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Old 12-15-2015, 03:49 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
7,629 posts, read 15,289,707 times
Reputation: 18743

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I just lost my precious baby sister to cancer. She was a widow, and her only child is married with kids and a job living hours away from here, so I was her primary care giver.

Her TWIN, that lived less than 5 minutes from her house was not there for her very own twin...that self absorbed.

Last time I saw her was at the funeral (which she showed up late for) and I hope that is the last time I ever see her.

Had to stay in contact with her up until or momma passed away, but the way she treated her own twin as she was in need of assistance/help in her struggle with cancer made it very easy for me to realize she is NOT someone that adds anything positive to my life. Actually, the lack of her "constant drama" has really been quite nice these past 6 months.
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Old 12-15-2015, 06:11 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
6,321 posts, read 5,490,351 times
Reputation: 9799
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara_319 View Post
Long Story Short, my older brother visited me this weekend. He's always been very jealous of me, due to my professional success, but I've still tried to keep the lines of communication open. Unfortunately, throughout the weekend, w/out fail, he attempted to belittle me. I really should have asked him to leave, but instead, I tried to be gracious. In the end, he continued to demean me, to the point that I no longer wish to communicate, ever gain.

His b-day is coming up, but I don't plan on buying him a gift or a card, because we do not have any relationship. Am I wrong for wanting nothing to do with him, ever again?

"Wrong" is pretty subjective. In general, it is not healthy to continue to be close to someone who seems to be *deliberately* causing you pain. (It might be different if he couldn't help it due to addiction, depression, a stoke, etc.)

He sounds like an insecure Ahole (are you better looking than him or is he bitter you got more attention from the parentals?)

At least have a talk w him about WHY you dislike him. You owe it to both of you and the relationship. Make your decision based on his response to your feelings and make sure you know if he is honest in his response. Then be honest in yours.
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Old 12-15-2015, 07:41 AM
 
35,953 posts, read 24,249,820 times
Reputation: 60002
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalCpl2 View Post
I haven't spoken to my youngest sister in over 10 years... Visited my mom last summer ans she and my wife said why not try and talk to her.. I tried she basically gave the FO look and that was that...

I really cannot believe people on here think you should keep a toxic or bad relationship even with family just because they are family....
I don't think any of said that. Several of us suggested she actually talk to him about it and see if it can be worked out though, which is hardly the same thing. It's not like he's beating her or something where she shouldn't even try to see if the relationship can be salvaged before cutting him off.
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Aloverton
6,564 posts, read 13,311,893 times
Reputation: 10112
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalCpl2 View Post
I really cannot believe people on here think you should keep a toxic or bad relationship even with family just because they are family....
I deplore it, though I believe it, for it is the social norm. The normal person is the one who plays along with familial abuse. The weirdo is the one who takes a stand, and the entire family bands together in most cases, because the one who takes a stand sends a shiver through the entire toxic edifice.

In some of our cases, it's drummed in quite openly. Our house growing up was more or less a constant struggle. In a peaceful time after one of the battles, I asked my father why it was that a family, supposedly about love, was so cruel to one another. He explained that this was how family was, that it tolerated all mistreatment eternally. I now realize he was grooming me not to either desert or punish him when I reached maturity. He was right, to the extent that often that's exactly how family is. But to my real question, which was whether we ourselves had to emulate it...that question, he had ignored. He had bad outcomes from that.
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:22 AM
 
62,342 posts, read 48,325,153 times
Reputation: 38608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara_319 View Post
Long Story Short, my older brother visited me this weekend. He's always been very jealous of me, due to my professional success, but I've still tried to keep the lines of communication open. Unfortunately, throughout the weekend, w/out fail, he attempted to belittle me. I really should have asked him to leave, but instead, I tried to be gracious. In the end, he continued to demean me, to the point that I no longer wish to communicate, ever gain.

His b-day is coming up, but I don't plan on buying him a gift or a card, because we do not have any relationship. Am I wrong for wanting nothing to do with him, ever again?
Insufficient information, for all we know the problem is actually with you....or both of you...or neither...or all his fault.

We can't possibly help you with this decision and I suspect you are just fishing for uninformed internet validation.

Don't you have anyone closer to the situation who has seen both sides and can give you some guidance?

Frankly, I opened the thread expecting to hear how he's a crack-head and stole from you....yet again....or something pretty bad.
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Old 12-15-2015, 02:04 PM
 
215 posts, read 163,184 times
Reputation: 276
Cara_319

Leave the lines of communication open and have a gift card ready but you don't have to give him it. Just have it on hand so you can say later, "Sorry I haven't had the chance to hang out bro, been kind of busy. I have something for you I meant to give you on Christmas."

That's the best thing I can think of.
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