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I would never have answered that text. If she asked me about it, I would have said I assumed she sent it to me by mistake since she knows I'm unemployed.
I would never have answered that text. If she asked me about it, I would have said I assumed she sent it to me by mistake since she knows I'm unemployed.
i love this answer!
i wouldn't loan her the money even if she did sign a note, because i wouldn't trust that she'd pay it back.
I would never have answered that text. If she asked me about it, I would have said I assumed she sent it to me by mistake since she knows I'm unemployed.
We've known each other for 30 years.We're not THAT close where she can ask me for 1,000.She's a fulltimer who holds the same job for over 15 years. She's a nurse who makes 75 to 80,000/yr. She's a bit smug about that, btw. She inherited a house that she's gutted and finished remaking. Bank wouldn't give her a large loan for that job. She jammed up all her credit cards with the construction $ for the house. I've been unemployed for 3 years and she knows all this. I sold some real estate in my family and been living off proceeds. I'm not rich, I'm not a nurse. She had the b***s to TEXT me, and ask me for 1,000 loan and would repay it on April 8th "when she gets her next check." I never loaned that kind of money to anybody. I told her I would give it to her if she signed a note for it and would repay it in its entirety in cash on April 8th.She blew her top. Said she'll "pass on my offer." She saw me this past Saturday, when we ate out. Why couldn't she ask me to my face for the money? Or call me? TEXT me? Her credit card was declined at the restaurant and she had to use another one. That was a red flag to me that things aren't going well for her. She must think I'm a real sucker to just hand over 1,000 and not even have her sign for it.
People have lost friendships and gone to small claims over a lot less than that. I"m not stupid.
Is it possible she has some kind of habit? "Recreational" coke users sometimes live like that. Hold a job and have a paycheck, but blow it all up their noses on the weekend.
Or a gambler. Woman at work, 50ish, picked up the habit in middle age, lost two multifamily houses her parents had left to her for rental income.
that thought definitely entered my mind. I'm watching Nurse Jackie on Netflix now. 1,000 is quite a lot to ask for. She texted me 8:30 in the morning Monday.Supposedly she's on her way to work or already there. I didn't respond. She resent the same text at 3:30.Never called to speak to me. Weird..
i wouldn't loan her the money even if she did sign a note, because i wouldn't trust that she'd pay it back.
I let her know that the note was "enforceable" which means I would take her to small claims. I kind of knew that the conditions I gave her, she would back out. If she really needed it, I fathomed she would go along with my conditions. Otherwise, I guess she just doesn't need the money or has someone she'll ask.
Never lend friends money. I won't say ever, I will if the situation is dire, reasonable, and outside of their control (IE: death in the family), with the expectation that I may or may not get it back.
However for a discretionary purchase like this it is not worth it.
Don't flat out tell them no, just find a good reason you are unable to at this time, and leave it high level and generic. They'll take the hint and move on, and retain the friendship.
I once lent a friend in the neighborhood of $12,000 over 10 years ago with only a verbal promise to pay me back. I don't remember exactly what it was for (it could have been to purchase a condo) but it wasn't life threatening or anything of that nature. Naturally I was very hesitant at first, but my judgment told me this person would pay me back and they paid me back every penny within a year. I'm still good friends with this person and their family today and they make way more than I do. I'd think they'd do the same for me if I need some money. However, I don't know of anyone else, past or present, that I would lend this amount of money to without a promise in writing to pay me back. Even with something in writing there's very few people I'd lend this type of money to.
Is it possible she has some kind of habit? "Recreational" coke users sometimes live like that. Hold a job and have a paycheck, but blow it all up their noses on the weekend.
Or a gambler. Woman at work, 50ish, picked up the habit in middle age, lost two multifamily houses her parents had left to her for rental income.
I agree with this. Repeated texts without calling, and asking for a large amount of money - then blows up when you ask her to sign a note? That smacks of desperation to me.
I don't buy the house reno excuse either. Who starts a project then gets so overextended they can't eat out?
My gut just told me not to give her the money. I doubt she would lend me this type of money if I asked her.
I expect she might send me some more scathing texts like how I'm such a bad friend, how I don't trust her, how I insulted her by talking about signing notes,etc. Frankly I feel I never want to see her again or speak to her. I know that might be mean. But I felt it was very arrogant to ask me for that kind of money and almost expect and assume I would say "of course." - and not even expect to be paid back? She even thanked me "in advance." "Oh and thanks in advance." really....I don't want to speak to her, eat out with her, no more movies...I don't think I should even answer the phone if she calls. She needs some time to think about her behavior.
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