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With today's technology, you'd think communication would be better than ever, but I think it's worse. I can't for the life of me understand why it's so hard for people to respond to a simple email, especially when the message makes it clear that responses are necessary.
Here's an example. I used to facilitate a social group twice a month. I did this for nearly 7 years, and ultimately shut the group down due to poor attendance. Before doing so, I sent a gently worded email to recent members describing my intentions to close the group unless I got enough indications that people planned to keep coming. I had virtually no responses, so my decision was pretty easy.
That was 2 years ago. Over the weekend, my friends encountered a guy who'd been a member of my group but had faded away a few months before I stopped. He told them how much he really used to enjoy going to my group. Do you see my problem with this? A person "really enjoys" something, and demonstrates this by stopping attendance with no explanation, and fails to respond to an email suggestion the activity will end if I don't hear from you.
This is one example, but it happens to me all the time. Can anyone explain this to me?
No, but people have trouble RSVPing too. It could be that your friend had been too busy to come for awhile, and when the group was disbanded, he realized he missed it.
I also know that many of us don't read email with any regularity. We rely on texting more. If you sent out your notice solely on email, he might have missed it until it was too late.
I don't think your experience is untypical though.
I ran a book group for 9 years. One of the lessons I learned early is to use a consistent form of communication, and to put all pertinent dates with the correct day of the week in every printed schedule and communication. Consistency is key. I had schedules out for people to pick up all the time. They used the same format, and were always current. I still had people who got confused about meeting dates and books on the schedule. It took years to get this down. I learned by making all sorts of mistakes first. But communication takes work and if you are the one doing the communicating, you have to accept that you will do the heavy lifting. The people you are communicating to will do the least amount of mental effort.
So, I wouldn't take your experience personally. Stuff like this happens. There is always one of us highly invested in whatever it is, and the rest are not so. But kudos to you for doing this. Really. What you did was a good thing.
With today's technology, you'd think communication would be better than ever, but I think it's worse. I can't for the life of me understand why it's so hard for people to respond to a simple email, especially when the message makes it clear that responses are necessary.
Here's an example. I used to facilitate a social group twice a month. I did this for nearly 7 years, and ultimately shut the group down due to poor attendance. Before doing so, I sent a gently worded email to recent members describing my intentions to close the group unless I got enough indications that people planned to keep coming. I had virtually no responses, so my decision was pretty easy.
That was 2 years ago. Over the weekend, my friends encountered a guy who'd been a member of my group but had faded away a few months before I stopped. He told them how much he really used to enjoy going to my group. Do you see my problem with this? A person "really enjoys" something, and demonstrates this by stopping attendance with no explanation, and fails to respond to an email suggestion the activity will end if I don't hear from you.
This is one example, but it happens to me all the time. Can anyone explain this to me?
I don't get it either. I just had this with a group I volunteer with. I was sent an email by this woman asking if I could run an upcoming meeting. I emailed back that day saying that I was ill(I was) and couldn't do it.
No response back, like "OK" or "thanks, feel better" nothing. This isn't the first time with her and when I see her again in person I'm going to say something to her about it. It's take two seconds to just say "OK" and hit send.
It's a lack of basic manners these days.
I also notice it in business. The person who does my taxes didn't respond to an email last year letting them know I had received another 1099 I wasn't expecting from the company I have investments with. I wanted to make sure they knew it was coming....no response. Again, how hard it is to just acknowledge the message?
Don't take it personally ever. In my opinion, it's just a symptom of overall societal decay. Most people these days just don't have basic manners and don't understand common courtesy or attention to detail. Unless maybe they were in the military or have a very professional job where that aspect is key.
A lot of people also have psychological issues such as ADD, ADHD, bipolar, depression, borderline personality disorder etc. that make them screwy like that where they don't respond. They might have seen your message or email and then 20 seconds later their favorite TV show came on or they got a text from a friend and they don't have the mental capacity to remember about the earlier notification. They might be having a good day and respond and then next time be having a bad day going through an episode and not care about it.
Some people ultimately honestly just don't care. We're living in the most materialistic, selfish, ego driven era in history, so a lot of people have money, sex, drugs etc. on their minds constantly and they prioritize their lives based on how they can use someone or what someone offers them. One more thing is this is also a very transient time period. People change often, so maybe they lost interest and rather than being respectful about it and making that clear, they just ignore the situation. This is typical behavior that we'd expect to see from former mates after a bad ending to a relationship, but somehow this mentality has spread throughout society to almost any occasion or interaction between people requiring correspondence. The death of communication.
With today's technology, you'd think communication would be better than ever, but I think it's worse. I can't for the life of me understand why it's so hard for people to respond to a simple email, especially when the message makes it clear that responses are necessary.
. Can anyone explain this to me?
You would think....and I agree...it's worse. Technology can do that to you.
I think that maybe "when the message makes it clear that responses are necessary" .......there's a problem.
Maybe some people just don't like being told what they should, should not, or is "necessary" for them to do....
I thinks THAT'S where communications tech has failed...it's left people with the assumption that others will receive and respond to any messages left on their cell.....as you've found out, it's not so.
I've always found it hard to participate in something that someone else deems necessary, when ,in fact, it's absolutely not.
I would say these people have made their response to your question quite clear ....by their LACK of response.
E-mail is pretty worthless considering how much SPAM fills my inbox daily. When you have to sift through 50 garbage e-mails to grab that one that might be of value it can be frustrating. Maybe yours got lost in the mix, who knows.
I'll be honest, I don't always respond in a way others would like. Sometimes, it is too soon for me to answer back because I don't know or cannot commit. Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I'm busy. Sometimes I flat out don't want to respond back because I think you are pushy or I am busy and I was politely trying to ignore you.
I use my phone , caller ID, multiple email addresses, etc., as a way to weed out people. Once upon a time, people had some privacy. If the phone rang and no one answered, it was because they weren't home. Now we are attached almost 24 hours a day. There are people who think they have a right to barge into your life 24 hours a day. I had a home phone and a cell phone. I mainly gave the home phone out. I found that when I gave my cell phone out, I'd be in the middle of doing something like cooking. My home phone would ring, I wouldn't answer because my hands were dirty. Then my cell phone would ring and I still didn't answer and then I got the text. The text or email is now an added chore on my list of things I need to do. I get multiple emails, texts, tweets a day. Usually they come in when I am busy. I probably really don't need to know about 75% of the stuff so then it becomes too much information.
One of the things I find frustrating is that even when people do respond to an email, they frequently only answer the first question you've asked. This happens to me at every level of people I deal with, even close family. I don't know whether it's attention span or negligence, or what. I've sometimes resorted to putting subject lines in such as "Three small questions about the xyz project" and still only the first question gets answered. I've used one small paragraph, I've use numbering points, bulletin marks.. everything. lol.
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