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I answer questions nicely unless I feel they are idiotic questions. Most of the time, people will answer with what I would have said, so I don't reply but I will give them a rep point.
I also answer other people's replies nicely unless they get snarly or sarcastic with me or someone else. Then I tend to give them a dose of their own medicine.
It could be just that someone is having a bad day when they respond, it could be that they had something similar happen to them so they take the question very personally, they could just be jerks, they could have misunderstood the question or any number of reasons.
however, it is my opinion that most (not all, but most) of the people who respond are really trying to be helpful and nice to the poster. the only time when i do not see that is when someone extremely naïve/young/immature/self-centered starts a thread or the question/situation is so "off the wall" that a typical reader can not relate at all or the poster shots down every legitimate, appropriate bit of advice that they disagree with.
People here, for the most part, are taking time out of their day to help you. You, who are asking for advice from strangers.
You - week after week, month after month - ignore all the advice, and you keep posting the same things over and over.
The helpful people get a bit testy, which is understandable.
Also, when you post on a message board for advice, people HAVE to make a judgment on the situation!
If you don't want that, don't post on message boards.
Seek out a therapist and/or a support group instead.
I have never seen a first time poster or any poster for that matter post a thread and I instantly fire off a crappy post. I usually save the "mean and judgmental" posts for when they turn out to be people that clearly don't want solutions, as evident by changing their story, or adding details that they want to sway readers to be on their side.
I've seen that far far more times than someone coming on here taking advice and following up with a yay or nay that it was helpful. That rarely happens.
Also I'd say that about 80 percent of the threads here are BS, at least over in the Relationships forum. This one is seems to have a few more "legit" appearing threads. I could be wrong but that's how it appears to me.
The judgy part is self-evident. You ask a public forum for help or have questions, of course you are going to get judgments, that's just how the world works, sooner you accept that, the easier at night you'll sleep.
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