Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
In my close and extended family, it is always me who messages or calls my close relatives to ask how they are etc .
Rarely is anything inititated by them .
At first I did not care but lately I have been feeling taken for granted.
if I dont call for one month- they also dont call to ask how I am doing .
I feel like just because I moved away from my hometown -somehow the onus is on me
In my close and extended family, it is always me who messages or calls my close relatives to ask how they are etc .
Rarely is anything inititated by them .
At first I did not care but lately I have been feeling taken for granted.
if I dont call for one month- they also dont call to ask how I am doing .
I feel like just because I moved away from my hometown -somehow the onus is on me
Drives me nuts and makes me sad.
Thats how its been for me my whole life. I just stopped caring. If they dont feel the need to contact me, thats thier loss.
I feel your pain as this is 100% my situation. I think the general attitude is that since I moved away from home I should be the one keeping in touch with them. With some people months can go by without even hearing from them but then they get all upset that I'm not making more of an effort. It made me sad for awhile but now I've focused on people who are interested in keeping in touch. It does suck though
My mother rarely calls me. I call her about 1x/wk. She's my mother. I want to talk to her. I'm not keeping a scorecard of who called who last. But I certainly wouldn't entertain her being upset if she asked me why I haven't called her (life intervenes). If you wanted to talk, make the call.
I know the feeling. My sister lives relatively close to me and rarely initiates contact. It's sad when they don't seem to care when you decide to stop doing the work in maintaining contact with family members.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,711 posts, read 41,902,617 times
Reputation: 41453
When I was a teen, I'd figure I'd let my extended family initiate the contact if they wanted to talk to me. In 12 years, they have contacted me a total of 3 times. Shows how much they care.
When I was a teen, I'd figure I'd let my extended family initiate the contact if they wanted to talk to me. In 12 years, they have contacted me a total of 3 times. Shows how much they care.
Did they by chance want something?
I have about the same number of times being contacted, and they always wanted something.
In my close and extended family, it is always me who messages or calls my close relatives to ask how they are etc .
Rarely is anything inititated by them .
At first I did not care but lately I have been feeling taken for granted.
if I dont call for one month- they also dont call to ask how I am doing .
I feel like just because I moved away from my hometown -somehow the onus is on me
Drives me nuts and makes me sad.
It may be that your family has a limited communication style.
In DH's family, he is never called by any of his sibs. It makes him sort of mad, but I think he has mostly made peace with it. He has lived away from his family for about 50 years, so I don't think anything is going to change. Occasionally he calls someone to chat. I don't know why they don't ever call; but because they never do, he almost never does either.
I am able to keep up with them somewhat using FB.
I think different families feel the need to communicate, or not. I can remember talking to two coworkers who told me that they were hurt by family members moving far away and never communicating.
I think you should call your family every 4-6 weeks. I also think you should encourage them to post on FB, and you should too. You may have to do the heavy lifting on this; it may be just one of those things that happens in some families. I agree with you that it is too bad. I'd feel the same way as you, but I don't think it is wise to simply write them off.
they are the same people that also say "hey, haven't heard from you in a while!"
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
