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Anyone have any advice or experience on telling my parents I'm not going to college? I left about a year ago because I realized I had no passions after taking 2 years of classes, and I was afraid of debt (lucked out on scholarships, so no debt right now). I'm still afraid of debt and have no passions, I'd really rather work in retail or service forever if I can, even if it's 2 part-time jobs, or get to be a secretary if I'm lucky.
I've hinted at it before, and they're like "Then what are you going to do??" But when I try to answer, it's like I forget because I get nervous and have no answer; when really, I'm basically going to get whatever jobs I can and use that work experience to get better-paying jobs in place of education.
I know that most parents wouldn't want to hear this, but I just don't care about having a career. People get jobs and work their way through college and live alone, so I could do the same (without the debt), but forever, right?
I pretty much just want to live in apartments forever (commitment issues), so I'll have no mortgage, and renter's insurance isn't expensive. I have thought about if I'm unable to find a job with benefits that way, but I'm sure I can save money for retirement and insurance on my own, since I won't have many expenses outside of rent because I never will have kids. (Not open to the "You might change your mind" nonsense. It's just not happening because reasons.)
I'm thinking the only insurance I'll need is health, pl-pd for car, and renter's insurance, and save anything I don't use at the end of each paycheck for emergencies/retirement; but if I'm healthy enough, I would like to work until I die (like my doctor wants to, she's 75+)
I don't feel like I can tell my family all this though, so I'm looking for other ideas about what to say if anyone has them. I feel like they'd think I'm stupid/crazy, some already do just because I want to move out of state alone. Not planning to move too soon, saving money still.
tl;dr: I have unconventional life plans and I need to know how to tell my parents I'm not going to college pretty soon (cause I'm expected to go back to college after this summer) without telling them much about my actual plan.
Your plans sound rather like pie in the sky. Have priced rent and insurance?
Who is paying for your college? If you are, it's no big deal. If your parents are, perhaps you should pay them back what they've already expended on your education.
Tell them you want a year off to work and figure out what you want to do. The truth is always best.
If you were my child, I'd be happier if you were going to join the Peace Corps or Americorps than just taking a low paying job.
Actually, I've already "taken a year off" for a year, so that's why now I'm thinking of how to tell them it was... not actually just time taking off, but me just being done.
I might look into those organizations, hopefully they won't make me feel like, trapped.
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42
Your plans sound rather like pie in the sky. Have priced rent and insurance?
Who is paying for your college? If you are, it's no big deal. If your parents are, perhaps you should pay them back what they've already expended on your education.
Yes, I have priced rent and insurance (Not that I have to worry about health insurance until I'm 26). Considering my personal expenses, I won't have an issue with them because I don't go out for entertainment, eat much, etc.
And, all of my 2 years were paid with scholarships that I earned. I have not much money wasted except on books, which wasn't a big deal. Just a huge waste of time I could have spent trying different jobs.
Sorry---I forgot to add, I've been out of college for almost a year already and they expect me to go back in Fall because they think I was already taking a year off.
Location: Subconscious Syncope, USA (Northeastern US)
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Queldorei.
I know how you feel. Its hard at such a young age to really know what exactly you want to do or be. You want to work in retail? Fine, get a Bachelor's Degree in Business Management.
The problem here is, 20 or 30 years ago, a high school diploma was enough. Today, a Bachelors Degree IS the new high school diploma.
The diploma I suggest is generic. You can expand on it in pretty much any direction. Doctors, Lawyers, and any other professional need to know how to manage their business, and it can help you get a better job than just a cashier or waitress somewhere.
Even if you have decided to go for the quick buck now, and be a pole dancer or something (you did say unconventional), you are going to need something to fall back on later. Since a Masters Degree IS the new Bachelors Degree from my day, you will be ready to pursue it when you have decided you know what you want to do.
I know how you feel. Its hard at such a young age to really know what exactly you want to do or be. You want to work in retail? Fine, get a Bachelor's Degree in Business Management.
I might not have made my intentions with my post clear.
I am only looking for advice on how to communicate to my parents in a way that would upset them/freak them out the least when letting them know I am not going to college and how to prepare for questions.
I am not asking what people think about my plan. I do not care what people think about my plan. And no, college is not an option for me, and that's my choice.
The health insurance carried by your parents (to age 26) could conceivably end if you are no longer going to college. Most parents want to see their children be able to make a decent living and do everything they can to help that happen. College is not always the path, but as coney girl said...college degree is the new high school--master's the new bachelor's. There are technical and trade schools that sometimes yield the same earning potential.
I suggested joining the Peace Corps or the like or even the military. It can take awhile to decide on a career path. Giving through national service could help you with that and provide a sense of accomplishment & solid work experience. Good luck.
Last edited by historyfan; 03-21-2016 at 04:54 PM..
Reason: Edit
As parents ,we considered a college education as the ultimate gift we could offer our children. But, it sounds as though your parents are not footing the bill. So, while personally I would have felt my "gift" was rejected if my sons didn't graduate, your parents don't have that same investment. You have every right to choose your own path, since you are self-financing it. Tell your parents you have given it a lot of thought, and college is not the right way for you. Then, stop explaining and/or apologizing. You have earned the right to make that choice.
OP, you do not have "unconventional life plans". Lots of people work til they're too old, that's about as conventional as you can go. It doesn't sound like you have any ambitions (nothing wrong with that) which is going to turn off a lot of people because it sounds to them like you have no plans or imagination for your life. It's not going to be easy to explain this to your parents, but then again, it's your life, and you got to live it. I think when you do sit down with your parents, just accept that they're going to not like what they have to hear, don't argue or feel baited into defending your decision, lay down the facts and whatever ideas you're willing to share about your life. Know that they're going to want to hear a plan, even if it's something they don't like. Having some kind of a plan is better than no plans (and honestly, you sound more towards the latter, perhaps drum up more about the move to another city? ).
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