Handling a Hypersensitive Person (member, meeting, toxic)
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There is a girl at the place I volunteer who is in her very early 20s. She is a nice person, but very sensitive and prone to easily feeling hurt/victimized. I have witnessed many times her taking something personally when it was not meant that way, then shutting the "mean" person out and acting sulky for long periods of time.
The other day, I must have looked at her wrong or something (unintentional), because now it seems I'm on the "mean" list. She will not make eye contact with me and her reaction is far out of proportion. It feels like she's trying to punish me for some great offense, when a great offense didn't happen.
There is a girl at the place I volunteer who is in her very early 20s. She is a nice person, but very sensitive and prone to easily feeling hurt/victimized. I have witnessed many times her taking something personally when it was not meant that way, then shutting the "mean" person out and acting sulky for long periods of time.
The other day, I must have looked at her wrong or something (unintentional), because now it seems I'm on the "mean" list. She will not make eye contact with me and her reaction is far out of proportion. It feels like she's trying to punish me for some great offense, when a great offense didn't happen.
How would you handle this?
Tell her to grow up and that it's not about her all the damned time. Because people like that are, in fact, ego centric. They see every single comment to which they take umbrage as a personal declaration of war on who they are. They are also, as a general rule, ungenerous people who are looking for faults in others, which is why they can't take innocent remarks and perhaps ascribe innocent intentions.
Jeez. I'm a pretty considerate guy. It is very rarely that I even inadvertently say something that offends anyone. But at the same time, I refuse to walk around on eggshells because someone can't handle adult life.
There is a girl at the place I volunteer who is in her very early 20s. She is a nice person, but very sensitive and prone to easily feeling hurt/victimized. I have witnessed many times her taking something personally when it was not meant that way, then shutting the "mean" person out and acting sulky for long periods of time.
The other day, I must have looked at her wrong or something (unintentional), because now it seems I'm on the "mean" list. She will not make eye contact with me and her reaction is far out of proportion. It feels like she's trying to punish me for some great offense, when a great offense didn't happen.
How would you handle this?
^^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat
She wants you to ask what you've done to offend her. Don't do it.
She's not sensitive. She's manipulative.
Don't engage. She wants drama. Don't provide it.
You beat me to it!
Ignore her. If she doesn't ever speak to you again, consider yourself blessed. These kinds of people are toxic.
Ignore her. If she doesn't ever speak to you again, consider yourself blessed. These kinds of people are toxic.
Yep. I worked with someone like that.
Once in staff meeting, I said something pretty innocuous. This woman immediately pipes up and says, "That offends me!" To which I replied immediately, "What doesn't? I'd really like to know."
She left the staff meeting. Another woman across the conference room table said, "Thank God someone finally said it."
That person quit soon afterwards. No one missed her.
She's not "sensitive". She's self-absorbed, immature, and possibly crazy.
As others have advised, limit your interactions with her and do not take the bait. If possible, make sure all or your interactions with her are witnessed. People like that are unpredictable, so there's no telling what they will say or do or make up to create a sensation or attract attention to themselves.
So this woman is a... What? Another volunteer, a staff member, a client? And what is your relationship to her - are you her supervisor, case worker, CO worker? Cause the background and details would make a difference. If this is some sort of "helo" center, and she is there as a client and you ad a volunteer case worker /mentor, then my answer would be different than if you are both volunteers.
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