Dish washing has become an issue (wife, person, present, roommate)
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We have not used the dishwasher since we bought our home back in late 2010. It is so much easier to clean the items we prep and cook food in while the food is cooking. When the family is done eating it is so much easier to start cleaning the dishes right then on the spot, before anything can dry on or get baked or caked on. Everything rinses right off and cleaning time is cut in half. For example this morning I put the dishes from last night up, got breakfast for the family, cleaned as I made food, when the kids were done eating the plates, cups, and forks went in to the sink and I cleaned those. By the time my daughter, who seems to take the longest was done, the dishes were all cleaned, stove top cleaned, counters cleaned, food items put away and the kitchen and dining room are now ready for dinner tonight.
We tried it the other way where things pile up till the next meal and that is a pain and takes longer. I am all about making life easier and waiting to clean the kitchen does not work into the plan.
On top of that the discussion on who has to do the dishes will end as you are doing them as you use them. If you eat at different times then the kitchen is always left clean after you are done. No problems, no excuses, no hassle.
To each her own. This has not been my experience ever. I consider a dishwasher an essential appliance.
I doubt the OP carries the pots/pans, spoons, spatulas, etc... that they uses to cook downstairs. And since they "usually" eat downstairs, there are still times they eat upstairs and leaves their dishes in the kitchen.
Well thank you, OP, for clearing that up.
Oh wait - you're not the OP. You're just speculating according to your own fantasies.
I'll wait for the actual information, should the OP care to provide it. Thanks anyway for your groundless speculation.
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Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
Unless the friend agreed to be the OP's maid in exchange for lower rent, they are separate issues. I don't like to clean dishes, but I clean mine because I'm an adult and its just something that needs to be done after each meal. I would not be interested in washing someone else's dishes as well because they are too lazy to do their own (this is an ongoing problem, not just since the OP has been sick).
I cannot even imagine what the downstairs must smell like with all those dirty dishes sitting in a tub for weeks. And I doubt washing the dishes is the only cleaning that the OP is lazy about. It wouldn't be worth the reduced rent. It wouldn't even be worth free rent to live in those conditions.
I disagree. They are NOT separate issues. Living together is about chores and work around the house as well as just the money part. The 2 room mates in question do need to agree about this going forward however.
As for your pejorative characterization based purely on the hyperbole generated by your fevered imagination, the OP clearly said they normally only let their dishes pile up IN THE BASEMENT for a week or less at a time. So - no basis in reality for such a nasty comment. And - what is in the basement of the home that the OP OWNS should have no effect on anyone else. Its not like he/she is trying to set up a meth lab down there. A few dirty dinner dishes - all of which fit in a single small bin - is nothing to worry about, as long as garbage has been disposed of immediately.
The thing is that they actually HAVE a dishwasher. If the roommate doesn't want to do "extra" dishes, don't do them. Or, hook up the dishwasher. Portables are not that hard to hook up. I've used one in the past myself. But for many things, especially pots and pans, I much prefer a good deep sink to do those by hand - hence, a utility sink. I haven't been in a single apartment or rental house in the past several decades that had a sink that was workable for doing dishes by hand.
If dishes are your biggest problem, i would beg her to stay
What are you going to do when you have a stranger living upstairs who parties until 3am, spills syrup on the carpet, paints her bedroom bright orange without asking, and stops paying rent after two months cause she quit her job cause her boss was mean ?
The more likely scenario is what are they going to do when they have a renter who is paying full market value and expects decent living conditions?
Right now they can make the excuse that "Oh, they're not paying that much... they knew I was a slob... I'll get around to it eventually... As long as their are no bugs..."
I'm curious as to what the Craiglist ad would look like...
Big slob (OP's own words) seeking roommate who doesn't mind living in less than ideal living conditions. Rent is comparable to other homes in the area and includes private bathroom (to share with any house guests I may have over) garage parking, spacious bedroom, and more dirty dishes then you could ever imagine.
Home is bug and rodent free (for now).
No pets allowed, although you will be asked to watch mine for free whenever I leave town.
Just as there are factors that can bring down the price of a home, I would think that being the roommate of a self proclaimed slob would also come with rent that is lower than market rate. Otherwise why would someone choose to live with such a mess when they could live elsewhere for the same price. I agree that OP should stick with their current roommate. Their might be the occasional fight about dishes, but at least she is willing to live there and pay rent.
Oh wait - you're not the OP. You're just speculating according to your own fantasies.
I'll wait for the actual information, should the OP care to provide it. Thanks anyway for your groundless speculation.
Just going off of their original post. Trust me, I don't have fantasies about the OP's mess.
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I disagree. They are NOT separate issues. Living together is about chores and work around the house as well as just the money part. The 2 room mates in question do need to agree about this going forward however.
Yes, 2 roommates doing the chores. Not just one because they aren't paying as much as they could be. The one roommate does not agree with the current cleaning situation, so it is something that needs to be discussed and agreed upon. And it shouldn't come down to the roommate pays less so needs to do the housework. Not unless that was the original agreement.
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As for your pejorative characterization based purely on the hyperbole generated by your fevered imagination, the OP clearly said they normally only let their dishes pile up IN THE BASEMENT for a week or less at a time. So - no basis in reality for such a nasty comment. And - what is in the basement of the home that the OP OWNS should have no effect on anyone else. Its not like he/she is trying to set up a meth lab down there. A few dirty dinner dishes - all of which fit in a single small bin - is nothing to worry about, as long as garbage has been disposed of immediately.
The OP said it takes him all day to do dishes. I'll admit, I've ignored dishes in the sink for a few days, but it only takes about 10 minutes to wash them. I cannot imagine the amount of dishes that would take an entire day to do. That is not just a few dirty dinner dishes. And they are not just in the basement, otherwise the roommate wouldn't be doing anything.
And yes, it does have an effect on others when they are paying to live in your house. I don't care that the OP owns the home. They need to still be respectful and considerate of the other person living in that home. Obviously their is an issue, and its not just "a few dirty dinner dishes" in the basement.
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If the roommate doesn't want to do "extra" dishes, don't do them.
But the alternative to not doing the extra dishes is to live in filth. And once there are so many dishes in the sink, its difficult to wash any separate dishes. So while the roommate may not want to clean the OP's dishes, she probably has to in order to be able to do her own dishes. I can see that getting annoying. What should take just a minute or two to clean your own dishes, ends up taking 2-3x as long as you have to constantly be washing someone else's dishes as well.
1) everything does not have to be divided in half. The roommate who is whining about doing dishes is paying far UNDER the local rent, and is paying nothing on utilities. Free heat. Free electricity. Free water. Subsidized rent. If she ends up doing a few more dishes, big whoop. Given the free ride she's been getting, whining about the dishes strikes me as selfish ingratitude.
2) That said - the 2 roommates need to agree on things going forward. For instance, if the roommate does not feel that she wants to do all the dishes in exchange for her greatly lowered rent, she can agree to move out. Or, the OP can agree to do more dishes herself (which is what she has ALREADY done, so what are you on about anyway?). Whatever they agree to is equitable, and has nothing to do with "going halfsies".
3) Not doing the dishes right away does not automatically qualify for the throwing-about of terms such as "filth". There's a whole lot more involved with "filth" than that. As for whether or not it takes "all day" to do the dishes, as I recall what the OP actually said was along the lines of that he was WILLING to take "all day" to do the dishes that have been piling up subsequent to the death of his loved pet immediately followed by getting sick - eg, more dishes than usual have piled up due to current circumstances. So - you're still off point.
Tell you what - if anyone out there has a house in good repair where they are willing to live in the basement and let me have the upper half and control of the kitchen - not only will I do all the dishes, I will COOK for you as well! I will make you pies! Cookies! Cakes!!! Fresh bread! If I don't already know it, I will learn the ins and outs of your favorite ethnic foods!
Gladly would I do all that in exchange for otherwise not interfering in my life, and asking me to pay less than half the rent/mortgage while giving me free utilities!
Set up the portable dishwasher, load it up, and have it do your dishes. End of problem. You'll have your dishes washed automatically, and all you have to do it unload it.
I've lived in many apartments but I never used them. Seems a waste to me as you have to rinse or in many cases scrub the food off anyway. While the hot water is there instead of doing that I would just wash them.
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Originally Posted by JrzDefector
I think the idea of washing the dishes immediately after eating is a great idea, and I'll give it a try.
I'm 61 years old and I have been doing this my entire adult life. My biggest pet-peeve is dishes in the sink. Probably at least part of the reason for that is I grew up in a hostile home environment where there was a lot of arguing about that. I never saw what the the big deal was. I have a vivid memory of me crying and doing them when I was around 11 years old only to get yelled at for doing them wrong.
Just wash the dishes as soon as you finish your food and have the housemate do the same. End of problem.
1) everything does not have to be divided in half.
Whoever said they did?
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Not doing the dishes right away does not automatically qualify for the throwing-about of terms such as "filth". There's a whole lot more involved with "filth" than that.
The OP said they are a "big slob" and that the basement is a mess. I'm going off what the OP said.
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Tell you what - if anyone out there has a house in good repair where they are willing to live in the basement and let me have the upper half and control of the kitchen - not only will I do all the dishes, I will COOK for you as well! I will make you pies! Cookies! Cakes!!! Fresh bread! If I don't already know it, I will learn the ins and outs of your favorite ethnic foods!
Gladly would I do all that in exchange for otherwise not interfering in my life, and asking me to pay less than half the rent/mortgage while giving me free utilities!
And that is great that you want to be someone's indentured servant and kiss their feet to save a little money. Not everyone is like that . I know I would not be interested in such an arrangement. I wouldn't want a roommate to have that much power over me.
Do yourself a favor and get in the habit of cleaning your dishes as soon as you're done using them. It's honestly MUCH better than doing huge massive loads of dishes with dried on food that have been sitting around.
Seriously, do what suzy says and get a dishwasher. You can get one that works fine for $300. GE or another name brand. Of course you can spend more but the dishes will come out cleaner than hand-washing in a $300 one.
My house is 15 years old and the dishwasher in it is the cheapo builder's one Pulte put in when the house was built ... and it works fine. Charge the new tenant a security deposit and spend it on a dishwasher and hiring a plumber to install it correctly. If you have to lose a cabinet to fit it in, believe me the dishwasher will be more handy to have than the storage space a 24-inch cabinet provides.
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