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You agreed to do something for your friend, then backed out at the last minute for your own convenience. How would you feel if she had done that to you? You really do appear to have behaved very selfishly. Even though being without internet for a weekend isn't an end-of-the world situation, you gave your word, then reneged when something better for you turned up. This isn't really about the internet; it's about keeping promises, even small ones and even when it's inconvenient.
It might take some time for her to trust you again. You failed to honor your word once in something small and relatively unimportant. She might always wonder whether she could count on you for something really significant as there is now evidence that your convenience takes precedence over your word.
A house sitter? The OP was a houseguest for 4 months. Asked to do one thing, agrees, and than backs out.
OP sounds like the type of person who makes plans with you, than gets a better offer, and cancels the original plans.
Someone lets you stay with them for 4 months(that's a long time) you extend yourself a little when they ask a favor.
OP here...and while I definitely understand how someone could come to the same conclusion that you did about the scenario without any other supporting context, your summary isn't accurate.
I've been keenly aware of how gracious she's been by allowing me to stay with her, and like I mentioned in the OP, I have done favors and been as much of a support to her as I can over the last few months. My friend wouldn't dispute this. Said that to say, It's inaccurate to say "her friend asked for one thing and she backs out". We've done many things for each other over the last four months.
Anyway, my purpose isn't to get into "who's done the most for the other", I just thought that it would be totally unfair to not disclose that she allowed me to live with her. And like I said a bit earlier, in hindsight, I do wish I had done this favor for my friend.
Interesting to see the responses from you all, as they are exactly what I've had bouncing back and forth in my head regarding the whole scenario.
Hopefully I'll speak to her soon, and we can put this behind us.
OP here...and while I definitely understand how someone could come to the same conclusion that you did about the scenario without any other supporting context, your summary isn't accurate.
I've been keenly aware of how gracious she's been by allowing me to stay with her, and like I mentioned in the OP, I have done favors and been as much of a support to her as I can over the last few months. My friend wouldn't dispute this. Said that to say, It's inaccurate to say "her friend asked for one thing and she backs out". We've done many things for each other over the last four months.
Anyway, my purpose isn't to get into "who's done the most for the other", I just thought that it would be totally unfair to not disclose that she allowed me to live with her. And like I said a bit earlier, in hindsight, I do wish I had done this favor for my friend.
Interesting to see the responses from you all, as they are exactly what I've had bouncing back and forth in my head regarding the whole scenario.
Hopefully I'll speak to her soon, and we can put this behind us.
Nobody said it was. You asked if what you did was "crappy", it was.
Many years ago I spent a weekend helping a friend move. About a month later I bought a piece of furniture and I called them as I needed help getting it from the car to the house. I needed their help for about 10 minutes if that. They lived close by, but had to go workout.....LOL. I remember hanging up the phone and thinking I spent a whole weekend helping them move and they can't give me less than a half hour of their time.
It's not about keeping score, it's about it not being one sided.
I'm not saying you're one sided, but in this scenario you were wrong. You committed to doing something and than backed out.
This sounds like a small inconvenience, some plans that didn't quite work out in a really stressful situation for both of you but it's nothing to break your friendship over. I don't think it's the grand Ceaser/Brutus-esque betrayal that people are making it out to be. If your friend really never wants to reconcile despite you making apologies and gestures, then there's probably something deeper behind it, though that isn't necessarily your fault either.
This outsider's perspective is that you're all about yourself.
I don't care if you paid her for living at her place. It is an INCREDIBLE imposition to have someone in your space for four months. I know, we had a "friend" stay with us that long and had I known in advance how it would be, I never would have said Yes. I'll never do it again and I bet your friend won't, either.
When she needs your help, you blow her off. Unbelievable.
I agree. Very self centered of you.
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