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My parents are financially irresponsible. I've had to delay school/career/personal life objectives to deal with their fires many times and it has left me about a decade behind my peers. My parents are nearing retirement age and dead broke. The writing is on the wall: if I stay here their lives will consume mine.
I've decided that at 33 it is high time I finally begin my life, and that will require being away from them. So, at the end of the summer I am moving across the country. My intellectual side knows this is the best idea but I am wrestling with the inevitable outcome of leaving them on their own. I would like feedback from anyone who has dealt with this issue (both those who decided to stay and those who decided to go). Did you regret your decision? Why or why not?
Get away as soon as you can and don't help them financially any more.
Also, go to Co-dependents Anonymous or Alanon meetings. You will be surprised how your story fits in with other people's stories and will help you find the right path from there.
Agree with everyone else. Although I'm not in your situation, there really is no debate, especially at age 33. There's only one question for you to answer: Will you be CONTENT and HAPPY serving as your parents provider at the expense of your own life until they die? Or do you want your own life?
Moving away will help but the real issue is your not being able to say no to them. They can ask for money over the phone and/or by email just as easily as showing at on your door.
Although moving will help you break the pattern, it is not the solution. Your acknowledgement that it's time to end it is a big start in the right direction.
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