How do you Regain someone's Trust once you have betrayed it? (person, member)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Specifically, if you had said something that in theory would put their job at risk but that every single person at work does and the managers know this but just turn a blind eye. Said comment being said in angry because in the days/weeks prior their was an issue the friend was not aware about you absolutely hated. So...this was like a jab...but went to fair and ended up being like a stab (back-stabbing).
BTW-We're not really "good friends", but I figure I should try to repair said friendship because it's the right thing to do. If this was a closer friend or long-long tiem friend I know we would end up back in each other's good graces because it has happened to me already...not job related though...just arguments/ extreme disagreements.
Any tips? i mean besides telling me I'm a horrible person (which I am) and not to do / speak thoughtless again or be petty (which) i'll try to avoid in the future.
Trust is earned by being trustworthy. One must be doubly trustworthy if one is to have any chance of overcoming a betrayal.
To your coworker, you apologize profusely and accept full responsibility for your words. (If the coworker was doing something to annoy you, bring that up in a separate discussion.) If there are any repercussions from management, you go to them and try to deflect the punishment by accepting responsibility for it.
And in the future, you guard your mouth more carefully.
Trust is earned by being trustworthy. One must be doubly trustworthy if one is to have any chance of overcoming a betrayal.
To your coworker, you apologize profusely and accept full responsibility for your words. (If the coworker was doing something to annoy you, bring that up in a separate discussion.) If there are any repercussions from management, you go to them and try to deflect the punishment by accepting responsibility for it.
And in the future, you guard your mouth more carefully.
Agree, also learn the differences between friends and coworkers.
OP was very vague as to what occurred, but some people make the mistake of mixing their work life and their social life. It's best to keep them separate.
At a former employer I had a friend in an office a few doors down from mine. We used to go across the street for fro-yo every day, sometimes had lunch together, etc. I thought we were pretty close. He even kissed me once, which was sweet.
I got wind of an opportunity to make twice (really) what I was making at this company because they needed someone with my expertise. I interviewed for the job and got it. I told my friend right away. I thought he'd be happy for me.
Instead, he went straight to HR and tattled. Later I asked why. "Because you leaving affects my job." He had OCD and everything in his work had to be just right or he couldn't function.
I couldn't forgive him for blabbing. I wanted to. It wasn't a huge violation of trust, but if he did it once I thought he'd probably do it again.
At a former employer I had a friend in an office a few doors down from mine. We used to go across the street for fro-yo every day, sometimes had lunch together, etc. I thought we were pretty close. He even kissed me once, which was sweet.
I got wind of an opportunity to make twice (really) what I was making at this company because they needed someone with my expertise. I interviewed for the job and got it. I told my friend right away. I thought he'd be happy for me.
Instead, he went straight to HR and tattled. Later I asked why. "Because you leaving affects my job." He had OCD and everything in his work had to be just right or he couldn't function.
I couldn't forgive him for blabbing. I wanted to. It wasn't a huge violation of trust, but if he did it once I thought he'd probably do it again.
See this is what I am talking about. This was a coworker, not a friend. Going for coffee, or out to lunch during the work week isn't friendship.
That's not to say you can't develop real friendships through work, but just passing time with a coworker during the work day isn't friendship.
You never tell anyone you're interviewing whom you work with, I don't care how close you think you are.
Sorry, that was foolish of you to say anything to anyone you work with.
You don't. Don't betray people. And if you do, go maximal because you should expect repercussions if you fail. Betrayal is the mark of a coward.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
