sort of a "sort spot" w me, in this job only because (and I wonder if she senses this...and does this just to be mean? you know, human nature- pick on the weak one to feel better about oneself...I am just the "poor renter" in this housing situ ) yes, it is more hourly salary but at the same time, I was hired at the "minimum" that they start people at...(Also, a simple "Glassdoor" google search - and landlord/roommate could easily look up my salary range...she doesn't need to ask me...she could just be polite, in that regard) When I went to my interview, I had the flu bug (should I have rescheduled?) I guess I was just kind of weak that day and didn't have very much "fight" in me...So when it came to salary negotiations I just got taken to the cleaners...kinda my fault b/c - I did not research online what the range was...plus I thought they would offer me something better, due to my experience and being such a reliable employee at other location (HA HA, I am so naive!!) So, they gouged me starting salary and I accepted. In a number of months though, I will be back up to making decent.
Anyhow, I am not sure how to tell her to stop asking me how much I make. Like I said, could easily google search it. There is no reason she could be nervous I will not pay my rent on time - I know how to budget and if she checked my last several rental references, she would know that I never paid late for any of those places. I think she just does it to be mean/degrading...but like I said it is sore spot with me...I should have negotiated better...
Thank you for your time and/or thoughts/suggestions.
This is really cynical of me, but is she asking because she maybe wants to increase the amount you pay her each month now that you make more? One would hope not, and that you have a proper lease, etc etc, but that was the first thing I thought given how you described her (your roommate who is technically your landlady).
Then I thought how the only person I discuss detailed money things with is my husband and no way in hell would I tell my roommate/landlady anything about it. So I would just say "Thanks for asking, but I'm not going to discuss this any further. What do you think of this drastic change in weather?" or some other abrupt subject change.
I think that this, combined with your Thanksgiving thread, are a sign that you need to learn how to deal with questions that you don't want to answer and topics you don't want to discuss.
The easiest way is to ask, "Why do you ask?"
If they persist, you escalate to, "I'm just surprised you would even ask that," if it's something they really should know better than to ask, like your salary.
You can Google it and find lots of helpful sites with info on how to be assertive. Avoidance is not a solution.
I see a red flag here, OP. You say she works for the same company, in a different location, but similar level job? My take is that she's fishing to find out if you make more than her. She's being competitive with you. If she found out the company is paying you more, it could affect your relationship with her negatively.
You've gotten some good advice about taking evasive action. Another option along those lines is to say that you've been told that the company frowns on employees talking about their salaries with other employees. If she doesn't believe you, that's her problem. Stick to your guns. Or you could say you were raised to not discuss personal finances with others (so tacky!), and you're not comfortable with that.
You have a menu of responses. Pick one. Be firm. Good luck!
Ugh, yes...I agree with several things posted here (already)
1. I am suspicious that she wants to raise rent. esp. if she knows that I will make more than her (in a couple months) There is another room in this house, currently vacant but it is the same price ( the young lady who was living in the other room moved out, because of some problems she was having with the people here) My room is actually the larger of the two, though in some ways that room is better (better view) Utilities in this area have skyrocketed, in one area in particular -water/sewer (***but I do not know if this applies to her...I just read about it online) and my utilities are included in my monthly rent.
I did a search on craigslist just now, this is priced at the lower end.
there are four people who live here total, the mother and two daughters. Interesting note - neither of the daughters work. (both adults) nor attend college.
2. Well, I will make more than her in 3-4 months, definitely, for sure... I may make more than her now...I am not sure (which is probably why she is prying me so much..) It is a different location, and I am paid through a different "pot" I will just have to think of something to say, I googled searched it..one suggestion was, "I only discuss finances with a my spouse." (not that I have a spouse..)
I see a red flag here, OP. You say she works for the same company, in a different location, but similar level job? My take is that she's fishing to find out if you make more than her. She's being competitive with you. If she found out the company is paying you more, it could affect your relationship with her negatively.
You've gotten some good advice about taking evasive action. Another option along those lines is to say that you've been told that the company frowns on employees talking about their salaries with other employees. If she doesn't believe you, that's her problem. Stick to your guns. Or you could say you were raised to not discuss personal finances with others (so tacky!), and you're not comfortable with that.
You have a menu of responses. Pick one. Be firm. Good luck!
"I was raised not to discuss personal finances with others." Gonna go with that one...Next time landlady asks, that is going to be my answer..thanks ; )
i think I will just stay here until I can afford my own place though... I don't want to move again because my bed was very difficult to get up the stairs, Ha! (I am on the second floor of the house, currently all by myself...the other spare bedroom is vacant, so it is very quiet..) I am relatively new in town, so I think I just need to make some more friends/acquaintances outside of living situation...
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