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The problem with handing someone $50 to cover your bill is that they put that amount toward the bill and don't take into account the tip portion. That's how you come up short. Just hand them 40 and hold on to the tip until it's settled.
I was once screwed over by a group who shorted the check and I put in $40 for the tip out of my own pocket - and I was the non-drinker. I would have felt bad not tipping the server. I learned my lesson.
see my bil would pick up the whole tab too if we would let him I don't let him do that at all and he hates that too . I told him no we will split it easy peasy . Don't be ridiculous let people split it all except the alcohol .Thank God they live far away and not close by any means but when they go on vacay they think they have to stop here for a day or two and treat us to dinner . I told them no they can eat here at my house but they say no you cook all the time let us treat to dinner for the next two nights .
It's a very outspoken group that we are going out with (but have to go, it's my wife's family/friends of family). The ones who organized it will be like, "we'll just figure it out at the end, now lets order drinks"
I am not very outspoken or confrontational, that's why I was going to ask the server separately.
Until you learn to stand up for yourself, you will continue to be taken advantage of. It doesn't require being confrontational, but it does require being somewhat outspoken.
My wife and I (2)
Her father
Her sister
Another sister, family of 4
Another family of 4
And another family of 4
Most of the adults are known for really liking their drinks, EXCEPT for my wife and I. (water or iced tea for us).
We will get absolutely hosed on dividing up the bill. People seem to lose their math skills when adding up their meal/drinks.
I just want to go ask the waiter/waitress for a separate check for my wife and I right after they take the drink order (not at the table).
Your thoughts on this. And if you are going to disagree with anything, don't bash, please just explain how you would do/handle it.
Thanks.
Oh god.....You are literally preaching to the choir here! My wife and I enjoy a cocktail or two, but not at every meal and only if the mood strikes us. When our kids were young, we usually just ordered water for drinks or perhaps milk for the kids. Liquids of any kind, alcohol or not, are expensive at a restaurant of any kind. Paying $2.50 for a 16 ounce glass of Coke or $6.00 for a whisky seven, especially if you're going to drink multiples, strikes me as more or less stupid. I don't care in the least what others do....but as you pointed out, when you're at the opposite end of the table from where the server starts taking orders, and the "spokesman/woman, says, "Oh...just put it on one tab and we'll divide it up later", I just cringe because I know what's coming. We're going to be paying extra for everyone else's two or three drinks, and everyone else will be saving a bit because we're not drinkers.
The best way to handle it varies with who is in the group. Sometimes I just make a joke early on saying I'm not good at math....so let's make the waiter give us separate checks so we don't have to try to do math after drink or two. That usually bring a chuckle and a nod that it's a good idea.
It's a very outspoken group that we are going out with (but have to go, it's my wife's family/friends of family). The ones who organized it will be like, "we'll just figure it out at the end, now lets order drinks"
I am not very outspoken or confrontational, that's why I was going to ask the server separately.
I'd never buy my father in law dinner. He is the cheapest bast..ard around. He's all take. SIL, sure.
And, yeah, it's always the ones who make out well that don't want separate checks. Will let you all know how it goes.
Well you don't have to go, you have to go to work, you have to pay bills, you don't have to socialize with people you don't care for and get screwed over financially in the process. Doesn't matter if you're related by marriage.
If you're too timid to be frank with your wife that you don't care for her father(although she must have a clue) and won't suggest a quiet Easter at home, than you start to not feel so well(stomach flu) and you stay home.
It's not like someone is cooking a big dinner, you're going to a restaurant, you have the option to not go.
You may have to do Thanksgiving and Christmas, but you can pass on other holidays.
Quote:
Originally Posted by middle-aged mom
Many restaurants will not do separate checks for large parties, especially on holidays.
Many restaurants impose a minimum gratuity on large parties.
Most restaurants will however, accommodate a separate check for the bar.
Good point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
It is funny how the people who order "3 very expensive mixed drinks" with their meal often think that it is totally fair to split the tab evenly with someone who just drinks water or coffee with their meal.
Perhaps all that alcohol has addled their brains.
Oh they know exactly what they're doing. Which is why you don't put yourself in the same position again with the same people.
As the saying goes "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".
I always tip at least 20% based on the whole bill including tax.
This wasn't addressed to all woman....especially people I don't know, however, in my experience as a waitress, Women are the worst tippers, even those I used to go out with....If you leave 20% no need to defend your actions...and thank you for doing so.
So for my $22 bill I ended up tipping out a total of $11...never again.
yup, you live and learn.....the ladies I used to go out with were the same way....
Personally I don't care what they tip, actually don't want to know, but when I put down my tip, they always made such a big thing out of it...
I explained that a good part of my life I waitressed, spent all holiday weekends except Christmas away from my son....had to purchase my own health insurance, and was paid minimum wage.. Back then I loved to waitress, love the interaction and pleasing people. Always treated them special, like I would want to be treated...and worked some pretty fine slow service restaurants. However, it's very hard work. You go home and your feet burn so badly....the trays are heavy, the cooks are sometimes nasty, along with the people, and you just have to smile and be kind....
Told them it is 20% now....and they were insulted....but older women who have the money to go out several times a week??????
To me, there is nothing more embarrassing then someone who finds fault with the waitress b/c they don't want to tip....
It took me a while to train my older sisters to tip well.
Haven't been able to get their friend to cooperate. She will even check to see what we've left. If she thinks it is more than enough, doesn't put in anything for her meal. And we always get separate checks. So she ends up not tipping!!!!
OMG????? I would go out without her.....honestly....to actually mutch off of you guys is so wrong.
I don't believe that's true. None of my women friends are cheesy tippers, even the one who brags about being allowed to be cheap because she's Jewish! She always wants a bargain and likes to eat at restaurants she has a coupon for, but her kids have tended bar and served in restaurants, and she's the first one to lay down 20% on what the bill was before the discount.
Maybe you just hang out with cheapo women?
I waitressed, and whenever women came in we all cringed...I'm glad you don't cheat the waitress, thank you for doing so....but in my experience, I've learned different....
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I always tip at least 20% based on the whole bill including tax.
